


What Everyone Ought To Know About Dave

by Miracle_Novelist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aj - Freeform, Anger, Angst, Depression, F/F, F/M, FML, Frustration, How Do I Tag, Humanstuck, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Like, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Dave Strider, POV Karkat Vantas, Sorry Not Sorry, Soulmate AU, Tags Contain Spoilers, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, To Be Edited, Worth It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2018-09-28 10:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 64
Words: 71,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10093904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miracle_Novelist/pseuds/Miracle_Novelist
Summary: Dave's read those stupid soulmate happily-ever-after articles, and he finds them completely cliche. Wouldn't anyone? Their filled with guarantees and fake smiles. It's almost sickening. So there is one thing that everyone ought to know about Dave: he does not give two shits who turns out to be his stupid soulmate, even if she's hot and smart. Because there is one thing Dave knows for sure...that relationships don't last, and they are not, in any way, "perfect".Updated: Irregularly





	1. Lamp: On

It’s the middle of the night, the window’s open, the warm July air blowing infrequently through the blinds, and you’re half-way asleep when it happens. You almost think you're dreaming, but the pain is too excruciating to be fake. It starts out with that weird tingling feeling you get when your foot falls asleep. But where, usually, you start laughing and trying not to touch anything with that foot, it’s more like silent screaming and clawing at your chest.

It then turns into lightning bolts of pure pain. You have to grind your teeth and flex every muscle in your body to keep from calling out. You almost do, because two minutes of agony makes someone wonder if it’s ever gonna end. But the pain subsides a little, and you’re finally able to sit up with minor difficulty.

You reach over and turn on the lamp. It’s one of those weird green, half cylinder ones that slowly gets brighter. You look down at your chest, or try as best you can.  
You attempt to read the words upside down and with limited light, but it’s a weird handwriting that looks like someone had the caps lock on. You recognize the word “STRIDER” and “FUCK” in the giant sentence, that actually, looks more like a paragraph.

You find it odd that the first words your soulmate will say to you include your last name...unless she already knows you. Or your first words to her included your name, but that’s unlikely. Your go-to greetings are “sup”, “hey”, and “yo”.

  
The urge to read the paragraph on your chest becomes too much and you walk to the bathroom. It takes you a little while to decipher the backwards text, but once you do, you don’t know what you’re feeling.

  
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STRIDER SHUT THE EVERLOVING FUCK UP AND PAY ATTENTION”

  
The sentence presented itself in three lines and made you want to puke.

  
But in actuality, it was only a matter of time until it was your turn. All of your other friends got their's a while back, leaving your ass to trail behind like the most epic "late-bloomer". John even met his soulmate, Jade you think her name was. They met at a nerd convention, you don't remember which one. There's a bunch of those frickin' things and you can't memorize all their goddamn names.

  
It's an odd feeling, knowing for sure your soulmate is out there, and you have a little piece of her on your chest. You could compare it to looking down on the city and realizing just how small you are. You still think this soulmate business is bull, but now you're a part of said business and you feel a buzzing in your stomach, like a swarm of bees.

  
You hear a knock on the door frame and look at Dirk through the mirror. Both of you don't have your shades on and you can see his eyes looking at your chest. He doesn't say anything. Which you're grateful for. He knows how you feel about soulmates, and he has yet to meet his too. You could say both of you have similar views on the matter.  
"Gotta piss."

  
Rose is sitting on the kitchen floor with a bottle of strawberry vodka next to her, and might you add that the bottle is empty. Stepping carefully over your sister, you maneuver to the fridge and grab a small bottle of apple juice. You note that you only have two left, which means it's time to go shopping again.

  
You pass Roxy on your way back to your room. She seems to be too preoccupied to notice your new ink. It's amazing how alive the Strilonde home is at two o'clock in the morning.

  
Once you get back to your room, you sit on your bed and drink your AJ, while thinking about the sentence on your chest. You're not going to get any sleep tonight and you know it, so you pull out your computer and catch up on all the comments and replies on your various social medias. But there's only so many of them, and when you end up finishing, you're left with the contents of your mind again.

  
For the next month, you do everything in your power to not wonder about your alleged soulmate. Until school starts back up, then you're sure you'll have plenty to keep your mind off of her.

  
Or so you think...


	2. Dave Your Way To Success

A week before school starts, you and your siblings go shopping for clothes and supplies. You guys do this every year so it’s not like it’s a surprise...hm. Only two of you have jobs, so the budget’s not supersized. So you compromise, downsize, customize, randomize, standardize, stylize, personalize, overemphasize...okay, this got away from you.  
“Aight, we’ll meet by the bread stand in twenty.” Dirk takes out his wallet, “Do either of you freeloaders need any extra cash?”  
He turns to you and Rose.  
“Rox’s got me covered,” your sister gives two drunken thumbs up while you shrug.  
“I’ll take a twen’y.”  
He pulls one out and delicately hands it to you, “There ya’ go hun, go buy yerself somethin’ nice.”  
“Thanks kind sir, I’ll be in the porn section if ya’ need me.”  
Dirk chuckles and reaches to ruffle your hair, which you dodge narrowly. You didn’t spend an hour on it this morning just for it to get messed up two hours later.  
Your brother points to the money in your hand and then his watch, “Twenty-twenty.”

You end up getting one big notebook and a package of pens, you spend the rest of the money getting a few hoodies.

The Strilondes go out for lunch after that, and you all eat sandwiches on Dirks tailgate, in comfortable silence, like usual. Later, you guys jam out in the car, everyone's screaming the lyrics and laughing their asses off. You have an ache in your heart that yearns for more times like these, but you push it out of the way and just enjoy the present moment.

As the truck drives past Prospit Street however, your chest starts to burn and your lungs exhale every atom of oxygen. ‘Whoa...that’s new,’ you think. Everyone keeps on singing while you have a little freak out, but once you’re past that particular street, the air seeps back into you and you’re left wondering just what the fuck that was.

That night, after you’ve tried on all of your new clothes, read the next updates for a few comics, and gone through all of your social media sites, your mind slowly wanders to the car.

What, in the hell, was that? It wasn’t heart burn, that’s for damn sure. You have an itching feeling that whatever it was, it was connected to your soulmate.  
And for the first time in a long time, you lay in bed just thinking about her...or him. I mean, your brother is just as gay as Eridan Ampora, which is really saying something. Statistics show with each older brother, comes a 33% chance the younger one will be gay. Is that number raised if your older brother is a Fruit Loop? You shake your head, no. That only means you have a 33% chance of being gay and that is not enough for you to seriously consider anything.

 

* * *

 

You don’t spend too much time on your clothes, just some jeans and a hoodie. You figured out years ago that no one actually gives a shit what you look like, because everyone’s too worried about what they, themselves, look like. Contradicting that, you spend about an hour and a half getting your hair to stick in the right directions.

Your sisters started yelling at you to hurry up in the bathroom, so you moved to the T.V., using its reflection as a mirror.  
“Dave, if you develop any more vanity, I’ll have no choice but to consider you a girl.” You're surprised she's sober.  
“Woman, Rose, not girl. I will not be treated as minority in my own home.”  
“Alright lil’ man, you wanna catch an early ride?” Dirk is swinging his keys around his finger. You take him up on his offer, grabbing your backpack and exiting the house, now thoroughly confident in your appearance.

You don’t feel that pain in your chest when you pass Prospit Street and you’re thankful. Maybe it was just some random thing that happened once and never again. Maybe you ate that sandwich too fast. Yeah, that’s it: just a weird version of indigestion.

Although, once Dirk’s honkin’ black truck gets closer to your school, it slowly seeps back into your body. You clear your throat three times before you give up on trying to talk. Dirk seems to be having the same problem. You say nothing. Is it a Strider thing? Did Dirk have the same feeling last night too? It's probably just a coincidence right? Maybe he had something lodged in his throat.

Once Dirk speeds off, you’re left standing in the chilly August air, staring up at the two-story building for the first time since junior year.  
“Dave!” You hear an all-too-familiar voice calling you. John is standing just outside the entrance, along-side three other people. You only recognize Jade.

There’s a girl about your height, with red glasses and a cane. She’s swinging it around and grinning like an idiot. She’s also holding onto the arm of a freshman...brother maybe? That’s what you pin him to be since he’s so fuckin’ short. Oh god his hair. Ugh, that makes you just wanna fish out your brush and go to town.  
As you get closer, your chest grows less pained, and more tingly. Good, you were considering going to the nurse and that would’ve been uncool. But tingly? Y'know what, whatever. You're sick of being confused by this shit.  
“Oh hey coolkid,” Jade waves.  
“Sup Harley.”  
John puts his arm around her, “We were just making plans for after school, you free?”  
“Maybe, what’s goin’ on?”  
“We’re probably just going to go get some pizza and then go to my house. Dude, I just got a really cool game, it’s called Sburb.”  
“Is that the one you were talkin’ ‘bout last week?”  
“Yup, it finally came!”  
“Alright,” you look over at the two strangers.  
“Oh, yeah! Terezi...Karkat...meet Dave. Dave, meet Terezi and Karkat."  
Terezi butted in before you could, “May I say...you do taste attractive.”  
You were a little confused, but smirked anyways, “Thanks,” you give a two-fingered salute. It takes you two seconds to realize what you did.  
The guy with the giant mess for hair glares at you, then you realize. ****“Oh shit, sorry. Ya’ probably didn’t see what I did there, huh?”  
Terezi sighed, “I could smell your greeting, so you’re fine. But if you make any more blind cracks, I’m gonna cut your tongue out and shove it up yer ass, got it?”  
You chuckle, “Yes ma’am.”  
You decide you like her, she’s spunky, if not a little violent. Her wispy voice and cackle makes your lips twitch up just slightly.

Terezi and the freshman go off to do their thing, as well as Jade. You're left with John. You two have the same first, second, and sixth periods. So you make your way to art to start out your day.

 

* * *

 

 In history, you find yourself looking out the window, feeling that ache in your chest again. God, what the fuck is this? Should you go to the hospital? Should you tell John? Would he even know what to do?

You look over at said nerd, holding his pencil in his left hand and scribbling down whatever he can. This new teacher talks too fuckin' fast, it's hard to understand...especially with the British accent. Looking on the board, you see the words Mr. English written in calligraphy-like script. He can't be older than Dirk, this kid probably just got out of college or some shit. 

Lunch rolls around and your friend group stays as small as ever. Just John, Jade, Tavros and yourself. Rose used to sit with you until she took an interest in the music club. Now she sits with Eridan, Feferi, giant horse dude, and the cat chick. You miss hanging out with her, but ever since her little break down, she's been distant with everyone.

So as you sit at the same table you've been sitting at for three years, you take a moment to look around.

John's teeth are protruding from underneath his lip as he laughs unattractively. Jade is trying not to laugh through a bite of her small vegetable tray. Tavros is shyly smiling, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and dimples showing.

Rose, across the lunchroom, is reading a book and ignoring everyone around her. As per usual.

And you sit there thinking. You don't really matter. Like, if you died, or left, or whatever...time would still go on without you.

 

* * *

 

 

You didn't really feel like Gym today, but you'd rather not fuck up your grades this soon in the year. John's in that class, which means you won't be entirely bored.

You guys talk about skipping seventh hour (which you guys wouldn't do, you just like the idea) while getting dressed, and before you even think, you dumb shit, you hear John squawking like a fucking dying parrot.

"Oh my god Dave! Why didn't you tell me?" He's got this gigantic grin

You laugh awkwardly while rubbing the back of your neck.

"What's it say, c'mon let me read!"

"John-" Before you can object, he's holding your upper arms away from your chest and squinting at the markings. You watch as his face contorts into confusion, and then recognition, and then he bites his lip and squeals like a little girl.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!! Dave! I know who your soulmate i-" You clasp a hand right over his mouth before he can say anything.

"Don't say another goddamn word John. I don't want to know, so just leave it at that." Whoa, when did you get angry? Stop it.

Even though your hand is covering half his face, you still see enough to know he's hurt. His eyes show that weird look, the one he gave you when you broke the first pair of glasses he bought you. You were so mad that you snapped them right in half and threw them at the wall. John didn't speak to you for three days. Which doesn't seem like a lot of time, but three days for a second grader is forever when you spend almost every waking hour with someone.

You remove your hand and feel guilty for being a dick. And instead of apologizing, you absolute  _dumb_ shit, you put on your shirt and walk out of the locker room.


	3. Lies and Damn Lies

You’re glad you don’t have seventh period with John, otherwise...well, you’re not really sure what would happen. You’d probably say something you’d regret. Kinda too late for that now. You overreacted, you know that for damn sure. You just don’t want John to spoil it...spoil it? No. That would imply that you’re excited for it or some shit. Whatever “it” is.  
You’re just not ready to meet her. That would mean you’d have to try at a relationship and you really don’t want that. Besides, you’d be too busy with school starting.  
  
And you’re pretty sure you’d fuck it up. Somehow. You always do.  
  
The pain in your chest (which has been there all fuckin’ day) is replaced by "the tingles" as you get closer to the music room. You’ve given up caring about it. It’s just too much exertion to give a shit. You walk into class with a slouch in your spine. God damn it Strider, it’s only the first day and you’ve already lost your cool.  
  
“Mr. Strider...pleasure to see you again. How was your summer?” Mrs. Paint has always been your favorite teacher. She’s kind but feisty when tested, and a heck of a singer.  
“Good.”  
“You sing any?”  
“Recorded a few tracks."  
“That’s awesome. Can I hear them?” Her smile lit up the room.  
“Yeah, I’ll burn ya’ a disc.”  
“Great, hey...you okay?” She’s like the overjoyed aunt you never had. All you had was a depressed alcoholic. She’s in some hospital right now though, maybe she’ll get better. Wow, Dave. Your thoughts just keep getting away from you.  
“Yeah, just tired. Schedule’s all fucked up.” Lies.  
“Haha, I know what you mean. I slept in until two in the afternoon yesterday.”  
“Damn,” you scratch your nose as you sit in the front row. You never sit in the front, but you like being close to the music instead of stupid kids talking over the speakers.

Rose walks in with Eridan and Feferi. And of course, she notices that something is wrong. You can tell she’s still sober and you’re kind of proud.  
“Good afternoon Dave, you seem to have something on your mind.”  
Ah, what the heck right? “Just had this weird feeling in my chest all day.”  
She scrunches her eyebrows together, “Heartburn maybe?”  
“Nah. I think it has something to do with this soulmate shit.” you say low enough so only she could hear. She stiffens however, and shakes her head.  
“I can’t help you there. Good luck,” she walks to sit across from Eridan. Your eyes follow her. You’re starting to put the puzzle pieces together. Before you look back towards the front, your eyes wander to the freshman Terezi was with. Kyle right? No. Carter? That doesn’t sound right either.  
  
“Okay young-lings, my dear musicians, welcome to music class, I’m Mrs. Paint. Today is going to be a chill day, because quite honestly, I didn’t get enough sleep and I doubt any of you did either. So who wants to go first?”  
You can tell most of the freshies are confused by the chorus of ‘huh’s. Eridan raises his hand first, like always.  
  
A few minutes later and he’s preforming Ghost by Mystery Skulls. He does good, but you’re tired of that song. He practiced it like a million times last year and now it’s going to be stuck in your head for the rest of your life. Along with Pumped Up Kicks and every single Coldplay song.  
  
Rose plays her violin after him, and some new girl sang very badly but she didn’t seem to care. Then Mrs. Paint looks expectantly at you. God damn it.  
“No,” you tell her.  
“C’mon Dave. Come do some _sick raps_ for us, you’re really good at them.”  
It’s hard to decline after her compliment. You find yourself sighing and standing up. God _damn_ it.  
You choose the song Moral of the Story by Watsky since you’ve known it since middle school, and can sing (rap) it perfectly.  
You see the surprised faces in the audience and grin while performing. Everyone claps after you’re done, and you sit down with a smirk on your face.  
“Anyone else? Oh, I guess it's my turn.”  
Mrs. P proceeds to sing Girls by Marina and the Diamonds and then I Am Not A Robot too after everyone cheers "encore". You can’t help but feel eyes on you. One pair or many, you’re not sure.

You walk home alone. Rose decided to stay for some book club she wants to join.

Other students are walking towards the residential part of town, just like you. You feel kinda awkward since you’re the only one walking alone. If this day went differently, you would be walking back with John, but...it didn’t.  
  
You still feel tingly, even when you pass by Prospit. As you keep walking however, the pain comes back. Does your soulmate live down there or something? Ugh. You ignore that topic, thinking about something far more important.  
  
Rose.  
  
Your sister has been acting weird ever since school ended last year. You’ve asked, but she never answers any personal questions. But you’re starting to get it. Every time you bring up soulmates or dating, she closes down.  
  
It has something to do with soulmates, you know that for sure. But you just don’t know what about them. She got her tattoo around Christmas and she was exuberant, happy as happy can be.  
  
Then she just shut down.  
  
So what happened?


	4. If Dave Is So Terrible, Why Don't Statistics Show It?

Roxy was the only person home when you arrived. How did you know this? Well (besides her coat and purse hanging on the back of the couch) there was very bad country-rap blaring out of the living room speakers and her laptop was on the coffee table surrounded by an ass load of papers.  
  
She trudges out of the hallway. Even more papers in one hand, a beer in the other, and a determined look in her eyes. She plops down on the couch and takes a drink.  
You clear your throat to announce your presence.  
“Oh hey glasses, what’s up?”  
“Jus’ got ba-.”  
“Hey, you gotta sharpie marker?”  
“Uh...I should? What’cha workin’ on?”  
“This stupid project, I gotta make a poster board an’ present it to the class. I thought we left that shit back in high school.”  
“Guess it followed you. Anymore beer?”  
“Yes please.”  
You roll your eyes but smile. Setting your backpack near the hallway, you go to the fridge. There’s four more beers, haha never mind...two more.  
  
You sit with your older sister for two hours working with her on her project. And even though you know next to nothing about esoteric science, you still had a good time.  
  
That is, until Dirk busts through the front door, grabs two katanas off the wall, and sprints out the back. It’s not like that’s a new thing, but his speedy urgency worried you. One look at Roxy shows she’s thinking the same thing.  
“Fired?” You suggest.  
“Or worse.”

Both of you know not to follow him when he’s like this, so you don’t. He’ll probably take your head off from swinging that sword like a lasso. Rose comes home with cat girl and Feferi not even five minutes after your brother did. They were laughing and giggling and you’re pretty sure you haven’t seen Rose that happy in months.  
  
You’re happy she’s surrounding herself with positive energy. You laugh to yourself, you sound like a hippy. How about we go meditate in the woods and smoke some marijuana. That actually sounds appealing to you and you don’t know why.

That night, after you’ve done your daily rounds on social media and burned a disk for Mrs. Paint (which would’ve been way easier if you just had a flash drive), you hear the back slider open and close, the padding of tired feet, and the small thump of Dirk’s door.  
  
You want to go talk to him, make sure he’s okay. And you wonder what happened, of course. What kind of brother wouldn’t wonder? Was it his job? Or...well, actually. That’s all you can think of. Dirk doesn’t really talk about his relationships, if he has any at all. Wow. You realize you’re kind of a shitty brother.

 

* * *

 

  
  
You didn’t hear the two girls leave Rose’s room, but they’re gone when you wake up. Dirk’s door is still closed and most likely locked. Even as you do your morning routine, you only hear your sisters get up. You guess he’s staying home.

The walk to school was colder than you thought it would be. It was cold yesterday but it wasn’t this cold. Jeez. And it’s only August. What the fuck? You feel the painful tug in your chest all the way to the last block before school, then it turns into that static-foot-asleep thing.  
  
You don’t hear John’s overly-cheerful voice calling you over, and that bothers you. You see him smiling and laughing with the same people from yesterday, plus one. Even from here, you can tell he’s taller than you. With two different shoes and 3-D glasses. Who wears 3-D glasses outside a movie? But then again, who wears shades without any sun.  
  
You consider stopping and checking up with John, but once he notices you, he stops talking, smiling, and he glares at you. He fucking glares at you! The conversation between the group ceases and you feel all ten eyes (well...eight and Terezi) on you.  
You don’t stop walking until you get to the doors, and then, you only slow down because you have to open the door before entering. You over hear them behind you.  
“What the fuck was that John? I could literally hear the tension in the air.” And you almost turn around because of what John says, but you just clench your teeth together and slam the door behind you.  
“He’s a fucking idiot.”

It’s no mystery why you sat away from him in first and second period. You’re pretty sure everyone in school has noticed how John had been acting.  
You find yourself mumbling to yourself in the hall. You freeze instantly, because you haven’t mumbled in years. You used to say every thing you thought, which as you can probably guess, led to a lot of serious problems. You even went to therapy for it.  
But now you find yourself freaking out. You hurry past a group of students just fucking standing in the middle of the hallway.  
The easiest way around was through Terezi’s small friend. You slide between him and the wall, but you accidentally bump him.  
“Sorry shorty, just passin’ through.”

You head to the bathroom, where you splash some water on your face. Everything was just fine before school started. Before you got this stupid tattoo. Before Rose broke down. And god damn it, now you're mumbling again.  
You look at your face in the mirror, your eyes staring back at you. It almost feels like your staring at a photograph. In other words, it doesn’t feel like you’re looking at you. As in the present moment seems fake.  
Okay Strider, enough of this philosophical shit.

Throughout that whole day, you’re stuck in your own head. Even when you feel a thousand eyes on you, boring into your soul. You pass off any questions people ask you. You’re the first one out of your classes, and the first one in. You’d rather not see John right now, because you’re afraid you might punch him in the face.  
  
He deserves it, he really does. He’s being an ass hat. How are you being an idiot? You just don’t want to know who your soulmate is. Especially now that you’ve got all this shit to think about. It’s like a scale with a sack of potatoes on each side, weighing your mind down into the ground.


	5. How We Improve Our Dave In One Day

Wednesday, you skipped school altogether. You woke up with a sore throat and that, on top of all the stress, drove you to say “Fuck it”. You turned off your alarm, rolled over, and fell back to sleep. Damn you school germs, kids are just gross.

You slowly awake, finding a ray of sunlight has peaked through the blinds and is now shining directly into your right eye. Holy mother of frick, that’s just your luck right?  
When you sit up, you feel like gravity has it out for your brain. Groaning, you walk to the bathroom to get some aspirin. And just in case it gets worse, you take some cold medicine too.

You’re not really hungry, you never really are in the mornings. So you go to the fridge to get some apple juice, but there is none. God damn it, why are you the only one who goes shopping around here?

Dirk walks through the doorway and freezes when he sees you.  
“Shouldn’t ya’ be in school kid?”  
“Gotta’ cold,” your voice is scratchy, which sells it. Well, it’s not like you’re lying, so you don’t really have to ‘sell’ it. Your brother just nods, continuing to the fridge. He grabs a water bottle and closes the machine’s door.  
“Stay away from me, I don’t wan’it.” He leans against the counter.

Both of you stand in an odd silence. You think of telling him about the feeling in your chest lately (which isn’t present, thank god). Is that what he’s so upset about?  
“You want some eggs?” Dirk asks.  
“Nah, I’m good.” That sends you both, again, into an awkward silence. You could just turn and go back to your room, so why aren’t you doing that? Well, maybe because this is the first time you’ve seen your brother in a whole day.

“Anythin’ on your mind?” Your brother asks, looking at you from the side of his head.  
“Shouldn’t I be the one askin’ you that?”  
“Whad’ya mean?”  
“Monday dude. You came in rushin’ to strife.”  
He nods, takes a drink of water, and looks at his socks.  
“You get fired er somethin’?”  
“Nah. It’s just...somethin’ came up.”  
“...”  
He pulls his shirt up, showing his hip bone and the green letters printed on it: ‘Sorry to intrude, but I could use some directions to the kitchen wear.’ You've seen it countless times throughout the years, it's not a new thing.  
“Uhh, so...?”  
“So some buck toothed guy came up to me on Monday, an’ said those exact same words.”  
Oh shit, you guess that’s sort of a big deal.  
“Whad’ya say?”  
“Didn’t say a damn word, that’s the problem. I jus’ bolted the fuck outta’ there.”  
“So...your soulmate came up to you, asked you a question, and you just left?”  
“No, not “just left”. I LEFT, as in sprinted the fuck to the back of the store, clocked out early, and hauled ass home.”  
“Damn. You left the poor guy with no idea.”  
“Yup.”  
“So what are you gunna do?”  
“I honestly don’t have a fuckin’ clue lil dude. Still workin’ on it.”  
  
For the rest of the day, you and your brother sit on the couch and watch shitty television. You also go shopping together (in another general store Dirk doesn’t work at, just in case that guy pops up), before the girls got home.  
And you’re happy to say: you bought two cases of AJ.

Roxy got home around five, and she looked exhausted. She went straight to bed, no questions asked. You’re kind of impressed your sister could get into college. Proud even. She’s one smart cookie.  
You probably couldn’t do it. No, there’s not even a ‘probably’. You couldn’t do it even if you really tried.

Once it gets late enough for you to hit the sack, you get off the couch and nod to your brother.  
“G’night.”  
“’Night lil bro.”  
  
What would it be like to meet your soulmate? You don’t know. It’d probably be hella scary. Like the most epic “oh shit” moment. Hopefully you have the balls to not book it once the event arrives. Not saying your brother doesn’t have balls, it’s just...you’d rather not come off as...yknow...capable of emotions. Maybe then she’ll leave you alone, and not even bother.

You eye the burned CD sitting next to your computer. You were too distracted to give it to Mrs. Paint on Tuesday. You still have to tell Dirk you started mumbling don’t you? And you have yet to fix things between you and John. It’s already been three days hasn’t it? Why is he mad again? Oh that’s right...he shouldn’t be. He literally has no right to be mad.  
  
You get an idea, and once you boot up your computer, you go to the search engine on google. You sit there for a few seconds, thinking on how to word your question. Then you get it:

“what does the tingly feeling mean soulmates”

And you scroll through the list, clicking on a link that looks good. You quickly close out of it because that is not what you were looking for. If you were looking for porn, you would’ve typed in porn.  
You click on another link and this one is an article. It takes you couple minutes to read all though it. Wow. WOW. Why didn’t you do this before?

 _“There are a few things to look for when it comes to soulmates. Usually, your tattoo will appear 2-4 months before you meet your mate, which can be painful depending on how many words there are and where they resonate. Now this doesn’t mean you two will say the words written on your body somewhere, but it does mean you guys will be in proximity. Which brings us to my next point. Some people call it “the tether”. When you and your soulmate are within the right distance, both of you feel a force. This can also be painful if you two have not formally met. If you have, it’s less prominent, and less of a chore. You’ll know you are close to him/her once you feel a tingling sensation. It means you two are within 100 feet of each other, or close to it.”_  
  
That explains a lot. You recall every time you’ve felt that painful tug. The night you got your tattoo, coming back from school shopping passing Prospit, arriving at school, and all throughout the school day. What the fuck? And all the times you've felt the tingle in your chest. You remember walking back from school on Monday feeling tingly. Was your soulmate also walking home? Maybe with one of the many groups?  
Oh god your brain hurts. Despite the pain behind your eyes, you continue thinking about the topic for another hour. You came up with 3 conclusions  
1.) Your soulmate lives down Prospit Street.  
2.) Your soulmate goes to your high school.  
3.) Your soulmate is in your music class.  
4.) Bonus Conclusion: You, Dave Strider, are scared shitless.


	6. Learn To Dave Like A Pro

At some point in the middle of the night, you got up, changed clothes, and got a container of apple juice.

When you woke up for the second time on Thursday, you considered skipping again. Your sickness seemed to be 10 times worse, so you groaned as you put your feet on the floor. Gravity, again, seemed to be attacking your brain.

After a little conversation with yourself, you hoist yourself off your bed. You’re going to school whether you like it or not. You need to make things right with John and give that disk to Mrs. Paint. Also you need to stop being a wimp, because even though you’d like to blame not going to school on the sickness, you know it’s because of everything else. So you pick an outfit, fix up your hair, and walk your ass to school.

It’s still cold out, but not as cold as Tuesday. As you’re walking, you think of all the ways you could make up with John. Ha! It sounds like you two are a couple or something.

Halfway to school, you still can’t come up with anything, so you make the decision to let John deal with it. It’s not like it was your fault right? Why should you have to fix it? And right on queue, the “tether” shows up when you round the last block to school. You try not to notice it, I mean...it’s not like you don’t already have enough on your mind. When the school is in viewing distance, you sigh and mentally prepare yourself. You see John and the group standing in the usual spot, and you don’t even attempt to approach. You’re too tired and sick. If John wants to fix this, then he can fix this.

You see the confusion on your best bro’s face when he realizes you’re not coming towards them. You see the new dude with the 3-D glasses. You’re not sure if he’s glaring at you or if he has a resting bitch face. You don’t even try to comprehend the look further. As you walk, you feel the eyes of the entire group on you. And you could honestly care less.

At lunch, you take a step back and think of how you got there. Damn, the day has just flown by hasn’t it? You look over to John’s table, now occupied by six people. You’re sitting with your sister, temporarily. Hopefully, John will be smart enough to pull his head out of his ass and apologize.

When you arrive in seventh hour, you’re surprised to see Tavros sitting in your usual seat.

You sit next to him, “When’d you get in this class?”

“Oh, um...I just got my schedule change today.”

“Sweet, hopefully you’re not mad at me too.”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“’Cause everyone’s had beef with me lately.”

“And by everyone...do you mean uh...John?” You nod your head.

You hand Mrs. P the disk as she walks by, and she gives you a smile so sweet, you could get a cavity just by looking at it. That brightens your day just a lil’ bit. She tries to get you to rap, but you’d die if you put your throat through that kind of torture. So you point to your throat and shake your head. She pouts.

You feel the slightest itch on the back of your neck. _Whoever it is...Stop looking at me._

Rose sings Hold Me Down by Halsey. Boy, she seems happy, you wonder what made her mood change. You also wonder when Mrs. Paint is going to start teaching your class. I mean, you’re perfectly fine with everyone just preforming for the rest of the year, but you’d actually like to learn more about music.

Tavros and you pass notes throughout class time. Although you haven’t really hung out with him all that much, you think he’s an alright dude. Maybe a bit shy, but that’s not really a bad thing.

“Hey Dave?”

“Yes Tavbro?”

“I was...wondering if you’d want to...hang out after school?” Damn. Wasn’t expecting that.

“Yeah sure. What do ya’ have in mind?”

“I’m meeting someone today. And I guess you’d be my moral support?”

“Who’s this someone,” you nudge him with your elbow and wiggle your eyebrows.

He smiles, which shows his dimples. “He may or may not...be my...soulmate? I don’t really know yet until I meet him so...”

“Yeah, I’m down. Is this at...” 

“The park.” 

“Sweet.” Not sweet, this sucks. Have you really become so desperate for friendship that you just agreed to third-wheeling?

Roxy sticks her head inside the door. “Rose! Dave!”

Wait...what? You look from sister to sister, then slowly stand up. Roxy has a weird grin. “Ya’ know that’s not considered whispering, right?”

The class is now silent in curiosity. “Who fuckin’ cares, just get yer asses over here.” Both you and Rose make your way awkwardly to the hall.

“Dave,” Mrs. P asks, “are you and your sister leaving for the day?”

You look back at Roxy and she nods vigorously. “Seems like it,” you look at Tavros, “Rain check?”

Tavros bobs his head and gives you a weak smile. You look at all the faces looking at you and salute.

Turns out Roxy just wanted to celebrate Dirk meeting his soulmate. You guess he told her today and she thought she’d surprise you. It seemed to surprise Rose, if that’s even a word for it. She basically just shut down again. Dirk was in the passenger seat of Roxy’s car, looking like a teenager being forced to go to a family dinner. Now that you look at it, the situation isn’t far from that.

It was kinda sorta lame, Dirk got mad at your sister for embarrassing him. So the night went to shit when Roxy burst out crying and Rose was left to console her.

As you lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling, you think of how this week has gone to shit too. You lost your best friend, you’re sick as fuck and it’s only going to get worse, and you have this soulmate shit to deal with. John knows who it is. Which kind of puts it into perspective. You have a soulmate.

YOU have a SOULMATE! Like...what even?

You consider the thought of meeting her...or him. God, that thought has been itching at you lately. What if it’s a guy and you’ve been calling him a her. Whatever, HE won’t know...that sounds really weird...whatever. And for the rest of the night, you try to push every single thought about John, about Dirk, and about your soulmate (who may or may not be a guy, you’re not sure. You just have a feeling) out of your mind.


	7. How To Lose Dave In 5 Days

John Fucking Egbert. The royal and most prominent pain in your ass at the moment, has just flipped you off. You randomly looked over at your old table and caught John’s eyes. You gave a slight head nod and then he just...did it.

It wasn’t a playful flip-off either. It wasn’t like the times he challenged you to beat his high score and you did. No. This was the type of bird John would only throw if he was seriously pissed as hell.  
And the worst part? You don’t know what you did, and you sure as hell don’t know where to go from here. It’s obvious he’s not going to try and fix this. Is he seriously going to pin this on you? Seems like it.

Before you know what you’re doing, you’re doing the same to him. You slowly lift your hand up in front of your face, extending your forbidden finger and it feels good...but wrong. It feels like your stomach is hitting your pelvic bone.

You sniffle as you look away. The sickness has completely taken over your sinuses, and it...is...hell. You can’t even breath out of your nose.  
“Strider?”  
“Huh...” Eridan is giving you a confused look.  
“The fuck wwas that? I thought you an’ that little rodent wwere friends?”  
“Yeah me too bud.”  
“Is that wwhy you’vve been sittin’ wwith us?”  
“Yup.”

It’s a well known fact the Eridan Ampora used to have a crush on John Egbert. It’s gone now, replaced with a weird kind of hate that hasn’t gone away since. Sometimes he looks at your best friend like he wants to kiss him and then rip his head off. It’s weird... and you’d rather not think about it too much.  
Eridan continues to ask questions about what happened, but you don’t answer them. Nepeta, the cat girl you previously hadn’t met, even tried to stop him.

When seventh hour came around, you see that Tavros didn’t show up. Actually, you haven't seen him all day. You smirk to yourself: he probably skipped today to be with his new boyfriend.

It’s kind of scary how fast you can brush off what just happened. Did John platonically break up with you? Is that what’s happening right now? Maybe you’re too sick to care?  
No. Maybe you’re just numb to it. You’re probably just shutting down your feelings and, from experience, you can say that is the worst possible thing you could do at the moment.

Eridan motions you over to their table before you can even step inside the door. It’s better than sitting alone, so you plop down in the seat next to your sister.  
“Sup nerds.”  
“Howwdy loser face.”  
“Just loser face?” you raise your eyebrow. “Not very clever there hipster Harry Potter-fucker.” You say in a fake English accent.  
“I wwould nevver fuck Harry, he’s too precious.”  
“Oh sweet Jesus.”  
  
Mrs. Paint went up to the center of the nonexistent stage, and cleared her throat.  
“Good afternoon gentle-childs, it is my pleasure to present an excellent soundtrack made by our very own...Dave Strider.”  
Whoa...wait what? No...oh god please no.  
“Although it is very short...” she looks at you with a disappointed look. “...and they’re all covers...”  
“Hey, in my defense, creating a whole new song would take a lifetime. And also, you’re really gunna show that shit?”  
“It’s not “shit” Strider...it’s art.”  
“Oh, okay. My bad: art that is coincidentally, shit.”  
She glares at you, but also smiles.

She plays it for the class and you bite your lip. The disk included four songs by Watsky, one by Eminem, and Dangerous Man by Little Dume (which is you actually singing and not rapping).  
Listening to it takes you back to the summer, before you got this stupid tattoo and before school started. God, what you would give just to time travel back to those days. You sound like you’re 90 or something.

When the tracks finish, everyone cheers. Mrs. P opens up the ‘stage’ to anyone who wants to preform.  
“Anyone? No one? Wow.” She walks around the tables, eyeing everyone. From behind you, you hear her say “You’re up Sollux, you’ve been quiet all week.”  
  
When he stops in the front, your heart stops. Ok, pause. Let’s refer back to the conclusions you came to back on Wednesday:  
1.) Your soulmate lives on Prospit.  
-Not yet established.  
2.) Your soulmate goes to your high school.  
-Check  
3.) Your soulmate is in your music class.  
-That is quite obvious since he’s standing right in front of you.  
4.) You, Dave Strider, are scared shitless.  
-FUCKING CHECKS ALL OVER THE DAMN PAPER

Let’s think about this. You’ve seen him standing by John (who claims to know who your soulmate is). And if he’s been hanging out with John, then he obviously knows who you are, unless John knows how to keep his mouth shut, but you don’t think that’s possible. You haven’t said one goddamn word to him, which means there’s a 50/50 chance he could or could not be your soulmate.

Fuck he’s tall. Mrs. Paint brings up the browser and types in the song he chose. Lost At Sea by Zedd. He sings really good.  
Wait. Wait one goddamn second. You felt the tether Monday, when this guy wasn’t around. Well...he could’ve been already inside the school...  
You feel lightheaded. What the fuck. What the FUCK.

Like back in the lunchroom, you lose control of your limbs. They take you outside the classroom and towards the bathroom.  
You’re not going to have a panic attack. You are not going to have a fucking panic attack.

Don’t you fucking dare Dave.

It takes you a minute to calm your breathing. What...the fuck? No. Stop freaking out. It was bound to happen right? Just get over it.  
The bathroom door opens and then closes. You see red and blue in the mirror and you spin around so fucking fast, you actually get dizzy.

“Okay!” you exclaim. “Before you say a goddamn word, stop it right there and listen.”  
He crosses his arms and gives you a condescending look. That fucker.  
“You know already, I can see it in your eyes. John probably told you. Okay, here’s how this is gonna go, yer gunna turn your 3-D ass around, and walk right out of that door before you say it.” he opens his mouth, “No!” you point out the door.  
He doesn’t budge, and you try to keep your stance but you slink against the stall. Fuck, you’re exhausted.  
“Are you done?”  
If your heart had lungs, they would be sighing in relief. Your actual lungs make up for it.  
“Oh thank god.”  
“You thought I wath your thoulmate?”  
A lisp? “Yeah, kinda.”  
He puts his hand on his chin and looks off thoughtfully. “If I were, the wordth “Okay, before you thay a goddamn word, thtop it right there and lithten” would be inked into my shoulder blade. But they’re not tho...”  
You let out an empty laugh, putting your hand on your heart for no damn reason.  
“I’m not gunna tell you, but I do know who your thoulmate ith.”  
“Yeah, seems like everyone but me knows.”  
“Tho why don’t you wanna know?”  
You look at your reflection, “If I knew, I could probably tell ya’.”  
He bobs his head.

So that is how you met Sollux Captor, and you’re glad you did because that’s just one more person checked off the list.  
When was there ever a list?


	8. Dave Knew It

Why don’t you want to meet your soulmate? This seems like a relatively easy thing to answer, but you can't, for the life of you, come up with any form of response.

You sit on the thought all weekend while you recuperate from your cold. You actually stay in bed during those two days, only getting up to take a piss. And even then, you procrastinated until you just couldn’t hold it anymore.  
  
Unfortunately, you have to do laundry before school tomorrow, so you have no choice but to exit the confines of your comforter. It’s ten o’clock at night and you are hauling a basket of raunchy ass clothes to the laundry room.  
You shove the garments into the drum. Ha, it all fits!  
  
The couch seems like a good place to chill while your clothes wash. So you find yourself sitting next to your sister as she watches some drag queen fashion show thing. She makes drunken comments towards the ones she doesn’t like, which amuses you.

You wish you had your phone at times like these, but ever since you dropped it (ironically) into the bathtub, it hasn’t turned on. You even put it in a bag of rice for 24 hours, but to no avail, it didn’t work.  
So you spend the rest of the night watching T.V. with your sister and doing laundry-related things.

 

* * *

  
  
You wake up very confused. What is that sound? It doesn’t belong here. Stop it, stop it now. It’s not stopping. God fucking damn it!

You slam your hand down on your alarm clock, glaring at it. It disrupted your dream, whatever it was, and you’re now angry as hell. You really don’t feel like getting up, and (for once) it’s not because of the sickness...which has almost completely gone away.

Ah fuck. You gotta talk to John, and you’re not going to back out this time. You’re gunna do it and that’s final. Even if he’s being a pussy about it.  
You really don’t want to get up. It’s warm under the blankets and you can feel freezing air on your face. Ugh, too cold. You feel yourself drifting off, and you catch yourself. Shooting up, you look at the time.

Oh. It’s only been two minutes.

After you’ve successfully woken yourself up with a cup of coffee and a scalding hot shower, you start getting ready for school.

Dirk gives you a ride, like always, and again, like always, the tug in your chest presents itself around the last block to school. And, like always, Dirk speeds off after your shut the truck door.

When you turn around, you look up at the sky and the pink clouds. For some reason, you feel kind of...infinite? You don’t know if it was the scalding hot shower or the fact that your hair looks perfect today, but it makes you feel exceptionally good. Like weirdly good.

You have a sense of pride to you. So you don’t even blink as you stride up to your best friend, take him by the shirt (calmly and cooly, I might add), and lift your shades.  
“If you’re done being a pussy ‘bout this situation, I’ll be in the football field ta’ talk.”  
And with that, you turn, snapping your shades back on and swiftly walking away.

John seems reluctant at first, but he soon gets the idea that you don’t give a shit if he’s mad at you (you’re really good at showing the facade you want). So he opens up like a book once you roll your eyes and sigh.  
“Things aren’t going so good with me and Jade.”  
“Whoa, wait...what? This is all because you and Jad-what?”  
“I thought soulmates were suppose to be perfect for each other, but I guess that isn’t true.”  
“Dude...” You’re sitting backwards on the bench below John, so you have to look up.  
“I guess...I don’t know...I was jealous?”  
“Jealous?”  
“Yeah...cause you’re just like...so confident that you don’t need a soulmate, and it made me angry because...I don’t know...you were right? Both of you were. And it sucks ‘cause I really thought I finally found ‘the one’. Well...I mean...I did, but she’s not...Ugh!”  
He leans forward, putting his head on his knees.  
“What’dya mean by ‘both of you’?”  
He sighs very loudly. “Your soulmate. You both don’t want to meet the other and it’s just like...so frustrating ‘cause I thought I was...ugggg...I can’t.”  
  
Oh.

You’ve thought about this. The fact that maybe he/she doesn’t want to meet you. You thought you’d be glad, but...you feel...rejected? No, stop it.  
Golly gosh darn, it’s not even 9 am and you’re already exhausted.

So you and John spend the first two classes of the day catching up on current events like how Dirk met his soulmate and John’s new dog (that’s actually Jade’s).

You guys finally make it to your soulmate talk around lunchtime. He asks you to think about it, and you ask for some time to do so.  
“But...like...jus’ let me know one thing...”  
John turns to you as you’re walking to the lunchroom, and you suck in a breath. Should you? I mean it’s already too late, he’s looking at you funny. Just say it.  
“I jus’ need a one-word answer here, nothing more. Is...it a girl or a...guy?”  
Your best bro smirks at you, and wiggles his eyebrows.  
He says it like he’s offering you drugs or some shit, “Guy.”

Fuck, you knew it.


	9. Dave's Seventh Period

Cronus, or Mr. Ampora, or Mr. Daddy-O, made the whole class run a mile. So by the time you arrived in seventh hour, your legs hurt and the sweat was finally dried on your back.  
Since Tavros hasn’t showed up yet, you just sit in your usual spot until you hear a “ptthht” from behind you. A couple other people looked back too, but Sollux was staring right at you.  
“What’s up?”  
“Wanna be partnerth?”  
“Huh?”  
He points to the board, where Mrs. P has written “PARTNER PROJECTS DUE AT THE END OF QUARTER” on there.  
“The fuck?”  
Sollux has moved into Tavros’ spot, and is now smirking at you.  
“Dude, yer creepin’ me out. I’ll be your partner if you stop looking at me like that.”  
He conceals his grin and resorts to pulling out his phone.

When the bell rings, Paint comes to stand on the ‘stage’, smiling excited-like at everyone.  
“So, as you can see, you guys have a project due at the end of this quarter. This project can be anything that shows your talent, whether it’s piano, violin, or vocal skills...the list goes on.”  
Oh boy, you have a shit ton of ideas running around your brain. Should you do a duet? Well...obviously since this is a PARTNER project. Or Sollux can sing and you can do the turntables and turn this shnizzle into a fuckin’ rave.   
“Now, since this is such a small class, I’ve decided that partners will be chosen in alphabetical order, sorry.”  
The whole class seems to groan at the thought. Great, nevermind...no rave.  
“So, I will list off partners now,” she picks up a clip board (which is probably just the attendance sheet).  
“Ampora, Captor.”  
“Lalonde, Lejion.”  
“Makara, Maryam.”  
“Megido, Nitram.”  
“Peixes, Serket.”  
“Strider, Vantas.”  
  
Who the fuck is Vantas? Once Mrs. P lets everyone find their partners, you see a bunch of kids asking around about who the fuck they’re with. If you guys aren’t even on a first name basis, how are you suppose to find someone with the last name Vantas? Process of elimination you guess.  
“Who the fuck ith Ampora?”  
“The douche sitting around on his phone not giving a care in the world. Sitting next to my sister. He’s a cool guy, sings pretty good. Gay as a fuckin’ fruit loop.”  
He gives you a questioning look.  
“Compared to a cheerio, that’s pretty gay.”  
That seemed to clear things up, seeing as Sollux got up and walked over hesitantly. You watch him say something and Eridan snap his head up. Whoa, what did Sollux say that was so fucking surprising? Then Eridan says something and Sollux stiffens. Eridan pulls his scarf down and you can see a little sentence, but you can’t make out the words. Oh...shit. Oh shit? Nah, this is good. Good for them.  
Someone plops down in the seat next to you like their butt was a semi, and the chair was a small rodent in the road. In other words, you felt the pain in the little guys legs. And by “little guy” you mean the chair, not Terezi’s little freshman.  
“Sup.”  
Nothing. Well...okay?  
“So I guess we’re suppose to do some duet? I’ve never done one, so...good fuckin’ luck to us. Not to be rude or anything, but...I totally forgot your name. I’m gunna take a leap of faith and say it’s something like...Carter? Wait, no. It started with a K right?”  
He glaring at you, but is also not looking at you.  
“Alright, ya’ don’t wanna talk? That’s cool. I'm exhausted too...”

“Okay class, now that you have your partners, let’s take a look at the things we’re gonna learn over the next couple weeks...”

So she goes through the whole list. You’re not surprised to see things like vocal practice, runs, and breath control on it. But you’ve never seen piano practice, or harmonizing.  
“As the more advanced kids can see, I’ve added some new things too. How do you like them? Eridan, Rose, Dave...I’m talking to you guys.”  
“Wwhy do wwe havve ta’ knoww piano?”  
“Because it makes girls swoon, and it’s good for practicing vocals too. See,” she hits a key on the piano sitting up front and then matches it with her own voice.  
So class went by as slow as it possibly could. A slip of paper was shoved in front of you.

carcinoGeneticist

The handwriting looks familiar, but you can’t place it. You look over at Vantas and he’s looking back up at Paint.  
“Pesterchum?”  
He nods.  
“Sweet.”

That night, as you’re dicking around on the computer, you remember the slip in your pocket and open up Pesterchum.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:19 --  
TG: yo  
TG: its me  
TG: you’ve been blessed with my presence  
TG: my electronical presence  
TG: well  
TG: just wanted to make sure this is the right handle  
TG: and from your consecutive silence  
TG: i can safely say  
TG: it probably is  
CG: JESUS I DIDNT KNOW SOMEONE COULD WORD VOMIT WHILE TEXTING.  
CG: SINCE THERE IS A THING CALLED “BACKSPACE”.  
CG: attachment:<s19484>.jpeg  
TG: i know what a backspace key looks like vantas  
TG: i just choose not to use it  
CG: YEAH I CAN FUCKING SEE THAT.  
CG: I TURN MY COMPUTER ON AND IM BOMBARDED WITH A STRING OF RED TEXTS.  
CG: NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?  
TG: i already told you  
TG: just checkin to see if its you  
TG: this is vantas right???  
CG: YES  
CG: IS THAT IT?  
TG: yeah pretty much  
CG: GOOD IM LEAVING NOW...  
CG: AND MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS, NOT JUST VANTAS.  
CG: AND NOT FUCKING “CARTER” EITHER.  
TG: ok then  
TG: see ya around karkat vantas

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:34 --

Wow, this guy doesn’t seem to like you all that much huh? Oh well. He’s stuck with you for the rest of the quarter.


	10. 'Bout Damn Time

Dirk woke you up since you apparently slept through your alarm. You vaguely remember turning it off and telling yourself to get your ass up. Fuckin’ Tuesdays man.

Since you’re late, you don’t have enough time to take a shower, so you just wash your face over the sink. First with hot water, then with cold. You stand there blinking rapidly, trying to wake up your eyes. Ugh. Everything else is awake.

Your hair turns out almost perfect, maybe a little poofy here and there, but other than that, it’s fine.  
  
Picking an outfit out of your hamper (since you haven’t folded any of your fucking clothes DAVE), you slip on a tee shirt and some black jeans. Now that your cold is completely gone, you don’t have to wear those hot ass hoodies to keep you warm.

You get your daily ride to school in a certain black Chevy truck. During that unfortunate amount of time, you chat Dirk’s ear off about random shit. Boy, you’re in a talkative mood today.

You can tell from how fast Dirk pulls up to the curb that he wants you out. Now. So you do just that, and then shut the door. He pulls away from the school so fast, you think his mirrors could fly off just from the sheer velocity.

John’s voice carries across the parking lot, “Dave! Over here!”  
When you get close, your chatty mood doesn’t change. “John, I know where ya’ stand everyday, I don’t see why ya’ say ‘over here’.”  
“Yeah, me neither. Hey, you seem to be in a good mood?”  
“I guess, I’m jus’ really chatty. Jus’ talked Dirk’s ear off.”  
“I rather enjoy my earth, tho can you jutht not.”  
You purse your lips, then nod.  
“You haven’t heard about Tavroth have you?”  
“Wait...hear what?”  
John clears his throat. “He was hit by a car...on Thursday.”  
“Thursday?” Fuck, you were suppose to go with him. “What happened?”  
“He was leaving the park and someone hit him from behind. They think he was running.”  
  
Your mind is weirdly quiet. You don’t know what to think. Shit.

“Is...is he alive?”  
John gasped “Oh shit, you thought he was dead. Sorry Dave, no he’s very much alive. But...he...is sort of...a paraplegic now?”  
“I don’t know what that means. Which one is that?”  
“It’th where you can’t use your legth dumbathh.”  
“Oh shit.” _Man. This is all my fault._  
“It’s not your fault Dave. Unless you were driving the car, but you weren’t so...”  
You said that out loud? Shit.  
“I was suppose to go with him Thursday. He went to go meet his soulmate and he needed ‘moral support’. But I ditched.”  
“From what I remember, didn’t your mom pick you and Rothe up? That ithn’t exactly ‘ditching’.”  
“Wait I thought your mom...”  
“He’s talkin’ ‘bout Roxy.”  
“Roxy picked you up?” John asks.  
“Yeah?”  
“She never does that.”  
“Dirk met his soulmate and she wanted to celebrate.”  
“Oh...that kitchenwear guy?”  
You nod.

“If I may intrude on this conversation...” Terezi puts her arm around your shoulder. “I don’t think standing here talking about ‘the kitchenwear guy’ is going to help little Nitram.”  
“Shit, okay. I don’t know how we could help him, per-say.” John crosses his arms. “But we could always visit him after school...”  
“Great plan Egbutt, I’m in.”  
  
After school, you all make your way to the residential part of town. John’s Dad said he could drive you guys. So John, you, Sollux, Karkat, and Terezi make your way over there. You haven’t seen Jade in a while, and you wonder if her and Egbert broke up.

You eye Prospit St. when you pass it. There’s a couple groups of students walking down there, and you try to recognize one of them. Music class, anyone from music class? No one.  
  
“So...Dave. Sollux says you can sing,” Terezi elbows your side.  
“Yeah...that...is a thing I can do? Why?”  
“Sing for us.”  
“Nah...”  
“Is...Is that...fear I smell?”  
“Fear? Nah, I jus’ don’t feel like singin’ right now. Plus, I gotta run inside real quick.”  
You jog up to your house, leaving the group on the sidewalk. You throw your backpack on the couch and leave a note for your siblings.

“went to the hospital to visit a friend dont wait up”

Rose and John are talking when you approach. They’re just exchanging greetings and mediocre talk.  
“No book club?” you ask.  
“Unfortunately, no. Our manager seems to be elsewhere. And by elsewhere, I mean she’s currently hanging out with her new music partner, whom is highly medicated and seems to only use the words ‘motherfucker’ and ‘motherfuckin’.”  
Terezi cackles, “We’re going to see Nitram, you want to join us?”  
Rose looks conflicted, and you know why. Usually she comes home and starts drinking, then sobers up for school the next day. You consider putting your hand on her shoulder for some acknowledgement and encouragement, but decide against it.  
“Not today, I’ll take you up on your offer next time though.”  
That sucks, you thought she was getting better.  
“Ya’ sure?”  
“Yeah, I have some homework to do.” She gives you a sad look.  
“Alrighty then.” You guys have a shade-to-eye conversation, then the group leaves and starts walking again.

When you arrive at John’s, his dad gives you a very tight hug.  
“I haven’t seen you a long while kid, what’s going on?”  
“Nothin’ much,” you wheeze as he squeezes you.  
“Dad, we should go. Visiting hours end at seven during weekdays.”

You don’t like hospitals, but you suck it up and enter. You let John and Sollux ask the nurses where he is. They lead the way to a small room on the right.  
When you enter, you have to squint, even with your shades on.  
“Jesus Christ, where’s the fucking blinds?”  
John pulls down the strings, and that fixes your problem.

You spend about four hours sitting and talking with Tavbro. Terezi and Karkat seem to stay back. Karkat doesn’t even talk. Does he ever talk? Maybe he just doesn’t like you. ‘Cause you’ve heard him arguing with someone in music class. That tall dude, you don’t know his name. You’re pretty sure that’s the ‘highly medicated’ dude Rose was talking about.  
  
Maybe Vantas...or Karkat just doesn’t like crowds. Maybe that’s why you’ve never seen him sing either. Stage fright? That’s gunna put a damper on your partner project isn’t it...oh well.

“Dude, how did the soulmate thing go? Was it him?”  
“Uh...no. Thank god. He was the one who ran me over.”  
“So I guess you could say the date was a bust...”  
“Oh my god Dave.” Tavros chuckled, then threw his pillow at you.  
“I think you dropped something,” you throw it back. “Too soon for the spine jokes?”  
“Way too soon.”  
“By the way, why didn’t you text me? After this happened?”  
“I was...sort of...uh...unconscious for a couple days...”  
“Well shit.”  
“Yeah...I hit my head pretty hard.”  
“Well, we’re glad you’re okay now,” John says.

Mr. Egbert dropped off Terezi on the way back to John’s house.  
“Do you boys need a ride?”  
“Nah, I can walk.”  
“Our houtheth aren’t that far away, me and KK can walk too.”  
  
So that’s how you ended up walking with Sollux and Karkat. You’ve been meaning to ask Sollux about Eridan.  
“So...Captor. I saw that lil’ exchange between you and Ampora...anythin’ you wanna announce? Oh shit...is that a blush? Awww.”  
“Thut up Thtrider, it’th none of your buthinethh.”  
You chuckle, “Defensive much?”  
“Yeth, actually.”  
“Okay fine...I won’t ask,” you walk a little closer to Karkat. “So got any idea’s about the project? I was thinkin’ a duet, ‘cause I mean...it’s a partner project. Do you sing?”  
You can tell he’s getting annoyed.  
“You’re thtill in a talkative mood aren’t you?”  
“Is it that obvious? Well anyways, Sol over here doesn’t want to talk so you’re the dude. I haven’t heard you sing yet, or are you more of the instrument type?”  
“I can totally cover any types of dubstep if that’s what you’re into, or the piano...John taught me a little back in middle school. Unless you want to do the singing and I’ll do the arranging...or the other way around. We can also do some chorograp-”  
“For the love of God Strider, shut the everloving fuck up and pay attention! I am not. In. The. Mood. To. Talk. About. This. Or talk about anything for that matter. The project is due in like two months, longer even. Don’t worry, we have time. Or are you illiterate and can’t read the words ‘END OF QUARTER’ on the board. Huh?”  
  
Whoa. Did that just happen? Wait. Were those the first words he’s said to you? Karkat Vantas. Karkat...Vantas...  
  
You see him roll his eyes, then rub them. “Fuck.”  
You feel like you should say something. Anything?? What are you suppose to say?  
“Did’ya know?”  
“Yeah, I knew.” He pulls up the sleeve of his sweater and printed in your lowercase handwriting is five words.

“sorry shorty just passin through”


	11. The Question Of Dave

So I guess this is a good time to have a talk with yourself huh? David Elizabeth Strider. You have just met your soulmate. Let me say that again.

You, David Elizabeth Strider, have just met your soulmate.

It’s a scary realization. Like...your soulmate is REAL. Well, I mean, yeah he was real. John knew it, Sollux knew it, and apparently even HE knew it. But like...he’s real. He has a face and a personality and a voice. And he has a name and you should probably start using it instead of ‘he’.

You are Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas is your soulmate.

 _God that sounds so fuckin’ weird._  
  
You should probably tell your family. And John, for that matter. You should...but you don’t want to. You don’t know why you don’t want to. They’d all be happy to hear it. It’s not like it’s embarrassing or anything.

You wonder if he-Karkat would mind. Maybe you should talk to him, ask him if it’s okay. But you really don’t want to.

Jesus Christ Dave, you should make up your mind. It’s not that hard to do. You’re either gunna do it, or you’re not. Choose.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 7:57 --  
TG: so  
CG: THAT’S IT? JUST...SO?  
CG: YOURE EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD AT CONVERSATIONS.  
CG: HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU THAT?  
TG: im just thinkin about what to say  
CG: MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY SAY.  
CG: THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE DO THAT.  
TG: well im sorry  
TG: thats just the way i am  
TG: kinda trying to make sense of this situation  
TG: and talking helps me with that  
TG: anyways  
CG: IS THERE EVEN A REAL REASON YOU TEXTED ME?  
TG: yes  
TG: i have a question  
TG: here  
TG: let me think before i say  
TG: it may tak a while  
TG: take*  
CG: REALLY?  
CG: IT’S BEEN FIFTEEN MINUTES STRIDER.  
CG: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO WORD A QUESTION?  
TG: at least twenty minutes  
TG: maybe a little more  
TG: depends on how pissed you are right now  
TG: tell me karkat vantas  
TG: on a scale of one to ten  
TG: how pissed are you??  
CG: ...  
CG: HOLD ON IM CHECKING  
CG: SORRY BUT I SEEM TO HAVE LOST MY PISSED-O-METER  
CG: NOW TELL ME  
TG: ok  
TG: are you ready???  
CG: JUST ASK THE FUCKING QUESTION ALREADY!  
TG: karkat how am i suppose to know youre ready if you dont tell me  
CG: HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST...  
CG: FINE  
CG: IM FUCKING READY.  
TG: see now it wasnt that hard  
CG: ...  
CG: I HAVE A FEELING THERE WAS NO QUESTION...  
TG: no there was  
TG: im still trying to word it  
CG: IT MUST BE THE MOST CONFUSING QUESTION ON THE PLANET BY HOW LONG ITS TAKING YOU.  
CG: EITHER THAT OR YOU’RE JUST REALLY DUMB.  
TG: nah its just hard for me to ask it  
CG: WHY?  
TG: ok  
TG: question incoming  
TG: jus rip it off like a band aid  
CG: ...  
TG: so  
TG: we are soulmates right  
TG: god that sounds so fuckin weird  
TG: ok  
TG: is it okay if i tell people about us???  
CG: ...  
CG: WAS THAT YOUR QUESTION?  
CG: IT TOOK YOU THAT LONG TO COME UP WITH THAT?  
CG: *SIGH*  
CG: YES  
CG: IT’S YOUR RIGHT TO TELL PEOPLE WHO YOUR SOULMATE IS. I DON’T SEE WHY YOU FELT THE NEED TO ASK ME.  
TG: well i didnt know if youd be ok with people knowing  
CG: ITS NOT LIKE I HAD A PROBLEM WITH IT BEFORE...  
CG: FOR GODS SAKE DAVE, HALF THE FUCKING SCHOOL KNOWS BECAUSE OF EGBERT.  
TG: oh  
TG: kay then  
CG: IS THAT IT?  
TG: yeah  
TG: i guess  
CG: OK THEN,  
CG: SEE YOU TOMORROW.  
TG: yea  
TG: see ya  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 8:49 --

Wow.

WOW.

You’re actually smiling right now. Why are you smiling? Okay. Chill there Dave. You have permission now, so you can tell John.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 8:51 --  
TG: sup john-o  
TG: i have an announcement  
EB: yeah, me too.  
TG: you go first bro  
EB: ok.  
EB: look dave, I’m really sorry about the way I acted.  
EB: like really really sorry.  
EB: i took my frustrations out on you and i feel reeeeeeeeally bad. do you think you could forgive me?  
TG: dude  
TG: i forgave you like ten hours ago  
EB: sweet ;B  
EB: what were you going to announce?  
TG: i know who my soulmate is  
EB: :O  
EB: you and karkat talked?  
TG: yeah  
TG: well no  
TG: we havent really talked about the fact we are soulmates but  
TG: we talked  
EB: that’s so exciting!!  
TG: yeah  
TG: well now that thats over with  
TG: wanna hang out tomorrow???  
TG: you could show me that game you got  
EB: oh yeah! i haven’t told you about SBURB yet  
EB: it’s so great!  
EB: ok well. i’ll see you tomorrow, i’ll bring the game over to your house.  
TG: k  
TG: ttyt  
EB: oh! dave!  
EB: you should bring karkat too :B  
TG: you sure???  
EB: yeah, we’ll have a blast.  
TG: k goodnight  
EB: goodnight dave.  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 9:07 --

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:07 --  
TG: you are cordially invited to hang out tomorrow with me and egbutt  
TG: im not sure if its mandatory or not  
TG: youll have to take that up with john  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:09 --

There, now all you have to do is tell your family...but that’s gunna have to wait until tomorrow, you’re too tired for another round of that shit.  
So you shut down your computer, turn off your lamp, and get comfy under the covers.

Hahaha, oh Dave...you crack me up. You may be tired, but that doesn’t mean you’ll sleep.


	12. Dave's Dick Jokes

You’ve seen Karkat in the hall a total of 2 times now.  
  
The first time was between second and third period. He was with that group of kids standing in the middle of the hall. The only (or the easiest) way around them was past Karkat.  
You passed him like you did once before. You smirked as you repeated the same phrase.  
“Sorry shorty, just passin’ through.”  
He glared at you while you walked backwards. You couldn’t help the smile that slipped past your coolkid smirk.

The second time happened while walking from the lunchroom on your way to photography. You spotted him at his locker with Sollux standing next to him. They were arguing so you didn’t intrude.

Then Karkat comes into your gym class. Well, actually his whole class does. Apparently, Karkat has photography.  
You did that assignment last hour, so you know why they’re here. Ms. Megido is going over taking pictures with motion in them. And what better place to do that other than the gym?

You cringe as you realize you’re not wearing your shades. Great. You wish Cronus would just let you wear them. But then again, they would probably just fall off while you’re moving around anyways. Saves you the trouble of bending down about a thousand times.

Thankfully you hang out with a few of the guys in your class so you don’t look like a complete loner. They call themselves the Midnight Crew. It sounds kinda of lame, and it probably is.  
You are currently playing a game of two on two with them, while the rest of the class is doing whatever the fuck they want.  
Or you guess that’s what they’re doing since Mr. Daddy-O has gone outside the gym with the photography teacher.

“Dave! C’mon pay attention man.”  
“My bad, hey pass it!”  
You make like three shots in a row and you feel proud of yourself.  
The leader of the Midnight Crew (god that sounds so lame) stops the game to run over to the gym’s sound system. Since Cronus is out of sight, it really doesn’t matter.  
Soon, the speakers are all blaring...oh lord.  
“Dude, seriously?” You exclaim.  
“Yeah, what’s wrong with Maroon 5?”  
You crinkle your nose and walk over to the idiot. You glare at him while you push the stop button, and type in a playlist on Cronus’ IPad.  
A familiar rock song echoes throughout the gym. That song being Eye of the Tiger, followed by cheers from the class. You grin to yourself.

The game begins again and you try to not look at Karkat. The whole class is bouncing to the beat and it’s kind of beautiful.  
“Dave, look at the camera!” Comes Feferi’s voice. She’s on one knee trying to get the best shot. Oh god, she’s got the most serious face.  
“Lighten up Fef, photography is suppose ta’ be fun.”  
You feel it. You don’t know how or why...but you can feel Karkat’s gaze on the side of your head. The urge to look at him becomes too muc-NO! Dave, you can resist. You can do this.  
  
You take a moment to walk over to Feferi. You need a distraction...now.  
“Can I see yer shots?”  
“Uh, yeah sure!” She hands you her camera and you flip through them.  
“The focus is good, exposure...good, what I would change is the proportions. Are ya’ following rule of thirds?”  
“I’m trying but everyone keeps moving so fast.”  
“I see. Ya’ want my advice?”  
“Sure.” She smiles brightly.  
“Try movin’ the camera in the same direction as the subject. That will blur the background and hopefully keep the subject in focus.”  
“Oh...wow. That makes so much sense! Thank you Dave, here...start playing again. I’ll try it out.”  
You go on with your game, making two baskets and missing one. All in all, you only looked at Karkat once (he was looking too) and Feferi’s pictures turned out way better than you imagined.

Tavros is back in school, to your surprise. He’s sitting in his usual spot, but without the stiff metal chair. Instead, he’s sitting in a wheelchair that makes him seem entirely too small.  
“Sup Nitram.”  
“Nothing much, just trying to move around without getting stepped on.”  
“That sucks. Maybe we should get you a horn, just honk when people get in your way.”  
“A bit obnoxious don’t you think?”  
“Maybe, but still...a cool idea.”  
Mrs. Paint gives another lecture about the plans for the quarter.

Tavros taps you on the shoulder, shoving his phone in your hand.  
  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began a memo THE PLAN at 1:33 --  
ectoBiologist [EG] joined the memo  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined the memo  
CG: NICE TITLE, YOU COME UP WITH THAT ALL ON YOUR OWN?  
adiosToreador [AT] joined the memo  
AT: hELLO?  
EG: hey tavros! can we speak to dave?  
AT: yEAH SURE.  
AT: sUP GUYS.  
AT: wHOA  
AT: hOW DO YOU SWITCH OFF THIS FUCKING QUIRK  
AT: oh  
AT: there we go  
EG: alright...are you two ready to have the craziest, most awesomest afternoon of your lives?  
CG: I DON’T THINK AWESOMEST IS A WORD.  
CG: ACTUALLY...I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT ISN’T A FUCKING WORD.  
AT: the question is  
AT: are YOU ready john??  
EG: i was born ready dave, don’t even tast me.  
EG: test*  
AT: yeah id rather not “tast” you  
CG: OK CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS PLEASE  
CG: MY BRAIN IS GOING TO EXPLODE IF I SPEND ANOTHER MINUTE WITH YOU TWO  
AT: well technically  
AT: youre not WITH us  
AT: also you better make it quick john  
AT: karkats got 45 more seconds until self detonation  
EG: ok so. we are going to meet outside the school, by the benches.  
EG: then we are going to walk to my house (dave you can drop your shit off first).  
EG: and THEN...  
EG: *whispers incoherently*  
AT: im confused  
AT: what are we doing  
CG: APARENTLY “incoherently”  
AT: thats a first for me  
AT: never done that  
EG: guuuuuuuuys, it’s a surprise!  
CG: THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MEMO FOR?  
CG: JUST TO TELL US ABOUT SOMETHING WE’RE NOT SUPPOSE TO KNOW YET?  
EG: yes hehe  
CG: DON’T “hehe” ME YOU LAME EXCUSE FOR A FRIEND.  
AT: your insults are lacking karkat  
AT: you need to step up your game  
CG: WHAT??  
AT: hey john  
AT: i bet you were born on the highway  
AT: cause thats where most accidents happen  
AT: you wanna know why you can never get a date??  
AT: because word around the grapevine says that your teeth give dicks skid marks  
EG: i’m not a homosexual dave.  
AT: yes  
AT: but im still implying it  
EG: are you done?  
AT: no not quite  
AT: i bet you wear those big glasses to compensate  
EG: ???  
EG: compensate for what?  
EG: dave??  
EG: you should really finish your jokes.  
CG: HE’S SAYING YOU HAVE A SMALL PENIS.  
CG: HE’S MAKING DICK JOKES NOW I SUPPOSE...  
AT: tavbros phone is almost dead  
AT: so unfortunately  
AT: you guys will have to survive without me  
CG: OH HOW WILL WE EVER MANAGE?  
AT: jus take it one day at a time  
AT: and maybe  
AT: just maybe  
AT: you will not fall into a pit of daveless depression  
EG: okay there drama queen, see you outside when class ends :B  
AT: see ya  
\-- adiosToreador [AT] exited the memo --

You hand Nitram his device and look back at Karkat. He’s glaring at you with his cheek on his palm and his phone in the other. But his glare looks like he’s trying not to smile, and that makes your lips quirk up just the slightest bit.


	13. Not Just Dave

Turns out, John brought you and Karkat to the park, where you two were bombarded with water balloons and whips of pressurized water.  
“Holy fucking shit John!”  
“Dude, wha-what the fuck?” You shield yourself from Eridan’s water gun. John has acquired himself a slingshot and is now pelting Karkat with balloons. You use your arms like swords and try to slice the balloons away from him, you can’t do much about the bullets of water. Your sister is even in on the action, with a full on water shot-gun.  
“John, what ever happened to showin’ me that game?”  
“Hahaha! This is much more entertaining.”  
“Ah FUCK!” Karkat exclaims, you laugh as he wipes his face in vain.  
You tackle Sollux, who seems to have two pistols. You win the little scuffle, and end up with one of those.  
With a half full water-zine, you shoot at John’s face and more specifically...his glasses. You retreat to cover and assess the situation.  
Eridan’s sniper gun is almost empty, John’s running out of balloons, Karkat is dodging everyone's ammunition, and it looks as though he’s ready to pounce on Terezi, who’s carrying some kind of machine gun...also almost out. Okay, your shot is opening up. You’re planning to shoot everyone in the face at least once. All 10 of ‘em. Karkat included, just for irony’s sake. If anything, it looks like he’s smiling while he’s wrestling over Terezi’s weapon. 

John was right: this is much more entertaining than SPORE, or whatever that game was called.

You achieve your goal of shooting everyone in the face, and you take great pride in saying that you also hit your sister a total of five times. When it’s all said and done, everyone soaked to the bone and out of ammunition, you find yourselves laying on the ground. Well, except for Eridan, ‘cause he doesn’t want to get ‘dead grass’ all over him.  
Karkat is grinning up at the sky and you don’t know why you’re first instinct is to look at him. What the hell Dave?

For the second time since school started, you take a step back and just observe.

John is laying there looking up at the sky like he’s in love with it.  
Terezi is plucking single blades of grass up and tasting each one, before cringing and throwing it away. Your question is ‘why does she keep doing it?’  
Feferi and Nepeta are cuddling and giggling to themselves a few yards away from everyone. While Eridan and Sollux keep looking at each other and then quickly looking away once the other one notices. That’s so lame.  
Rose and Kanaya are sitting with their feet touching talking about something that requires a lot of animated gestures.  
Equius seems to be asleep.  
And Karkat is now gazing right at you. You smirk at him, receiving an eye roll in return.

You wish time would stop just for a second so you can have like ten minutes just to think. But, that’s not how it works, and no matter how much you wish there was a pause button, there isn’t.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started a memo DAKSIATKISSING--  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] joined the memo--  
EB: so that was fun! we should do it again soon.  
EB: wow i guess everyone’s busy.  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] joined the memo--  
TG: sup  
TG: uh  
TG: whered you get the idea to do that again???  
EB: it was totally fun dave, don’t even act like it wasn’t.  
TG: yeah  
TG: in the moment  
TG: do you know how fast my balls froze cause of this stupid august wind??  
TG: so fast john  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] joined the memo--  
TG: so fast  
CA: wwhats goin on?  
\--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined the memo--  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo--  
GA: Is This The Follow Up To Our Extravagant Afternoon?  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo--  
TA: 2up 2luts?  
TG: sup mr i cant even aim at a single target  
TG: like dude  
TG: i swiped that gun from you so fast it was like  
TG: ...  
TG: i dont even know what its like dude  
TG: thats how speechless i am  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined the memo--  
TA: yea well ii gue22 that2 ju2t not one of my abiiliitiie2  
CA: then wwhat are your abiiliitiie2?  
TA: dont mock me  
EB: ok wow this is getting way too out of hand  
TG: john this is your fault  
CG: WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS GOING ON?  
TA: kk, youre the only one ii know that u2e2 the word everloviing.  
TA:what doe2 that even mean?  
\--arsenicCatnip [AC] joined the memo--  
\--cuddlefishCuller [CC] joined the memo--  
EB: i made a mistake...  
\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined the memo--  
EB: i made a grave mistake...  
GA: John.  
GA: You Know What You Have To Do.  
TT: I think this is the wisest choice of action at this given moment.  
AC: :33 hello efuryone!  
\--centaurTesticle [CT] joined the memo--  
TG: whoa  
TG: whos centaur testicles????  
CT: Me  
AC: :33 oh cats equius.  
TA: ii dont even know what2 goiing on.  
EB: THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE A FOLLOW UP OF TODAY  
TG: whoa there karkat  
TG: did you change yer hair  
TG: looks a little better than it used to but not by much  
CG: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN DICKWAD?  
EB: wait...my hair only looks a ‘little better’ than karkats?  
CG: I DON’T SEE WHAT’S SO BAD WITH MY HAIR...  
TA: iit2 a me22 kk  
TA: beliieve me  
GA: I Second This Statement.  
CA: same  
TG: all those who think karkats hair looks horrible say i  
TA: ii  
CA: i  
GA: I  
AC: :33 i  
CT: I  
CC: 38D I  
TT: I  
TA: doe2 anyone el2e thiink terezii2 2ilence ii2 kiinda horriifyiing?  
GC: OH SORRY GUYS JUST OBS3RV1NG HOW HOP3L3SS 3V3RYON3 1S...  
GC: 4NYON3 3V3R TH1NK 4BOUT 3X1T1NG TH3 M3MO??????  
GC: M4YB3 TH4T WOULD H3LP SOM3 OF TH1S L4G  
TG: there is no lag tz  
GC: Y3S TH3R3 1S!  
TA: maybe you ju2t have a lame a22 computer.  
EB: OK!  
EB: LISTEN UP EVERYONE!  
EB: I, JOHN EGBERT, WANT TO CORDIALLY THANK EVERYONE FOR GOING ALONG WITH MY PRANK AGAINST DAVE AND KARKAT  
TG: dude  
TG: chill with the caps lock  
TG: youve got our attention  
EB: oh  
EB: ok  
EB: so  
EB: thanks for making today a great day everyone  
CG: WHY WAS YOUR ATTACK AIMED AT US?  
EB: i had a great time  
EB: because i thought it would be fun karkat  
AC: :33 and it paws, i had fun hiss afurnoon  
CT: Nepeta  
AC: :33 yes equihiss?  
CT: I think it’s time for bed  
CC: yea)( nep, youre makin a bunch of puns  
AC: :(( nooooooooooooooo  
CT: Yes.  
AC: >:(( no  
TG: oh my god  
TT: Not again guys, last time you literally lost your voicews.  
EB: oh my god really?  
TT: voices*  
GA: Rose, May We Speak In Private?  
TT: Sure Kanaya.  
TT: Got to go, ttyl. lol.  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] left the memo--  
\--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] left the memo--  
AC: :33 ok! ive decided im going to take a catnap  
AC: :33goodnight efuryone!  
\--arsenicCatnip [AC] left the memo--  
CC: yea)( I’m a little beat.  
CC: goodnight  
CA: swweet dreams fef  
CC: t)(anks eri  
\--cuddlefishCuller [CC] left the memo--  
\--centaurTesticles [CT] left the memo--  
TG: well  
TG: seems like the party is calmin down  
TG: im gunna hit the hay  
EB: yeah right.  
TG: ???  
EB: you’re probably gunna stay up and read comics and drink apple juice till you have to pee every fifteen minutes  
TG: lmao  
TG: you just described my current situation  
TG: bravo bro  
CA: wwell if thats it i guess this wwas kinda pointless  
EB: what do you mean pointless?  
CA: all you did wwas start a convversation betwween howwevver many fuckin people to thank us, and that took forty plus minutes to do  
CA: so yeah  
CA: it wwas fuckin pointless  
CA: you coulda just indivvidually thanked us and it probably wwouldvve taken you ten minutes tops  
TG: he has a point  
EB: yeah I guess I could’ve done that, but it takes the fun out of it >:B  
CG: AMPORAS RIGHT JOHN  
CG: THIS WAS USELESS  
TA: agreed  
EB: well i’m sorry! I just wanted to formally thank everyone...  
TG: its aight man i forgive you  
EB: thanks best friend  
TG: no probs best friend  
TA: you guy2 are 2o chee2y  
CA: wwhats up wwith the fuckin title of this thing  
CA: did you just start typing a bunch of random letters and then change your mind to ‘kissing’?  
EB: huh?  
CG: THE TITLE ASSMUNCH  
CG: ‘DAKSIATKISSING’  
EB: oooooooh  
EB: ha  
EB: no  
EB: >:B  
EB: it stands for  
EB: wait for it...  
EB: “DAVE AND KARKAT SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G”  
GC: GOOD ON3  
TG: wtf  
CG: ...  
CG: ...  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] left the memo--  
CG: JOHN...  
GC: OH SH1T H3S 4BOUT TO FL1P H1S SH1T  
\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] left the memo--  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT  
CG: JOHN  
CG: MY SHIT WILL REMAIN UNFLIPPED  
CG: JUST KNOW WHAT IF I EVER MEET ANOTHER KID I HATE MORE THAN YOU, IT WILL BE A MIRACLE  
CG: SO MUCH OF A MIRACLE THAT I WILL SEE LIGHT SO BRIGHT GC WILL HAVE TO WALK ME AROUND SO I DONT BUMP INTO SHIT.  
CA: i think its a fitting title considering  
CG: CONSIDERING WHAT FISHFACE?  
CA: considering that that wwhole prank wwas for you and davve  
CA: also i dont havve a fish face  
CA: you crabby motherfucker  
TG: yeah  
TG: yknow what  
TG: im super freakin tired  
TG: yknow  
TG: from the physically tiring day that has unfolded thus far  
TG: so im gunna step out...  
TG: before anything else goes wrong  
CA: pussy  
TG: shut up fishface  
CA: i dont havve a fuckin fish face!  
CG: HA!  
EB: goodnight dave!  
TG: sweet dreams cowboys  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] left the memo--

Damn, it is an understatement to say ‘you’re drained’. You are so tired right now and you don’t even know why. You probably weren’t lying when you said it’s been a physically tiring day. Maybe your subconscious was like ‘hey, its been a physically tiring day so get outta there’ and then your brain was too tired to come up with a different excuse and so it used that.

Yeah...

You’re really tired.


	14. Dave Needs A Drink Of Water

Lunch was a mess on Thursday.

A complete and utter...mess.

You want to know why Thursday’s lunch was a complete and utter mess?

I’ll tell you why Thursday’s lunch was a complete and utter mess...

Overcrowding.

So I guess that stunt John pulled yesterday brought everyone together and now I guess you’re all friends, which...in turn...means you have to sit up everyone else's asses while eating chicken fried steak and pineapple chunks.  
It’s a round table, with about ten chairs...and you want to know how many people were sitting there? You really want to know?  
I’ll just list ‘em all off.

There’s you, John, Jade (who is now back in the picture but you don’t really know her roll), Karkat, Tavros, Sollux, Terezi, Equius, Nepeta, Feferi, and Eridan.  
Rose took the smart decision and leapt over to Kanaya’s table.  
You wish you could be with the four girls. There’s your sister, Kanaya, Aradia (from music class), and the other girl from music class with long fluffy hair and...wait...is that...a robotic arm? What the actual fuck. Yknow what...it’s public school Dave, get over it.

“Dave! Pay attention, this is important.”  
You’re snapped back into the conversation at hand. John goes on about another movie night that he invited everyone to. You contemplate not going, but you kind of want to go. You haven’t been to one of John’s movie nights since before school started. That’s a lot of people though, especially if your brother comes and Roxy. Oh god what if Roxy brings booze again?  
“I don’t think thith ith a good idea John, that’th a lot of people.”  
“Yeah! It’s gunna be so fun though! I already asked my dad, and he got the bean bag chairs out from under the house. Dave, don’t give me that look.”  
“What look?” you hold up your hands.  
“You’re going or I’m shitting on your laptop again.”  
“Oh my god, yer so gross.”  
He chuckles, “And you’re so going.”  
“Again?” Eridan winces.  
You can’t help the look of disgust on your face. You shiver, thinking back on the memory (more like nightmare).  
“Dave, are you bringing your brother?”  
“Dude, don’t you have enough people?”  
“No, invite Dirk or-”  
“Or you’ll shit on my laptop. Got it you fuckin’ heathen.”

* * *

 “Ok, before we move onto the lessons, I want to see where everyone is. So I’m going to hand out these index cards and you’re going to write what songs you can play or sing. Make sure you put which instrument you’re using.”

You fill up the index card, but you’re a little iffy on some of those songs you haven’t practiced in a while.  
Five minutes later, Mrs. Paint is writing the classes names on the front board along with a random song off their index cards. Great.

Eridan A        Death Of A Bachelor PATD  
Sollux C        I’ve Gotta Be Me Ryan Tedder  
Rose L          Control Halsey  
Nepeta L       My Heart Will Go On -piano  
Gamzee M    Gotta Be Somebody Nickelback  
Kanaya M      Lost Boy -guitar  
Aradia M       E.T. Katy Perry  
Tavros N       The Reason Chase Holfelder  
Feferi P         Into You Ariana G  
Vriska S        Miss Independent Kelly Clarkson  
Dave S          Tiny Glowing Screens Part 2 Watsky  
Karkat V       Crutch Set It Off

You never knew Eridan could reach those notes. He almost sounds exactly like Brendon Urie, but not quite. Impressive. He smiles through his performance...the asshole knows he can sing.  
Sollux can hit some high notes too, dang. He seems shy, which is kinda ironic considering the song seems to keep repeating “I’ve gotta be me”. Unless Captor is a shy kind of guy, but you doubt it. Maybe it’s that his soulmate is staring intently at him with a weird look.  
Rose is a little overly-sassy and she keeps looking behind you. You’ve heard her sing countless times so you’re not that blown away. So while she’s singing you wonder what Karkat is gonna sound like.  
Nepeta’s piano almost puts you to sleep, but you consider that a compliment. It wasn’t as boring as the actual song, which put you to sleep entirely.  
You respect Gamzee’s voice. He doesn’t seem shy at all. If anything, he’s smirking through the whole thing. His voice is really gravely and low.  
Kanaya’s elegant fingers caress those strings so delicately, you don’t even think she’s touching ‘em. Her eyebrows crease through the whole thing. She must be very concentrated.  
Aradia actually looks like Katy Perry. Did she do that on purpose? She even sounds exactly like her. Weird. You’re not entirely sure Aradia isn’t actually Katy.  
Tavros shakes as he’s handed the microphone. And you motion to him to raise his voice when he sings. You’ve helped him with his vocal range over the past two weeks, nothing much but you think it’s helped a lot. You’re proud he could hit almost every high note.  
Feferi actually dances while she sings. You know how hard that is, so you give her major props. God why is everyone so good at hitting high notes?  
Vriska, the one who sits with Kanaya and Aradia, looks like the coolest person you’ve seen (besides yourself). She kind of sounds like Christina Aguilera along with Kelly.  
Oh shit it’s your turn isn’t it? Okay.  
You sit down at the piano and clear your throat, readjusting the microphone. You feel Karkat’s eyes on you. Well, I mean...everyone’s eyes are on you, but you can FEEL his eyes. That’s really weird isn’t it?  
The song is kinda of sad but you still rap it. not like Paint would let you change songs anyways. She’s always liked this one.  
When you finish the song that’s burned into the back of your skull, you shake your hands out. You haven’t played piano in a while. (Thank god for muscle memory!)  
You sit down in your seat, sighing. You watch as Karkat slouches up to the stage. Oh my god. Karkat...is about to sing. And you’re gunna hear it...  
Biting your lip, you think about what he might sound like. He might even sound bad, you don’t know. His demeanor changes once he’s handed the mic. Holy shit, he looks attractive when he does that.  
Stop it. Stop it right now. You’re not suppose to be thinking that. Well...he is your soulmate. Is there some kind of involuntary attraction to your soulmate? _Later google, me and you are gunna have a talk._  
The music starts and you shut your mind up.  
  
It’s almost like a trance. you can’t look away from him, and you can’t think of anything other than his voice. Jesus Christ. He sounds...amazing. It’s gravely, but not like Gamzee’s, breathy? Is that the right word? You can’t even describe it.  
Dave. Snap out of it.  
_I cant_  
Try  
_I’m fucking trying._  
Oh god he just looked right at you. Why is that furrow in his brow so...hot? You need some water or something ‘cause this is fuckin’ ridiculous.  
When the music falters out, you swallow thickly. Everyone claps, are you clapping? You can’t tell. You’re kind of shocked right now.  
Karkat walks back to his seat and you stare straight ahead. What are you suppose to be thinking right now?

You just heard him sing Dave, it’s not like he took off his shirt! Sober up, Jesus.

The rest of class was spent staring at one spot on the board with the words “Karkat V” scribbled messily in Paint’s handwriting.


	15. Dave Counseling

To get yourself out of your head, you get in an argument with John about what movies he’s going to play tomorrow. It distracts you from Karkat, who is walking not far behind you guys, along with a certain lispy nerd. You’ve learned that Sollux and Karkat have been best friends for years. They only recently moved here, like ‘week before school started’ recently.  
_Go figure._  
Sollux doesn’t permanently live down Prospit, it’s hard to explain. You got confused when John explained it to you, but it involves a lot of website programming and hacking. John said Sollux’s dad works as the driver for the states governess so he hears a lot of inside shit. Anyways, his family has houses all over the city, and the one right next to Karkat’s is just one of many.

But let’s just take a look at your current predicament shall we? John’s taste is absolute shit when it comes to movies, and the fact that he’s hosting a movie party concerns you.  
You’re actually too busy yelling at your friend to notice that Karkat and Sollux went down Prospit.  
You argue with John until you come upon your house, which...the door’s wide open...  
“Whoa, did you’re house get broken into?”  
“Nah, probably jus’ Dirk havin’ a freak out. He’s probably out back slashing through the dummies.”  
“Well, I’ll let you deal with your brother’s soulmate shit...if that’s what it is this time.”  
“Yeah, see ya’.”  
After John stalks off, you make your way up the front steps. Wearily, I might add. You actually don’t know if it’s Dirk, he doesn’t get off until like 7. Unless he hauled ass home again.  
“Dirk?” You step through the threshold. Nothing’s out of place, except for the backpack sitting against the wall. It’s Roses...how the hell did she make it home before you?  
“Rose?”  
“Yeah?” The sound of clinking glasses can be heard from the kitchen. She rounds the corner with a sad smirk on her face.  
“When’dya get home?”  
“’Bout fifteen minutes ‘go. Gotta' ride from Kanaya.”  
She goes back into the kitchen an you follow. You see her slide down the cupboards to sit on the floor, clutching her favorite strawberry vodka. She’s looking at the other side of the kitchen blankly.   
“I kissed her.”  
Why would she be so worked up about that? You sit next to her, hoping she’ll say more. You haven’t really talked with Rose since...since like the middle of summer when you and her got really...really drunk. But it’s not like you can remember much, it’s all a blur of laughing your asses off at the T.V. and crying over some movie.  
She doesn’t say anything more. “What’s wrong with kissing Kanaya?”  
“She’s not my soulmate.”  
“But you haven’t met your soulmate, it’s not like you’re cheating on ‘em if you don’t know ‘em...”  
“I’ll never know ‘em,” She takes a long swig. You give you a questioning eyebrow, then take off your shades so she can see more clearly.  
“What do ya’ mean?”  
She looks over at you with the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen. She tips the bottle back a few times and then sets it on the floor. She leans away from you and pulls her sleeve up to her elbow.  
You have to kink your neck a little to see but once you do...  
“I’ll never meet ‘em.” She looks down at the tattoo with sadness. It’s weathered and crossed out.

~~You seem to be in need of a dance partner.~~

“Think it hurts when it appears? It was like someone took a knife to it, slowly dragging it ‘cross my skin.”  
She laughs and shakes her head.  
“So...”  
“He’s dead...or she. I’ll never really know.” She gulps down more vodka. Jeez.  
“What did you say to Kanaya?”  
“Nothin, she knows nothin’, an’ she’s gunna keep knowin’ nothin’.”  
“Do you like her?”  
“Yes.”  
“Does she like you?”  
“Yeah...”  
“Then start somethin’.”  
“Easier said than done, Dave.”  
“Getting what you want ain’t s’pose to be easy.”  
“What if t’s not what she wants?”  
“You’ll never know if you don’t ask.”  
“What if t’s not what I want?”  
“Then why are you so worked up over a kiss?”  
She lets out a long sigh. “I don’t know...I just...I don’t know.”  
“If you think it’s still a bad idea when you sober up, then don’t do it. But still consider it. You’ve been miserable for long enough, you need somethin’ ta’ cheer ya’ up.”  
“Yeah...I guess.”

You mention to Dirk that John’s having another movie night. You’re guessing John told Rose to tell Roxy, like always. But since the former seems to be too intoxicated to do so, you wait for Roxy to come home. You tire of waiting and leave a sticky note on her door.  
Slipping into your room, you sigh and flop onto your bed. Whatta’ day huh? After ten minutes of relaxing, you open up your laptop (glad that it is clean and not full of shit) and sign on. You are bombarded with pings. _Oh god, another group memo?_

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started a memo Movie Night Group A--  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] joined the memo--  
\--adiosToreador [AT] joined the memo--  
\--gallowsCalibrater [GC] joined the memo--  
GC: WH4TS TH1S???  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo--  
\--carcnioGenesticist [CG] joined the memo--  
TA: ii thought we already talked about moviie niight  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] joined the memo--  
AT: i GUESS THIS IS FOR THE DETAILS???  
CG: GROUP A?  
EB: yeah i thought i’d split it up this time.  
EB: last time it was sort of chaotic.  
GC: SORT OF?  
\--tipsyGnostalgic [TG] joined the memo--  
TG: sup dudes  
TG: whats goin on  
CG: WAIT...DAVE?  
TG: lmao nah this is his older sister :3  
EB: rox, please don’t bring booze again. it was a nightmare last time.  
TG: Yeah, and guess who had to it clean up ;D lol  
EB: speaking of dave...where is he?  
TT: Currently in his room, I heard a thunk so he probably hit a wall or somethin’. Teenagers.  
EB: ???  
TT: Came home and him and Rose were just sittin on the kitchen floor.  
TT: Tension in the Strilonde house, don’t question it.  
GC: 4WWWW 1S D4V3 B31NG 3DGY?  
TT: Very.  
AT: iS HE OKAY?  
TT: Yeah, he’s fine. Haven’t really talked to him in a while.  
EB: oh yeah! how's that soulmate thing going?  
TG: yeah dirk...hows that goin for you?  
TT: Is there a point to this memo or am I allowed to leave?  
EB: no! you have to stay. dave just needs to get his ass on here.  
TA: thii2 ii2 boriing  
EB: i know. dirk can’t you go like...knock on his door or something?  
TT: I’d rather not bro.  
EB: why?  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] joined the memo--  
GC: F1N4LLY!  
EB: jesus dave, what took you so long?  
AT: hI DAVE!  
EB: ???  
TT: He’s probably reading all the messages.  
EB: oh yeah. we kinda blew up his messages didn’t we?  
TG: ya sure did  
TG: sup dave  
TG: i left a note on your door about johns party but you kinda already know about it apparently  
TG: where are you anyways???  
TG: sleeping in a dorm  
TG: class got out late fml  
CG: OK THIS IS REALLY CONFUSING ON WHOS TALKING HERE  
EB: can you guys do the tag thing please?  
TG: oh rite! -r  
TG: sure thing bro -d  
TG: kinda sucks that the colors dont work in memos -d  
TG: yeah, then we wouldnt havta do this -r  
EB: okay so.  
EB: movie night is tomorrow  
EB: and dave has convinced me to change it up a bit  
TG: fuck yea  
TG: -d  
EB: everyone is to bring ONE movie of their choice  
EB: then we are going to put them in a bag and draw.  
TA: how many people are comiing??  
EB: uhhhh, 15 i think  
TA: how many moviie2 are we goiing two watch??  
EB: we’re gunna keep drawing until everyone falls asleep and there’s no one to draw more.  
GC: OK WH4T 4BOUT SN4CKS?  
TG: hahaha -r  
TG: oh god rox please no not again -d  
TG: why not?  
TG: because last time was horrible and scarring -d  
EB: no booze! snacks!  
GC: 1 M34N...1T COULDN’T H4V3 B33N TH4T B4D...COULD 1T?  
TT: Dave started sobbing when we ran out of apple juice.  
TG: to be fair  
TG: i probably wouldve started sobbing even if i wasnt wasted -d  
AT: iF I REMEBER CORRECTLY...jOHN RIPPED HIS CHANDILER OUT OF THE CIELING...  
EB: i thought i told everyone to never speak of that!  
GC: TH4T SOUNDS FUN!  
TG: it was -r  
EB: OMG NO BOOZE!!!!  
TG: why does john keep transforming into karkat  
TG: guys  
TG: johns actually a shape shifter  
TT: Who’s Karkat?  
CG: I’M KARKAT.  
EB: oh yeah shit, we should all introduce ourselves. there’s some new people.  
GC: T3R3Z1 H3R3, BL1ND G1RL W1TH TH3 W1T 4S SH4RP 4S H3R T33TH  
TA: 2ollux, lii2py hacker  
CG: KARKAT. YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.  
EB: dirk?  
TT: What?  
EB: introduce yourself  
TT: Why? Everyone already knows me...  
EB: not everyone  
TT: Oh my god fine.  
TT: Dirk. Dave’s guardian and brother, as well as master katana wielder.  
TG: *laughs*  
TT: You got somethin’ to say?  
TG: fyi you suck at wielding katanas  
TG: you just sit there slash at anythin in sight  
EB: tags  
TG: oh sry -r  
TT: Do you want to duel?  
TG: bring it on :3 -r  
TG: im done -d  
TG: can i go now -d  
EB: yeah just bring one movie tomorrow.  
EB: everyone: bring the snacks of your choice.  
EB: i only have popcorn and root beer  
EB: we’ll probably order pizza  
TG: sweet -d  
TG: see ya -d  
EB: goodnight dave  
\--turntechGodhead left the memo--

You turn off your computer, ready to lay down and let sleep take you. It doesn’t take you as quick as you’d like. You lay there for what seems like an hour thinking back on what Rose said...or more importantly, what you said. No, why would you think about what you said? You’re not holding yourself back from something you want. You don’t want to have a relationship with Karkat...but now that you lay it all out in front of yourself...are you holding yourself back from something you don’t think you want, but do? I mean...look back at how you reacted to Karkat singing...or how nervous you get when you see him.  
Your brain hurts, just go to sleep already. Jeez.

_We'll think about this when you sort things out with Rose._


	16. The Chronicles Of Dumb And Dave

You almost don’t have enough strength to drag your sorry ass out of bed. You just want to stay under your heavy down comforter. As you’re laying there however, legs hot and chest exposed to the cold ass air of your room, you listen to the birds singing through your open window. Everything else is quiet but the small howl of the breeze and those repetitive winged creatures.  
The sun seems to be just above the horizon, which means the frost is still clinging to shit. You like when everything is like this. Yet another example of when you wish you could freeze time...or maybe even go back in time to this moment when you’re in a shitty situation.  
But, alas, you are not the fucker of time. Therefore, you do not fuck with time.

You lean against the counter in the kitchen while drinking a small container of apple juice. It’s icy-cold so it wakes you up more than a cup of coffee probably would.  
“Mornin’ lil’ bro.”  
“Mornin’,” you repeat. You and your brother lean against the counter for what seems like ten minutes before Rose makes her merry way over the the coffee maker. You watch as she stops herself, turns to a different cupboard, and grabs something that looks a lot like a tea bag. Since when does Rose Lalonde drink tea for breakfast?  
“Since when does Rose Lalonde drink tea for breakfast?”  
“Since nun’ya.” Her hair looks absolutely hideous.  
“Yer hair looks absolutely hideous.”  
“My-my, don’t you do have a way with words Dave Strider.”  
“Are you swooning yet?”  
“I am forever swooned.” She lights the burner under the kettle.

You spend a good chunk of time on your hair (which includes shaving), a little less packing for John’s, and a little less than that for your wardrobe. Before you get a ride to school, you pick your movie off the shelf: The Princess Bride. You particularly enjoy this film for its complex plot and witty dialogue.

When you arrive, you sit in Dirks truck for a few extra seconds. You don’t know why. Dirk gives you a lifted eyebrow but doesn’t question it further.  
You jump down from Cal (the name of Dirk’s truck: newly established) and pull your backpack higher up your shoulder. This is either gunna be a long ass day, or the shortest in eternity.  
  
“Howdy coolkid.” Jade waves excitedly.  
Head nod.  
“Thank god he’th not in a talkative mood.”  
“I could be, jus’ ta’ spite you.” You smirk.  
Sollux glares. “Athhole.”  
“Do you have your movie?” John asks.  
You hold up your choice, and he grimaces.  
“The shit is wrong with Princess Bride dude, it’s like the wittiest movie in existence.”  
“I know, it’s just...you bring that movie every time.”  
“So what, it’s cool,” you shrug. “Do you want me to ask what movie you’ve chosen?”  
“...”  
“Hypocrite.”  
“Con air is amazing though! It’s waaaaaaaay better than Princess Bride.”  
“We’re not gettin’ into this argument again, it’s too fuckin’ early.”  
You unconsciously look over at Karkat, who is standing there, short as ever, glaring at you.  
“What are you looking at dumbass?”  
“You’ve got some nasty bed head there Karkitty.” Then you turn and go into the school, eager to get off your feet and get your head onto a desk. You wish you could’ve slept longer.  
  
Your classes went by relatively slow, but not too slow. The teachers kept you busy, but not too busy. And you paid attention, but not too much attention. It was just another Friday.

In music class, Mrs. Paint handed out her notes on how to improve on the same index cards you filled out yesterday. On yours she wrote, “try variety!”. You laid your head down on the desk, hoping to get at least a small catnap before John’s hectic night begins.  
You feel the hand before you hear the voice, even though the voice came first. You think you heard it but didn’t register that you heard it and then when it was appointed that it was meant to be heard, you finally heard it. Wow...you don’t even know what you just thought.  
“Dave?”  
“Hm?” It’s Karkat, and he’s standing in front of you with his arms crossed. and that weird furrowed brow.  
“I said are you okay?”  
“Jus’ a little tired.”  
Tavros looks over, “When did you go to sleep?”  
“’Bout an hour after I left the memo.”  
“Why? What took you so long to fall asleep.”  
“Dunno dude, just turned out like that.”  
Karkat is looking at you quizzically.  
“What’s up?”  
“You’re a very bad liar despite your “cool” facade.”  
“I didn’t ask to be psycho-analyzed.”  
“Doesn’t matter, it doesn’t take a genius to tell you’re not on your a-game twenty-four-fucking-seven. I call bullshit.”  
“I call bullshit on your bullshit.”  
“That doesn’t even make sense.”  
“Exactly.”  
He looks at you like you’re the stupidest person he’s met. You probably are.  
“Whatever...” He sits back down in his seat, which is two rows behind you (you counted his steps).

Anyone would probably be a little intimidated to see a group of 14 teenagers parading down the sidewalk together. Especially an old grandma walking her weiner dogs, or a 3 foot middle school boy double-strappin’ it.  
You’re kinda already sick of people today, you just want to take a fuckin’ nap is all. John’s house is...odd. He’s still got his Christmas tree up from like, 2006. his grandmother’s urn has been broken so many times, there’s probably only 1/5 grandma and 4/5 chimney dust. He’s got weirdly patterned rugs that just confuse the fuck outta visitors. Like is that a trapdoor or a rug? Like is that a staircase leading to hell or a rug? Is that the floor or a rug? And those suckers are all over the place. Even on the stairs.  
Roxy was already there and had been there since noon, while Dirk arrives just a few minutes after you. Everyone’s movies are in the sack and the first pick was...

Drum roll please...


	17. The Chronicles of Dumb and Dave Pt. 2

The Aristocats. That was the first pick, and from the way Nepeta squealed and took front and center on the couch, you’d guess she brought it. Roxy was right next to her so you rethink that statement.  
The couch is a wrap around and could comfortably fit most of the group. Unfortunately, you were too slow and you got one of the dusty old bean bags on the floor. At least they were comfortable...

“Dave, c’mon dude it’s not even the second movie and you’re already falling asleep.” You raise your head from the bean bag. When did you curl up into a ball?  
The T.V. has credits rolling and most people are lined up at the bathroom door.  
You sit up and sigh, rubbing your tired face with your heavy hands. Your shades left painful indents on the side of your face...great.  
You quickly steal a seat in the middle of the couch. You’ve been to enough of John’s movie parties to know the popcorn is always held in the middle. So you sit next to Sollux, who is the designated cooked kernel holder.  
No one’s stopped the movie, so you do so.  
“Yo John," you call, "what’s the next movie?”  
“The Proposal! You want a soda?”  
“Yeah, what kinds ya got?”  
“Root bear, aaaaaaaand lemon lime.”  
“Any AJ?”  
You hear shuffling around in the kitchen, “Yeah actually.”  
“Sweet...” you mumble. You take the movie from the player and switch it for the new one. Ryan Reynolds is a good actor, and so is Sandra Bullock...“Who picked this one?”  
“That would be KK, he liketh romcomth.”  
“Why do you have to say it like that?” Karkat pipes up from the end of the couch. Whoa, was he there the whole time? Wow, he blends in.  
“Becauthe you’re jutht tho predictable.”  
“What do you people fucking want from me?”  
“I don’t know, maybe a better tathte in film media?”  
“As far as I remember, you watched Honey I Shrunk the Kids every night before bed for _months_ , just because you like the giant bug scene and the fact that the word ‘honey’ is in the title!” He slowly got louder and louder until he was yelling at the end. “Which...that isn’t even the right fucking context for the honey you’re thinking about, so I can’t even...begin to understand what you see in that movie. It’s immature and I’m quite honestly sick and tired of watching it thank you very fucking much...” He sighs. “I wouldn’t even be surprised if you brought it today...”  
“At leatht Honey I Shrunk the Kidth ithn’t a romcom...”  
“Oh my god you did...”  
“Well...what...what do you expect from me KK?”  
“I don’t know...maybe a better taste in movies!”  
“Touche.”  
John comes back with a tray of popcorn and cups. He hands you your apple juice like a waitress, balancing the tray on his arm.  
Once the movie’s all set up, you plop down next to the bowl of popcorn and munch until everyone gets done with their bathroom breaks.

Throughout the whole movie, you’re stuck between Eridan and Sollux, who keep looking at each other and then looking away. You finally had it once Eridan reached over for some popcorn and apparently the two touched hands and Eridan elbowed you in the chest while withdrawing his reach.  
“Jesus Christ you guys!” you stand up and glare down at them. You push Eridan closer to Sollux and then plop down on the other side of him. There.  
Now you’re stuck between the hipster and Feferi, who’s cuddling Nepeta, who’s cuddling Karkat.

The rest of the movie went by without any more distractions, thank god. When the credits start rolling, you and Feferi have a quick conversation about barn weddings, and when that is over, you realize that AJ went right through you and you need to pee. Now.  
Unfortunately, you could not wait for the long ass line outside the bathroom. Good thing John’s house is like a second home to you and you know there’s a second bathroom upstairs.

You open the door thinking no one is in there...but that is not the case. Before you’re angrily yelled at and thrown out, door slamming in your face, you catch a glimpse of something you don’t know how to process...

Multiple yellow-orange pill bottles sitting on the counter, open. The labels looked really complicated. What’s wrong with Karkat? Why does he need all those pills?  
You’re not even sure what he said to you. It was something about knocking, you’re pretty sure.

You contemplate whether to go back downstairs or not, but you really gotta pee, so you stay there. This is your best bet. You lean against the railing and think.  
Maybe they’re not his...maybe John’s dad left them out or something. You can’t imagine why Daddy Egbert would need prescription pills though.  
Maybe Karkat has like...medical problems.  
_Am I worried about someone I met like a week ago?_  
But he’s not just someone Dave...he’s your soulmate.  
_Why should I worry though? He seems fine to me._  
Mhm. Whatever you say.

Karkat exits the bathroom, now wearing sweatpants and a black hoodie. He glares at you, “It’s open. Next time, fucking knock. You‘re lucky I was decent.”  
You nod, not sure what you should say. He leaves without another word, and you go pee, noting that the pills are gone.

 

* * *

 

 “Dave! Tell this heathen that my choice is perfectly acceptable for a sleepover!” Dirk is throwing his arms all over the place when you come downstairs. John’s arms are crossed and he looks like he’s ready to burst into an angry rant.  
“What’s this ‘bout?”  
Oh god, John burst out into an angry rant right before your eyes.  
“Dave tell your brother that My Little Pony is stupid and we will not watch it! This is suppose to be a movie get-together, and Dirk brought T.V. shows! We’re not watching a thirty minute...thing!”  
“Dude...chill. Which one did you bring?” You ask Dirk.  
“The _movie_...?”  
You turn to your boiling friend, “John, it says it right in the title: it is indeed a full movie. And, yknow...you did say we could bring whatever movie we wanted.”  
“This is a joke right?”  
“Nah man, If we have to sit through Con Air again, you can sit through a little MLP. Stop bein’ a pussy bitch.”  
“Fuck you Dave.”  
“Buy me dinner first.”  
“There’s popcorn.”  
“Good point.”  
  
You’ve never seen Dirk so happy in his life. He gets to watch My Little Pony _and_  prove John wrong. Win-win for him. You wish you could say the same for yourself...you’re movie came out around three, when everyone was finally drifting off to sleep. But, even with the witty dialogue, you still couldn’t pay attention.  
No...your attention was elsewhere.

“Elsewhere” being the end of the couch.

“Elsewhere” being...well...you know who.


	18. Dave And Psycho-Dave

You don’t know when you fell asleep, but you know you’re not awake when you can’t read the words on the board. You also have to recount your fingers a total of 8 times. How is counting so confusing? Oh right, you’re dreaming...at least...you think you are.  
You’re in music class, it doesn’t look like music class but dreams aren’t suppose to make sense. All you know is that this is music class and you’re not alone. You can’t move anything but your eyes, and it’s...kind of...horrifying. There’s something in the room with you and the hairs on the back of your neck (and on your whole body for that matter) are all standing at attention. Guys, calm down...this isn’t the military. At ease.  
They do not ease.  
  
“Howdy Dave.” What...  
“I see you’ve finally joined us.” The...  
“Turn around why don’t cha’,” Fuck?  
Why...is your voice asking you to turn around?

You are slowly turned around in your chair, no thanks to your body...Or...totally thanks to your body.  
Once you’re completely turned around, all you can see is your face...that is very close.  
  
You try to talk, but its like a hum down low in your chest. Your body is tingly.  
“Awww, what’s wrong? Kitty got chur’ tongue?”  
He steps away and you’re left to see a very ugly sight. Is that...Karkat? No, it can’t be.

If it is, then he’s surely dead and you don’t know how to...accept that? The body in front of you is hanging from the ceiling from a chain. The handcuffs look like...what is that? The 69 sign? Um....  
From what you can tell, the body is cut open in multiple places. Not shallow cuts either. No. More like someone took fishing hooks, stabbed, and ripped.  
Stabbed and ripped.  
Shredded.  
There’s shreds of flesh.  
There’s so much blood. No this can’t be Karkat. It’s not even human-looking blood. It’s lighter, like a raspberry. If it were normal blood it would be dark and...oh my god what are you thinking. Stop analyzing it. Analyze how to get the fuck outta here you dimwit!

“You seem to be at a loss for words. Heh! You’re such a coward,” he...er... _you_ sneer at you. What the fuck is going on. This is a dream right?  
Right?  
“Dave...you’re next...” Whoa. No. Nononononono. Get that fucking psycho away from you. That’s not you. That’s...like a demented version of you...and younger. You look like...twelve. Fucking hell is this really happening?  
The room looks more like a metal box, you see orange light coming from the windows. In the back of your mind, you think ‘ _lava_ ’.  
Then Dirk is there...wait that was just you...why...is...his neck bleeding?  
“You’re gunna pay lil’ bro. You’re gunna pay...Dave...Dave...Dave!”

You are quite literally slapped out of your nightmare. Sending you into a mess of limbs and confusion. You can finally move, so you push away the form that is in front of you. Like previously mentioned, you want the _psycho_ you away from _not-psycho_ you.  
“Dave! Calm the fuck down!” Why is Dirk yelling?  
You slowly come to realize you are not, in fact, in the metal box with psycho you, and that you are actually on John’s living room floor. You search frantically for Karkat, who is standing right there and very much not in shreds. That makes you relax a bit.  
Sitting up, you assess the situation: Dirk just let go of your shoulders, John is sitting on the couch with his hands over his mouth, and everyone else is standing awkwardly around the living room.  
_What...was that?_  
“I don’t know kid, you tell me?”  
“I...” you look around at all the faces. Some look confused, and tired...but mostly...scared?  
  
Okay Dave, time to save your ass. (Don’t you wish you could time travel to yesterday morning? With all the birds chirping...and the nice breeze coming in through the window...yeah, you really wish you had that right now.) The sun seems to be just below the horizon, meaning the sky is still dark, but bright enough to see without lights.  
  
“Dave, are you...alright?” Rose comes to kneel wearily next to you.  
“Yeah? Just a nightmare guys, no need to get all motherly...jeez.” You let out a shaky breath. God damn it Dave, that’s definitely not selling it.  
Roxy also sits next to you, “Well, you kind of scared us glasses.”  
You give her a confused face, “I...what...did I do?”  
“Well...um. First, you were kind of...screaming? Really loud actually.”  
God that’s embarrassing. You want out of this situation. Like yesterday.  
“Fuck.”  
“Let’s go get you some AJ lil’ dude,” Dirk grabs your hand. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Your legs are thankfully only a little wobbly.  
You walk the walk of shame to the kitchen. God you’re extremely exhausted right now.

When you have the icy-cold beverage in between your hands, you lean against the counter and wish it was something softer.  
“You wanna tell me what that was?” He’s staring at you. When did he take off his shades? Wait. When did _you_ take off _your_ shades?  
“What’s the damage?” You take the first, refreshing sip of AJ.  
“You were kicking, punching, and screaming. I thought surely your throat would be raw.”  
“Oh god, did I sound like a little girl?” That’d be the worst.  
“No, it was...more like you were...I don’t even know Dave,” he puts his face in his hands. “You...how long?”  
“What?”  
“Don’t play dumb Dave, how long have you been having the nightmares?”  
“Uhh, this...was the first nightmare I’ve had in a while...why?”  
“Okay good.”  
“Dude, why’s everyone making a big deal out of this? It was just a nightmare.”  
Again with the face in hands, he must be very tired. “You were just...It really startled us kay?”  
You nod and finish off your cup. You’re done with this whole dilemma.

Everyone’s sitting back on the couch, heads leaning, some sleeping. You spot Karkat sitting in the armchair. He looks up when you enter. You still can’t get that shredded body out of your head.  
You curl up on one of the giant bean bags, blanket less. You face away from everyone and will yourself to go to sleep. You don’t dream of anything more. Thank fucking god.


	19. Dave's Ass

You woke up to the smell of cake. Groaning, you lift your head, noting that your neck has a sizable kink in it. Oh my god if you have to eat cake for breakfast again, you’re gunna rip your face off.  
“Good morning,” Rose sounds somewhere to your left.  
You open your eyes only to be blinded by the light coming through the window.  
“Holy Christ...shades please?” She sets them in your hand and you slide them on.  
“John’s dad made breakfast.” _Goodbye face._  
“Yeah I can smell it....yum...”  
“I know right. When’s the last time we ever ate a decent breakfast here?”  
“When’s the last time we ever ate a decent meal here?”  
“You have a point.”

When you enter the kitchen, Mr. Egbert gives you a choice of chocolate fudge, birthday cake, or carrot cake. You choose the last one. At least it’s better than birthday cake.  
Everyone seems to be back to normal: joking, laughing, arguing, fighting. You sit on the counter, chatting with your sister and her soon-to-be girlfriend. How do you know they’re soon-to-be? Because of all the elbowing and brushing up against each other. It’s painful watching them. Rose likes her, she likes Rose...why can’t they just...do it already? Jeez.

People trickle out of John’s house throughout the day, going on with their Saturday. You should probably do that, or you can procrastinate until your siblings leave, then you can bum a ride. Yeah, that’s what you’ll do. It’s not like you actually have to do things anyways.  
  
So it’s two in the afternoon, and you really need a shower at this point. There’s only 7 of you left: John, you, Rose, Dirk, Roxy, Terezi, and Vriska. _Karkat and Sollux probably left together._  
“Hey coolkid, what’s the sitch?” Terezi is leaning on her cane.  
“I don’t know what that means...”  
Vriska crosses her arms, “She’s asking what you’re doing after this. Like ‘what’s up’, but...Terezi just can’t seem to let things be simple.”  
“You know it, so ‘what’s up’ Dave?” She does quotations dramatically.  
“Uhhh, not really anythin’. Just gunna chill at home. Why?”  
“Oh...nothing. Just wondered if you’re looking for a job...” She says suggestively.  
“Wait what? No! Not him...”  
“Why not Serket? He would be perfect.”  
“No, he barely says anything. He’d be ‘too cool’ for it anyways.”  
You’re a bit confused. “What job?”  
Terezi steps in front of Vriska, “Well you see Dave...we recently fired an employee for...behavioral misconduct...yeah let’s just say that. And, we need a new towel boy...sooo, are you in?”  
“How much are we talkin’?”  
The one with he robotic arm rolls her eyes, “Eight dollars an hour, six hours a day, four days a week. If i’m not mistaken that’s 48 dollars a day, 192 dollars a week, 384 a paycheck. You get paid every two weeks.”  
“And the job is exactly...?”  
“Towel boy.” She looks at you like you’re the stupidest person on earth. “You give towels to the clients and maybe clean up a little.”  
“And...where is this?”  
“Mindfang’s Hair and Massage Salon.”

They take you to the shop so you can check it out. It’s small and decorated like Halloween is tomorrow. The walls are a deep purple, black spider webs lining the ceiling. The floor looks like it belongs in a haunted house: painted broken planks scattered here and there.  
It’s dark but the mirrors are lined in strings of white lights, so it illuminates almost everything. You like it...it’s different.  
You decide to try it, ya’ never really worked anywhere before, but you kind of like the idea of having your own money. Vriska said you start Tuesday, and you're fine with that.

 

* * *

 

 

So you end up getting home around dinner time. You spend the rest of the night on your computer watching movies and reading comics.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:07--  
CG: HEY  
TG: sup  
CG: WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?  
TG: umm  
TG: jus chillin  
TG: why  
TG: cant get enough of this strider ass  
TG: bet you cant  
TG: this ass is fine  
TG: i could enter it into an ass contest  
TG: id get first place no questions asked  
TG: no questions assed  
CG: NO, STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR ASS. I DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHITTERY.  
TG: so what brings you to my inbox  
TG: if not to deal with my bullshittery  
CG: I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE OK?  
CG: YOU WERE LITERALLY SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS STRIDER.  
TG: ...  
CG: AND YOU KIND OF SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF US.  
TG: yeah  
TG: i know  
CG: SO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  
TG: it was just a nightmare  
TG: what do you want me to say dude  
CG: I DON’T KNOW THAT WAS JUST  
CG: I HATE TO SAY IT  
CG: BUT IT WAS TERRIFYING WATCHING YOU LIKE THAT.  
TG: aw are those positive feelings i smell  
CG: YOU’RE NOT TEREZI.  
TG: you like me  
TG: you really really like me  
CG: SHUT UP, GOD. WHY DO I ALWAYS REGRET PESTERING YOU?  
CG: OH THATS RIGHT  
CG: YOUR AN ANNOYING INSUFFERABLE SHITSTAIN  
CG: THAT’S WHY.  
TG: another contest i could win no questions assed  
CG: THIS WAS NOT WHAT I STARTED THIS CONVERSATION FOR.  
CG: ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE OK? CAUSE IT REALLY DIDN’T LOOK LIKE IT.  
TG: im fine dude  
TG: sorry for the freak out  
CG: ITS FINE  
CG: ITS NOT LIKE IT WAS INTENTIONAL,  
CG: YOU COULDN’T HAVE STOPPED IT.  
TG: yeah  
CG: WELL THIS WAS STUPID,  
CG: SEE YOU MONDAY.  
TG: ttyl karkles  
CG: I HAVE A REAL NAME. AND HINT-HINT: IT ISN’T “KARKLES.”  
TG: ok fine  
TG: ttyl karkat vantas  
TG: vantass  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:24--


	20. Just Karkat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sketch, and nothing more

__


	21. Dave's Emotional Decline

You can’t believe it’s been two weeks already. So much shitty shit has happened, it’s all just flown by like a jet on a clear day. That sucker ain’t stoppin’ till it reaches...where ever jets go. Do they just use normal runways...or do they need their own extra-long one so they can slow down without giving themselves whiplash? That’s probably a thing.  
You are currently sitting in second period with your head on your hand, eyes out the window, and leg bouncing like a woodpecker makin’ a nest in the tiles. You haven’t been in the best of moods. Sunday was spent laying in bed thinking about shitty things that you shouldn’t have been thinking about in the first place. This isn’t like you.  
This runt of a teacher isn’t helping your mood either: he hasn’t stopped talking since you sat down and you’re about ready to rip out your eardrums. You’ve been trying to entertain yourself with useless metaphors and stupid questions.

For example:  
Who decided the order of the alphabet? Like who decided it would go ABC instead of ACB or BAC or BCA.  
If you wished for a genie to not grant that wish, what would happen?  
Why is it that things get darker when they’re wet, even though water is clear?

But that can only get you so far. Mr. English finally stops talking about 10 minutes before class ends, which leaves you with 10 minutes to hear John complain about what the fuck he just learned. _Great._

You’d think some of your friends would be absent at least one day out of the year. But no...instead everyone is fucking crowding around you and yelling at the top of their lungs. This might be a little rude, but some of their laughs are so fucking annoying and you don’t even know why. At least Tavbro doesn’t take up any space. He brought his own chair.  
You stare at the apple juice container in your hand while you think. You’re still a little mad you didn’t go with Tavros. Should you apologize? Maybe. It’s not like he’s mad at you right? Maybe he doesn’t blame you. Maybe you’re just being a self-critical asshole.  
What could you have done anyways? It’s you against a fuckin’ car. Yeah, Dirk showed you a little self defense when you were younger, but that was for fights, not car accidents. You could’ve beaten the guy up, you guess.  
  
“Dave?”  
You look at Jade, who looks confused. You haven’t really seen her around much, maybe her and John broke up? Is that even a thing...can soulmates do that? That sounds unhealthy.  
“You’ve been staring at your apple juice for like five minutes, you okey there coolkid?”  
“Yeah...I’m good.”  
“So Dave,” John jostles your shoulder, god he looks way too excited. “Did you hear?”  
“No, John...I did not hear.” Stop being so passive aggressive, Jesus Strider.  
“Mr. English is Jade’s older brother. When she mentioned a sibling, I didn’t think she was talking about HIM!”  
“That explains why he can’t fuckin’ shuttup.”  
“Dave!”  
Jade looks offended. Oh shit. She sputters but doesn’t say anything. She picks up her lunch and dramatically leaves the table. Fucking Fuck.  
“Dave...” John tilts his head.  
You get up and leave. Why are you getting so fucking touchy? Stop being in such a bad mood dude. Cheer up.  
_Yeah, easier said than done._  
You head for the bathroom, ‘cause isn’t that like the first place people go if they’re emotionally unstable? In movies, there’s always someone crying in the bathroom. Maybe you can dramatically slide down the wall and have a mental breakdown.  
_Dude, what the fuck is this?_

You make yourself at home on the floor of the bathroom. You don’t cry, and you don’t really do anything. You don’t even think. Wow, you did not think this day was gunna go like this. You hear the door open and you could care less.  
The person doesn’t say anything, but you know who it is. How you may ask? Who’s the only one you can literally feel their eyes on you? Take a wild guess.  
“There’s a thing called an ‘intimate affectivity decline’. Basically a soulmate-affiliated emotional nosedive...and I think it’s happening between us.”  
You look up to see him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His hair is a mess like always, his dark eyes are staring at you like he sees right through you, and he’s doing the thing with his eyebrows.  
“Will you stop fuckin’ doin’ that?”  
“Doing what?”  
“The...thing,” you motion. “You do this thing with your eyebrows and it’s distracting.”  
“I...can’t help that? Not everyone is so accustomed to keeping a straight fucking face Strider. Stop moping and try to do something that benefits us both. There’s a way to fix this shit.” He comes to stand right in front of you.  
“And how do we do that?” It’s kind of obvious you lost your cool a long time ago, don’t even try to deny it Dave.  
“We sleep next to each other.”  
“Umm...I’m not...uhhh.”  
“Gay? Yeah I’ve noticed. And anyways, you don’t have to be gay to sleep next to someone.”  
“How could that possibly help dude?”  
“Its...well. I read that our minds connect and do some...weird...shit. And that basically resets whatever the hell this is.”  
“That was a shit description.”  
“Well I’m sorry I don’t have the fucking article splayed out in front of me so I can quote it word for word. So...how are we gunna do this because, despite what you might think, I have a life too and this shit is a real drag.”  
“You tell me, yer the one who read the damn thing.”  
“How about you get off your lazy ass. You do realize this is a two-way thing right. I’m not in the best of moods either, although...I think it’s affecting you more than me. But aside from that, I don’t have as much patience as I usually do, not that that’s a large amount to start with.”  
You don’t like feeling like this. It’s weird and it fucks with your coolkid reputation. You need to fix this, Karkat’s right. _Alrighty then, let’s get this over with._  
“Do you just want to nap in the library?”  
“That sounds like a good place to start.”


	22. How Could Dave Go So Wrong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (violence and mention of suicide) kind of an angsty x1000 chapter
> 
> BEWARE.

“This is so stupid,” you say. Both of you are laying your heads down in your arms. The library is full of kids eating and studying, and you can’t help but feel everyone’s eyes on you.  
“Just shut up and humor me, dickwad. Don’t you want to be back to fucking normal?”  
“Yeah, I do, but this is still stupid.”  
“Go. To. Sleep.”  
  
You finally fall asleep after ten minutes of really trying. You dream of something, but you can’t remember when you wake up.  
You blink your eyes open, questioning if you’re still asleep. You’re in the library, and Karkat is sitting up wiping at his eyes.  
“That...worked?” You don’t feel that weight in your chest anymore.  
“Yeah.”  
“What was that?  
“Like I said, it’s like a bad connection between our brains. I guess sleeping rewires it or some shit.”  
“That’s...really weird.”  
“It worked didn’t it? Now let’s fucking go.” He pulls out his phone and swears.  
“What?”  
“It’s sixth period...”  
“What? We slept that fuckin’ long?”  
You notice how tired he looks.  
“Dude, are you okay? Did it work for you?”  
“Strider, don’t ask stupid questions. If it worked for you, it worked for me.”  
“Then why do you seem so exhausted?  
“Because I’ve been permanently exhausted since I was five. I’m fine, let’s just go.”  
You don’t like the sigh he does as he stands up to leave.  
“Dude, why don’t we just chill here until seventh period?”  
“Because I’m not in any obligation to spend anymore time with you that I absolutely have to.” Ouch.  
You kind of just sit there. _Did he...really just say that?_  
He leaves, and you’re left to go over what he just said over and over in your mind. Did that little runt just hurt Dave Strider’s feelings? I think he did.  
Then why the fuck did he pester you and ask if you’re okay? Was he acting? Was he really interested in your well being? We just don’t fucking know.

You have all of these motherfucking questions floating around your noggin’. Why did Karkat seem concerned with your well being? Why did Dirk seem so worried about you having a nightmare? Should you apologize for not going with Tavros? Will Rose figure things out with Kanaya? What about John and Jade?  
Yknow what...whatever, shit’s just gunna drag you down.

All through seventh period, you didn’t feel Karkat’s eyes on you. You turn around to look at him two times, but both times he froze up and kept staring down at his phone. Having people avoid you is new. Your sister doesn’t count, she mostly avoided everyone and their questions. But just one person avoiding only you...yeah, you don’t like that. Not one bit.  
Even though that emotional nosedive thing is fixed, you’re mood isn’t perfect. Were you expecting that? You take a nap with your soulmate in the library and that fixes all your problems? _Idiot._

“Dave!” someone whisper-yells.  
“Hello John, what brings you to my classroom?”  
“Oh hey Mrs. Paint, I just need to talk to Dave real quick...if that’s okay...” John doesn’t look so good. He has a worried kink in his eyebrows, and his jaw is set. _Wtf?_  
“Yeah, of course,” she looks at you.  
You stand, finally feeling Karkat’s eyes on the back of your neck, and follow John into the hall. He closes the door all the way.  
“What’s up dude?”  
John bites his lip and looks away. “Uh-hm-” his voice cracks. _Whoa...that’s concerning._ He clears his throat and tries again, “I uh...me and Jade...we sort of...broke up?” He says it like he’s still not sure.  
“Shit man, you okay?”  
He doesn’t say anything, just sort of stares down at the floor.  
“No...I’m...I’m really not.” He looks...like an abused puppy. Oh god. “How...how could this have happened? How could she do this to me?”  
“Dunno dude, just...try not to think ‘bout it?” You’re not really sure what you should do here. You’re best bro is on the verge of tears because of a break up. You didn’t really cry over you’re past break ups, but you know he was there for you when you were at your worst.  
“Do ya’ know what always fixes a broken heart?”  
“Dave...I don’t want ice cream right now.”  
You suck in a breath and hold your hand to your heart. “John! I’m offended. Why in the _hell_ wouldn’t you want ice cream?”  
“Because the only ice cream I’m craving is mint.”  
“Soooooo let’s go get mint...”  
“But me and Jade always get mint.”  
You take a mental step back and realize just how stupid this conversation is.  
“Alright, if you don’t want ice cream then let’s go to my place and play some hardcore video games. You can take your anger out on those motherfuckin’ AIs.”  
“But I’m not angry Dave, I’m just...sad.”  
Holy fuckin’ christ how many lines do you have to throw out before this trout catches?  
“Then what do you wanna do?”  
“Can we just go please?”  
“Where?”  
“I don’t know! Anywhere but here!” He's out of breath. _Please don’t be having a panic attack. Please don’t be having a panic attack._  
“Dude, calm down. We’ll go, just breathe okay?”  
He nods vigorously while his eyes dart around.

You take him to the park, where you play with a Frisbee laying on the ground. Everything is going fine until a dog barks and runs across the field, then John loses it. He breaks down crying and you sit with him until his breaths even out. It take's a considerable amount of time.  
“Dave...”  
“Yeah bud?”  
“It hurts...so much. It physically hurts.”  
“Really?”  
He nods, “It’s like my heart is getting ripped out, I don’t know if I can take it.”  
“What...”  
“I can’t do this Dave. I can’t.”  
“Whoa, John...you’re not saying what I think your saying...” _Shit._  
“It hurts.” He seems really tired and out of it. _Fuck_.  
You take him by the shoulders and make him look at you. You try to keep your voice level. “John Egbert. There is no way in hell, I’m going to let my best bro kill himself. You hear me? Kick that fucking idea right outta’ yer head right now! Dude. You can’t. You’ll get over this, the storm will pass.”  
“No it won’t,” he starts crying again. Not sobbing, but tears start streaming down his face.  
Oh my fucking god this is infuriating, but you have to keep your cool. You can’t get all mad at him because he’s depressed, just cool it Dave. It’ll be fine.

He stands, swaying a bit, and walks off with a blank expression. Fuck. No. NO. _NO!_  
“John!”  
He doesn’t seem to hear you. There’s a moment where your mind reminds you that Tavros got hit by a car because you weren’t there. You stand up abruptly.  
_Fucking hell. Mother fucking shit balls. God fucking damn it John._  
  
You catch up to him, stopping him and hugging the shaking form.  
“John...please, listen to me. You...I mean...it’s all going to work out the way it’s suppose to. Just let time do it’s thing dude. Its...it’s gunna hurt...and I don’t know for how long...but buddy, suicide is not the answer.”  
His blue eyes are wide and teary. The skin around them is swollen and pink from crying.  
  
He looks down at the ground, and clears his throat.  
“Dave...it’s my choice.”  
“Fuck no! John, think about this. Please. Dealing with this soulmate shit makes you do _crazy_ shit! Like slide dramatically down the bathroom wall like you’re gunna have a mental break down. Or...or have a nightmare about your soulmate being ripped to shreds. John, please. Please, please, please. Don’t. Do. This. You’re not in your right mind.”  
“You can’t stop me,” oh god is his lip quivering? Fuck. What are you suppose to do? You’re not a psychologist. Rose is a psychologist...sort of. When she’s not drunk.  
Fuck, you wish you had your phone right now.  
“Hey, John? Do you think I could borrow your phone?”  
“Dave...no. I’m gunna do this. I have to. I’m in so much pain.”  
“Then let me _help_ you.”  
“You can’t.” He smiles sadly. “This is one thing you can’t fix bro.”  
Fuck.  
You decide it’s time for drastic measures. You catch John’s pocket and reach inside, there’s nothing there. He tries to push you away, but he’s too weak from sobbing. You finally find his phone in his back pocket and type in his stupid password, “password”.  
John is fighting to get his phone back, but you have longer arms.

You don’t call 911, you don’t know what you would say. Or if you could even say it. So the first thing you do is pester the first person who comes to mind.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 3:19--  
EB: karat  
EB: help  
EB: johni s

Fuck, John knocked his phone out of your hand like the world’s best volleyball striker. You push him back and dive for the phone.

EB: wer in troble  
EB: karkat

 _God fucking damn it John!_ He’s on you and you two are now wrestling on the ground. John gets a hold of it and starts to type something in. You quite literally...tackled him like a fucking football player. You grab the device and step back away from John, who is dazed.

EB: we’re fine  
EB: davs just being  
CG: I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?  
EB: karkat this is dave  
EB: john is trying to kill himsef and this is not a fucking joke  
CG: WHERE ARE YOU??  
EB: the park i need you to come  
EB: fuck  
EB: fuck fuckfuck  
EB: hurry

You pocket the phone as you see John rushing towards you. He’s angry. He fights for the phone some more before you get him in a head lock.  
“John, calm the fuck down. I am trying to help you.”  
“Okay, okay, okay. I can’t...breathe.”  
You let go and he shuffles away. What the fuck is going on?  
  
You and your bro share eye contact for a very long time, and then you see it. The twitch in his eye. Fuck.  
He pounces and lands a punch right to your lip. Oh god. Don’t hurt him, don’t hurt him. He get’s another punch to the side of your head, and that one...that one rattles you. You stagger back and almost fall. You catch yourself and try to bring him down. Your attempts fail and he gets another punch to your head.

You leap onto him, pinning him under you. He tried to throw another hit, but you hold his hands beside his head.  
“John,” you breathe. “Please. Just, calm down. You need help.”  
You hear approaching footsteps, or at least you think you do...your head is ringing so loud that you almost have to cover your ears.  
“Thtrider?”  
You look over to see Sollux and Karkat looking really fucking confused.

_How the fuck did things get so out of control?_

“What the fuck...is going on?”  
“John,” god you’re still out of breath. “John is trying...to kill himself.”  
“IT’S MY CHOICE!” He roars.  
“No it’s not!” You yell back.  
Your head hurts so much. Fuck. Your vision is shifting, and you’re getting really dizzy.  
  
One moment your pinning John down, the next...you’re laying on your back looking up at the blue sky. Your ears are ringing, the sky is blue, and the grass is really comfortable.  
Then Karkat is there, and he’s got his hands on your cheeks. They’re _warm_ and _delicate_.

So you’re mind fades with the picture of those creased eyebrows etched into the back of your mind.


	23. Pork Dave-men

When you come into consciousness, you smell ramen. Not chicken ramen, not that icky shrimp ass ramen...no...you smell pork ramen and your mouth feels so dry.  
You open your eyes to find the room you're in dark, except for light coming from your right, your eyes focus a little better and you see two guys looking down on you. One has dark eyes and the other has blue eyes, almost as electrifying as John’s...

“Son, I’m gunna need you to state your name and age for me. Can you do that?”  
“I...uh...Dave. Seventeen. Why?”  
“You have a concussion.”  
“Where’s John?”  
“Your friend was...taken to the hospital.”  
“Why what’s wrong did something happen?”  
“Calm down, nothing happened to him, he’s just getting the help he needs.”  
You don’t like this position you’re in. You don’t like them looking down at you.  
“Who are you?”  
“My name’s Mike,” says the light eyed one. “And this is Steve, we’re Sollux’s dads.”  
Steve looks away, “Your friends are all waiting in the kitchen. Try not to reopen your wounds, ‘cause I’m not fixing them again.”  
“Steve...” Mike scolds.  
You sit up, looking around. The room you’re in only has a therapeutic couch in it. Not even any pictures or tables.  
The light is coming from the hallway, where you head. You hear voices coming from your right, so you follow them. The light’s are dull yellow, and you thank the lord.  
Then you freeze. Where the fuck are your shades?  
“Thtrider?” Fuck, you’re already standing where you don’t want to be standing.

Captor’s kitchen is mostly brown. The cabinets are a deep mahogany-looking, and the counters a light tan granite. But you’re not so much as worried about the color scheme, than the people standing around the island. Some standing, some sitting on bar stools.  
You spot Sollux, Karkat, Rose, and Dirk. There’s bowls in front of most of them, probably pork ramen.  
Rose rushes forwards and hugs you around your waist. You seem to be in such a daze that you realize she’s been holding you for a while now, so you return it.  
Dirk walks up and puts a hand on your shoulder.  
“Has...anyone called Jade yet?” You ask.  
Rose pulls away and straightens her clothes, “I texted her.”

A hand is clamped down on your other shoulder, it makes you jump. How uncool.  
“So Dave, did you at least get a punch in? Seems like you took a beating.”  
You look at Mike like you look at your science homework.  
“Why would I punch my best friend?”  
“Maybe because he punched you first? Kid, you got a concussion for crying out loud.”  
“So what? Wait...” you look over at Sollux and Karkat. You note that Karkat’s eyes widen when you look at him. Yeah, yeah you have red eyes. You know. “What happened after I passed out?”  
“Well, firtht of all, John thtarted freaking out. He thought you died or thome thit...”  
“Language,” comes Mike’s voice.  
“I called my dadth. Thteve took care of you while Mike took John to the hothpital. Apparently he came to hith thenthes onthe you pathhted out.”  
“So...that’s it?”  
Dirk puts his arm around your shoulder. “He’s gunna be fine lil’ bro. Chill.”  
  
Fuck. So John is locked up somewhere and you can’t talk to him, can’t make sure he’s completely fine.

Karkat clears his throat, “So...how are you feeling?”  
How are you feeling? You don’t even know, maybe...sad? No, not even that. Mad? Nah. It’s sort of just...nothing really...  
“Kinda numb, to be honest.” You look over at Mike, “Where’s my shades?”  
“Oh yeah. Here kid.” Steve pulls them from his lab coat...was he wearing that the whole time? Jeez, you must be out of it. You put them on and instantly feel better. Not perfect...but better.  
Everyone’s looking at you expectantly.  
“Tho, what the fuck happened before we got there?”  
“Language Sollux!”  
“Thorry.”  
You think real hard on what to say, but you are too tired to filter your words. So instead, you run your mouth like you sometimes do when you don’t have enough strength to give a shit.  
“Well...John pulled me outta’ class and was all upset ‘n stuff, so we got the heck outta’ there. We went to the park and threw around a frisbee for a while. Then John burst out in tears ‘cause he saw a dog. And he just...cried and cried. I’ve never seen him that sad. Then he just sort of went blank and started saying all this stuff ‘bout how he can’t do it anymore and how it hurts so much and how it’s his choice if he kills himself and I just...I think I made it worse by trying to make him feel better. But I wasn’t about to leave him like that. Jesus, he scared the living shit outta’ me. And then I took his phone and texted Vantas because fuck...I didn’t know what to do. And then we kept fighting over his phone and then...yeah.” You end with a sigh  
“You did the right thing,” Mike says.  
  
You don’t know why you felt it, but the urge to hug Karkat made you clench your hands into fists. Why the fuck do you want a hug from him? He doesn’t care about you.  
“Can we go home?” You ask Dirk.  
“Yea, ‘course bud. Let’s go.”  
Before you know it, your feet take you from Sollux’s house to Cal, from Cal to your house, and from the front door to your room.

Your name is Dave Strider, you’re six foot one, with blonde hair and red eyes, and you cried yourself to sleep on the night your best bro went crazy.


	24. Dave's Not Day Off

Despite the circumstances, you wake up feeling good. Not mentally good, no-no...just physically good. It seems that crying yourself to sleep helped with fatigue. ‘A good cry’ someone might say. Although...you’re not too proud of yourself for letting yourself get so weak. You’re just lucky no one saw you like that.  
Dirk suggests you stay home and ‘recover’, but you’re not the one who almost killed yourself now are you? _Wow, that was harsh._  
You stand in the mirror, looking your wounds over. Somehow, John got a good hit to your temple, you think it was his elbow but you’re not entirely sure since it all went down really fast. Anyways, you have a couple stitches holding that together. You move down to your busted lip, which keeps getting re-opened because you can’t fucking stop biting it. You have some more bruises here and there, and you still have a fucking headache.  
Dirk said something about concussions wearing off in a few days. You don’t know how much truth there is to that, but you hope he was overestimating.  
So no, you’re not going to stay home because you have a headache. Besides, you gotta start your job today.

Dirk drops you off, giving you another hand on your shoulder. You hop out and walk up to the school.  
You look to where the group is usually standing and you clench your jaw. Fuck. It’s fine Dave, he’s fine. You approach the slouching forms and stand where you usually stand, looking at where John usually stands. You note that Jade is no where to be seen.  
“You think he’s okay?” You ask. You don’t know who to though.  
“Well, yeah. I mean...the wortht cathe thinerio ith that he went comepletey crazy and ith now in thome padded cell.”  
You nod then sigh, going into the school, fed up at yourself.  
You should’ve done something else. Maybe kept talking to him a bit more. Trying to take his phone was stupid. So stupid. Goddamn it Strider, you fucked up.

_No shit. You fuck everything up._

First and second period went by like your skin was ductape and the universe was pealing it off one strip at a time.  
People kept asking where John was, including the teachers. You and him were partners on most assignments, which left you stuck with all of the work. Normally, It would be the other way around, but right now isn’t ‘normally’.

When you get to gym, no one asks you where he is. Given, he usually sits on the bleachers with his nerd friends while you play games with The Midnight Crew. Sometimes, you forget he’s even in that class.  
“Strider. C’mon captain we talked about the shades.” Ampora says.  
You really don’t want to take off your shades. You still have that lingering headache and also you’ve found your poker face to be exponentially off today.  
You do as he says, but ten minutes into class, you can’t stand the lights. He sends you to the nurse, and you slip your shades on.  
“Afternoon hun...uh...Strider right?” You see a woman that looks an awful lot like your sister’s girlfriend. She writes something down on her clipboard, then turns to you. You note that she has curling tattoos all over her arms and neck.  
“What seems to be the problem?”  
“Uh...headache.”  
“Did you eat lunch?”  
“No.”  
“Have you been drinking water?”  
“A little.”  
“Do you think it might be a hunger headache?”  
“Nah, I sort of got a concussion yesterday...”  
“Oh dear, you shouldn’t be at school then.”  
“It’s alright, I slept most of it off.” More like cried it all out.  
“Dave right? Dave, you’re not suppose to sleep while you have a concussion hun. How many hours did you sleep?”  
“Um...three?...Four? Yeah, four.”  
“Well, that’s not too bad, I guess. Would you like some Aleve?”  
You nod.  
You plop down at the random desk sitting there.  
“I could make you a cup-o-noodle, if you’re hungry.” She gives you a raised eyebrow while digging out the Aleve.  
“Yea, sure.”  
“Beef, chicken, or shrimp?”  
“Beef.” It’s not pork, but it’ll do. You’re not even sure they make pork cup-o-noodles.

After she sets you up with the food and you’ve taken the headache reliever, she leaves to go into her office.  
When you’re halfway through your edible cardboard, you hear another student come in...and you feel his eyes on you. _Fucking hell._  
“Good afternoon Karkat.”  
“Hey.” His voice is soft...wait...soft?  
The nurse comes out, writes something down on her clipboard, and opens up the drug cabinet. She’s not going to ask him what’s wrong?  
She grabs out four pill bottles, opening them up and taking one of each.

Fuck, you forgot about that. Karkat has to take pills. For what, you don’t know...and you’re not going to ask ‘cause that seems like a touchy subject.  
Karkat eyes you, and you focus back on your noodles. _Can’t the nurse have like...elevator music at least, so it’s not so fucking awkward?_  
Your soulmate soon sits down across from you, glaring.

You finish the rest of your noodles and sigh. Karkat is looking down at his phone.  
“I can _feel_ you looking at me,” he says without looking up.  
“I know...I feel you looking at me all the time.” You smirk. “Must really find me attractive huh?”  
“Even if I did...which I don’t...I wouldn’t make it so fucking obvious.”  
“Or maybe you make it so fuckin’ obvious because you can just pass it off as you not being so fuckin’ obvious. Exhibit A: this conversation.”  
“Wow. Just...wow. I thought you had a brain, or a small resemblance to one. But apparently not, apparently my soulmate is just one big meat suit. Your IQ is probably in the tens.  
“Nah, more like a really high number: _millions_.” You shrug.  
“In decimals maybe.”  
You chuckle, “Whatever you say Karkitty."  
“How many times do I have to tell you I have a fucking name. Oh wait...your IQ is in the decimals and you spewing a clusterfuck of nonsense has probably clogged your ear shafts...”  
“What the fuck just came out of your mouth?”  
“They’re called words! Look ‘em up.”  
“Ok, _Karkat_. There, ya’ happy?”  
He goes silent and lowers his eyes. “Yeah, actually.”

_Whoa..._

_WHOA..._

_wait_

_Is he..._

_BLUSHING?_


	25. Dave's Fine

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are ignoring what just went down in the nurses office. Also...you don’t know why you keep restating your name, but it’s not like it’s hurting anything. Anyways, to the problem at hand...  
Karkat Vantas just blushed at something you said. All you did was say his name, why the fuck would he blush at that? He literally ASKED for you to. Like...what?  
So when the bell rung, you got the heck outta dodge...smoothly. You didn’t just book it, that would be too weird. No, you came up with an excuse and then you left.  
  
You need to do more thinking on the Karkat issue, but for now, you just need to focus on getting to seventh period without tripping on your own two feet. Focus Dave, c’mon.

OH COME ON! Can’t you just have one normal thing in your life? No, apparently not.  
You’re Dave Strider, and Dirk Strider is sitting on your desk talking with your music teacher. Doesn’t the fucker have work?  
“Yo, don’t you have work?”  
“Nah, came to check up on ya’. How’s yer head?”  
“Just took some Advil, so it’s fine for now.”  
“It’s completely fine if you want to stay here Mr. Strider, I don’t mind you hanging around.” Is Mrs. Paint...giving your brother bambi eyes? YUCK.  
“It’s Dirk, and sure, I’ll stick around.”

So class starts, everyone sits down and gives you two strange looks, and you are thoroughly embarrassed. Yeah, you both wear shades! Doesn’t mean you guys are related...but...it does...in this circumstance.  
You see Karkat enter, watching as he looks from you to Dirk to you again. You can’t help but imagine that red blush across his cheeks, and the way his dark eyes looked down at the desk and that smile that wasn’t really a smile, but it still made his lips look-Whoa! Okay! That is not where your mind should be at the moment...let’s get back on track. Fuck, you really need to get a hold of your thoughts there Strider.

“Good afternoon everyone, this is Dirk, Dave’s older brother. He’s just going to sit in on our super cool lesson about tempo.”  
Oh lovely! Repetitive beats that abuse your brain even further.

Your mind wanders to the reason your head is pounding on this bright and cheerful day.

John.

You still can’t really believe what happened yesterday. It all seems so...dream-like. Or nightmare-like. Did that really happen? That seems like a thing that would only happen in those dark themed indie movies you took interest in your freshmen year.  
You shiver, uhgch...freshmen year.

All your mind can come back to is that things would have turned out differently if you didn’t take his phone. You fucked up...real bad.

“Dave?”  
“Huh?”  
“I asked if you’d like to do a duet with Dirk?”  
“Thought you were teachin’ us ‘bout tempo...”  
“...I did. Were you not paying attention?”  
You look up at the clock and find that there’s only like fifteen minutes left of class, “Guess not.”  
“Well that’s too bad,” she pouts, but soon snaps out of it. “So what about it?”  
“We could do Paralyzed, if you feel up t’it.” Dirk shrugs. “Or lil’ Rosey could pitch in and we could do Can You Hold Me...”  
“Is that the one by NF?” Paint asks.  
“We haven’t practiced that shit since like...”  
“Last year...I know, what better way to practice than in front of yer class huh? C’mon be embarrassed for once Davey.”  
“For the record, I’m always embarrassed with you around.”  
“I’m honored.”  
“I bet.”  
“Ok!” Paint clasps her hands together. “So it’s settled. Rose, if you would.”

Dirk plugs in his IPod to the stereo so he can start up the instrumental mix of the song that he made. He left out the piano so you could pitch in. You sit down at the large wooden structure and adjust the microphone while your other siblings take their places. All you’re missing is Roxy, but she sort of sucks at singing. (Evidence of that statement: just listen to her in the shower.)

Dirk hits play.

Four little ticks later and you’re playing the keys. You and Rose start off the song, leaving the heavy rapping to Dirk towards the bridge.  
  
Dirk and Rose end the song and when the music fades out, everyone is left in silence. Shit, you didn’t even realize that you felt Karkat’s eyes the whole time. You were too caught up in the song.

The room then erupts in cheers and applause. Wow. Way too many cheers and applause than your puny class could emit. Shit, there’s a lot of extra people in here.  
Mrs. Paint left the door open, that’s why. Goddamn it. There seems to be two other classes in here. Probably from across the hall.  
  
“Holyshitnononono,” You hear Dirk breath beside you. Looking over, you see that he’s backing away from...is he looking at Mr. English? Jade’s brother right?  
“What’s wrong dude?”  
“That’s...him.”  
“Him?” Oh shit. Wait. “Like...kitchenwear him?”  
He nods. OH SHIT.

Your brother’s soulmate is your best bro’s (not so) girlfriend’s brother and you’re not really sure how you feel about that.

“Well shit.”  
Everyone is still talking about your performance, but Mr. English is giving your bother a weird look. “Bro, you better get outta’ here.”  
He takes a deep breath, “Yeah.”  
You grab your sister and the three of you abscond as fast as your legs can abscond you.

When you get home, you and Dirk share awkward looks while leaning against the counter. You both have the beverages of your choices in hand. His being an orange soda, and you...well, duh. It’s pretty obvious.  
“So...Jake English...”  
“Jade’s bro, so it seems. So are ya’ gunna talk to him?”  
“Yeah. At some point, but that point is not right now. What I don’t understand is why my tat showed up years ago. Isn’t it suppose to show up a couple months before?”  
“Not if you and him almost met years ago. I’ll send ya’ a link later.”  
“Alright.”

Later comes around and you find yourself starting up your computer to do what you said you were gunna do. You’ve taken a nice hot shower so your hair is poofy without product, which you comb your fingers through.  
When your desktop finally shows up, you open up pesterchum to send your brother the link, but your task is halted when a message pops up. With wide unblinking eyes, you open it up.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started a memo everyoneshutupandlisten at 7:03--  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] joined the memo--  
EB: ok so  
EB: before you guys blow up with questions...  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo--  
EB: im gunna lay it all out for you.  
TA: what the 2hiit egbert??  
EB: im visiting my grandma for a few weeks, so i won’t be at school.  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined the memo--  
EB: so id appreciate it if someone could take a second set of notes for me???  
EB: it would really help me out.  
CG: JOHN WHAT’S GOING ON?  
EB: GUYS. im going to my grandmas for a couple weeks. is it really that hard to understand?  
EB: wow that sounded harsh  
EB: sorry.  
\--adiosToreador [AT] joined the memo--  
\--cuttlefishCuller [CC] joined the memo--  
AT: oH HI JOHN, YOU WERENT AT SCHOOL TODAY.  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] joined the memo--  
CC: O)( I’ll take notes ore you John! No problhelm! 3;D  
CA: those wwere bad an’ you knoww it fef  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo--  
TT: I’m undoubtedly confused.  
\--gallowCalibrator [GC] joined the memo--  
GC: WH4TS UP B1TCH3S!  
TA: iim beginning to 2ee what2 goiing on here  
CG: YEAH ME TOO.  
TA: well have fun at your grandma2 john  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] left the memo--  
EB: thanks  
EB: where’s dave  
EB: i need to talk to him  
GC: TRY PUTT1NG 4PPL3 JU1C3 ON 4 F1SH1NG L1N3 4ND YOULL C4TCH H1M W1TH1N 4 F3W S3CONDS.  
TT: I can confirm this will work one hundred percent.  
CA: so you called us here to tell us youre goin to your grandmas  
CA: wwhy didnt you just come to school to tell us  
EB: because i’m already at my grandmas  
AT: nO OFFENSE JOHN BUT ISNT YOUR GRANDMA DEAD?  
EB: it’s my other grandma  
EB: on my mom’s side  
EB: i never met her till now  
EB: sorry for the short notice  
CC: No problhelm! 3;J  
\--arsenicCatnip [AC] joined the memo--  
CA: so is this it  
CA: i can leavve noww  
CA: im glad you took the time to message evveryone about you going to your grandmas  
CA: but i could honestly care less  
CA: good luck wwith that  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] left the memo--  
CG: WHAT AN ASSHOLE.  
GC: L1K3 YOU C4N T4LK.  
\--cantaursTesticle [CT] joined the memo--  
AC: Oh hey Equihiss, I thought you were catnapping?  
CT: I was.  
CT: I woke up.  
AC: Haha, that explains it.  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] joined the memo--  
GC: 1T TOOK 4 F3W M1NUT3S,  
GC: BUT W3 C4UGHT H1M.  
EB: dave  
EB: dave?  
EB: oh right  
EB: reading  
CC: Hi Dave! 3:)  
AT: hEY sTRIDER YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS PRETTY GOOD TODAY.  
CC: Rose was a part of that too.  
TT: Indeed, I was.  
AT: wELL YOU WERE ALL GOOD.  
TT: If you would excuse me, I have other matters to attend to.  
TT: Good luck at your grandma’s John. Be strong.  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] left the memo--  
CC: I’m getting pretty tired, Ill sea you when you get back John! Have fun 3:))  
EB: thanks feferi.  
\--cuttlefishCuller [CC] left the memo--  
TG: ...  
EB: dave  
TG: john  
EB: i’m really fucking sorry  
EB: like you have no idea how sorry i am right now  
EB: im not going to ask you to forgive me  
EB: god i’m just  
EB: so  
EB: fucking  
EB: sorry  
TG: chill bro its fine  
EB: no, it’s not. it’s really not  
TG: john  
TG: stop apologizing  
TG: its done  
TG: im fine  
GC: 1M 1NTR1GU3D 4S TO WHY 3GB3RT 1S 4POLOG1Z1NG SO MUCH.  
AT: mE TOO  
AT: wHAT HAPPENED GUYS???  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] joined the memo--  
EB: oh man  
TT: Yo what’s all this ruckus?  
GC: DONNO S33MS L1K3 JOHNNY BOY FUCK3D UP SOM3HOW?  
TG: he didnt fuck up  
TG: i fucked up  
TG: johns just blaming himself  
EB: what no! dave this isn’t your fault!  
EB: oh god please don’t blame yourself  
TG: i egged you on  
EB: no you were just trying to help  
TG: what good that did  
TT: Hey kids, maybe we should take this conversation to somewhere more private?  
EB: yea good idea  
GC: OH H3Y D4V3  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW 1F YOU FORGOT  
GC: BUUUUT YOU M1SS3D WORK TOD4Y  
TG: fuck  
TG: i cant believe i forgot  
GC: YOUR3 LUCKY 1T W4S 4 SLOW D4Y  
GC: 1 COV3R3D Y3R 4SS  
GC: BUT YOU B3TT3R B3 TH3R3 TOMORROW.  
GC: VR1SK4S GO1NG TO H4V3 4 F31LD D4Y W1TH YOU.  
TG: lovely  
TG: im tired  
TG: i think im just gunna hit the hay  
TG: all those straw needles callin my name  
TG: chanting it even  
TG: i cant ignore my chanting fans  
TG: paparazzi would be all over that  
TG: itd be all over the papers and major news channels  
TG: breakin news  
TG: strider ignores his chantin needle fans  
EB: wait dave, please wait.  
EB: just let me make a new chat  
AC: I’m furry confused...  
CT: So am I, but it seems to be something fairly private, so I will leave. Nepeta, join me.  
AC: Will do :3  
AC: Have fun cat your grandma’s John!  
EB: thanks nepeta.  
\--centaursTesticle [CT] left the memo--  
\--arsenicCatnip [AC] left the memo--  
AT: iS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO???  
GC: 1T S33MS L1K3 TH3S3 G1RLS H4V3 SOM3 D33P-ROOT3D 1SSU3S.  
GC: L3TS B4CK 4W4Y SLOWLY B3FOR3 TH3Y BUST OUT 1N T34RS...  
\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] left the memo--  
AT: gOODBYE JOHN }:)  
EB: see ya  
\--adiosToreador [AT] left the memo--  
EB: so that leaves dave, dirk, karkat, and...me. wow, parties die fast.  
CG: I COULD HARDLY SAY THIS *IS* OR EVER *WAS* A PARTY.  
TT: Let’s just get on with this.  
EB: ok  
EB: dave this is not your fault  
EB: i just got caught up in all my feelings.  
TG: its fine  
EB: NO! you can’t keep saying that dave.  
EB: no matter how many times you repeat it, it doesn’t come true.  
TG: dude  
TG: what do you want me to say???  
EB: i don’t know!  
EB: flip your shit  
EB: do something besides sit there and act like nothing bothers you!  
TG: ok  
TG: it bothers me  
TG: it bothers me a lot  
TG: i couldnt help you and that makes me feel kinda useless tbh  
TG: i feel like i fucked up  
TG: big time  
TG: because look at you now  
TG: my best bro is in some mental asylum and its all because i couldnt prevent it  
TG: there  
TG: ya happy  
EB: it’s not your fault, like I said...I just got caught up in my feelings.  
TG: yeah i know  
TG: this soulmate business is bullcrap  
TG: always was  
TG: always will be  
TG: and this is yet another example of how it makes you do dumb and crazy shit  
TG: wvr  
TT: John, how are you even texting us right now?  
EB: it’s not all straps and electroshock in here  
EB: it’s actually pretty nice  
EB: i talked to a nice lady and she determined that i was sane enough to have internet access.  
TG: im going to bed  
TG: oh yea  
TG: did i mention dirks soulmate is jades brother??  
TG: fucked up shit right there  
TT: Dave.  
TT: You should sleep.  
TG: true that  
TG: peace out  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] left the memo--

You sigh long and hard, before pushing away from your desk. You need to get a grip, you’ve lost your cool too many times in the last couple weeks. You need to rein it in.  
AND HOW COULD YOU FORGET YOUR FIRST DAY OF WORK?!?! That should have been front and center in your mind, but NoOo. Instead it was your brother and getting the fuck outta dodge for the second time today. Jesus Christ you need to sleep.

You’re Dave Motherfucking Strider, and for the umpteenth time, you are restating your name for no given reason what-so-ever.


	26. Just Sol, not Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drawin of captor done entirely in pencil, how bow da  
> (looks better on a computer 'cause it's bigger and not all constrained)


	27. Stop Dave-ing Around

You wake up with an even worse headache than yesterday. God, your head is pounding. Ugh. You lay in bed a little longer than necessary, but you inevitably have to get up, so you do. You don’t want to. You really don’t want to. Oh god, why is existing so hard?  
There’s a knock on your door, and you mumble an answer to the person on the other side.  
“Mornin’ bud, how’s the head?”  
“The war of Gettysburg is currently takin’ place, canons, goin’ off everywhere.”  
“Try not to over-exert yerself today, or it’ll turn into Pearl Harbor. Nukes my man, ya don’t want that...trust me.”  
You nod and start getting an outfit together. Black skinny jeans, white tee-shirt, and red converse. Stylish. After you’ve changed and done your hair, you grab a red hoodie on your way out. It is the end of August after all, which means it is pret-ty damn chilly.  
  
You get dropped off on the sidewalk, like always, and Dirk speeds away from the curb, like always. Nothing new here.  
The only thing out of place...is John. But whatever. How could John take the blame for that? He wasn’t in his right mind. It wasn’t up to him to talk himself out of suicide...it was yours, and you failed.  
Well...  
You didn’t do the best of jobs, but at least John’s still alive. So technically you didn’t fail, but you’re probably not going to be so lucky next time...but hopefully there is no next time.  
Okay, stop thinking about John. It’ll only bring you down.

Instead, you unconsciously focus on the tether. It’s barely there, but if you really put your mind to it, you can still feel it.   
“Hey there Strider, you gunna ditch us today?” Terezi leans on her cane.  
“Nah, that was only a one-time thing.”  
“Well thank god. I had to keep Vriska at bay while you were gone. You better be up for some serious snark.”  
“I think I’ll manage.”  
“Dave!” Someone whisper-yells. It reminds you of when John called you out of class.  
You turn to find Jade peaking out of the doors, motioning you over. You do just that, because like hell if you’re not curious. Having seen zlich of Harley, makes a guy wonder if there ever really was a Harley.  
“What’s up?”  
She talks in a hushed tone. “John just texted me.” God FUUUUUU- “And he wants us to visit him.” -CK.  
“What? Why?” The words are out of your mouth before you realize they are.  
“Why? Because, Strider, he’s your best bro...so are you in?”  
You have to think about it. Why are you thinking about it? Just say yes, he’s your best bro after all.  
“Sure...when?”  
“Friday at 4. Jake is driving.”  
“Who?”  
“My brother.”  
“Oh...yeah. Kay, I’ll see you later.”  
“Later coolkid!” She smiles. God she went from 007 to perky golden retriever in .2 seconds.

First hour, you painted a canvas. What you ended up with was a rose against a murky background. What striked you as odd was that you painted a drip of blood coming from the cut end. Huh. Strange what auto-pilot-you does when given a paintbrush.

Second hour, you couldn’t stop thinking about how Mr. Eng-Jake is your brother’s soulmate. Jake is the ‘kitchenwear’ guy. Does he even know? Your brother’s escaped talking with him like two times now.  
And you definitely don’t expect him to come sit by you during independent work time.  
“Greetings Dave, I was wondering...if you could ansa’ a sorta’...personal question?”  
Frick. “Yeah, go ‘head.”  
“I...seem to have made your brotha’, if he’s your brotha’, uncomfortable. I was going to ask if you knew anything about that...”  
“No clue dude. Don’ even think he knows ya.” Maybe you said that a bit fast.  
“Oh golly, maybe I’m just looking too fa’ into things. My apologies Strider, I’ll leave you to your work.” With that he awkwardly gets up and rubs the back of his neck. You look down at your empty paper and pretend to take interest.

Lunch rolls around and you find yourself being pulled over to Rose, Kanaya, Vriska, and Aradia’s table. _Oh lovely, more human interaction._  
“Don’t worry Dave, with John’s permission, I’ve clued my table in on the situation.”  
You’re not sure if you said that out loud or if she’s just being very observant of your body language. You sit down between Rose and Aradia, the latter giving you a raised eyebrow.  
“Ooooooooh,” Vriska sings, “Look who decided to show up.”  
“Vris...” Kanaya scolds.  
“What? He’s the one who didn’t show up. For your first day too...” she looks at you with crossed arms, “If you can’t handle even showing up, how am I suppose to know you’ll be a good towel boy?”  
“Because,” Rose leans forward. “He’s my brother and I trust him.”  
“I’m not even sure if I trust _you_.” She points at your sister.  
Kanaya leans forward. Why is everyone leaning forward? Maybe you should too. “Now would everyone calm down please, I’m sure we can work this out. Dave, your best friend just went to visit his _“grandma”_ , so I can see how scrambled your thoughts must be. How about if you show up for the rest of the week, on time, we’ll forgive you and we can put this all behind us.”  
You nod and the bitch with the mechanical arm scoffs, “Speak for yourself Maryam.”

You decide you kind of hate Vriska Serket. Isn’t that typical? Hating your boss? Yeah.

When you get to music, you’re thoroughly tired and your head hurts. Well, yeah...you have a concussion so, go figure. You’re glad that Dirk is not present, and everything seems to be going normally. Good.  
You sit down next to Tavros and read what the board says to do: 

“Ple^se te^m up with your p^rtners ^nd pl^n your preform^nces. Be nice to Mr. Andrews!”

Boy, she writes her lower case a’s pretty weird, they kind of look like houses. Is that a new thing or have you just never noticed it until now?  
Whatever.

“Oh no, we’re stuck with the dress code teacher,” Tavros looks warily over at you. “Doesn’t he...always send you to the office?”  
FUCKING HELL. Why is it always this class?

You could’ve gone your whole life without any mention of that asshole. Always spewing shit about appearance and the school’s code. You’d never really cared to take note of his name. Why does the universe hate you?

In he prances, green suit and red suspenders. _What a tool._  
“Hello class,” he mocks. “Lejion...hats. Strider...sunglasses. Makara...face paint, go to the bathroom and wash it off. If any of you have a say otherwise, you can go to the principal’s. I’ve had a rough day, and I’m not in the mood to deal with your shenanigans.”  
Gamzee stands up and walks out the door. You’ve been through this two times before and arguing does nothing against this guy, so you follow him.  
“Strider! Where do you think you’re going?”  
“Um...the office?”  
“What no arguing this time?” Is he seriously smirking at you?  
“Nope, no point.”  
“The point is that sunglasses are not allowed in school.”  
“Point is that it’s for medical reasons.”  
“Do you have a doctor’s note?”  
“Nope.”  
“Then take them off.”  
“No.”  
He actually growls. “Then go to the office!”  
“That was the plan.” You roll your eyes. God this guy gets on your nerves. He is literally the ONLY one who cares about this kind of stuff.

You enter the bathroom, which is empty...huh. You’d think Gamzee would be in here. You don’t really know the guy aside from his name. He’s sort of...off in his own mind. Maybe he got lost on the way here.  
Anyways, you slide down the wall and wish you had your phone. Instead, you pick at the fabric of your sleeve and hum little tunes.

Fifteen minutes later and you here the door open. You expect it to be some random dude having to pee, but it’s not. It’s the principal...and he’s glaring right at you.


	28. Dave And Karkat: Broadway

You’re fucked. You are utterly and totally fucked. You know this because you’re walking silently behind Mr. Makara, and you know Mr. Makara; he does not walk silently. He should be biting your head off and threatening your expulsion. So his silence is off-putting to say the least.  
  
_Should I say something? What would I even say?_

You two get to his office and he holds the door open. His face is impressively passive. Walking in, you notice his desk is full of papers. His office makes you feel like everything might fall in at any second. There’s boxes and crates stacked on top of bookshelves and there’s not one inch of wall to be seen.  
“Have a seat Mr. Strider.” You do. You should say something.  
“Dress code is overrated.” Wow, not that.  
“I agree. It’s too bad we can’t wear hats or, in your case, sunglasses, but no matter how many times I’ve complained to the board, they still won’t change the code.”  
“I...uh...yeah. That sucks.”  
“As for your punishment, Mr. Andrews suggested suspension, but I do not see why this should go that far. A call to your parent will suffice.”  
You’ve only heard of this side of Mr. M, for a few weeks he’ll be extremely nice, and the next week, he’ll be extremely harsh and mean. There’s no in between with this guy.  
The principal types in something on his computer and then picks up the phone.

After he has a quick conversation with Dirk, he gives the phone to you. It’s one with a cord so you have to stand up while talking.  
“Sup.”  
“This is suppose to be the moment I start yelling at you or whatever, but you and I both know I’m not a responsible parent.”  
“Yer not a parent at all."  
“Yeah well fuck you. If you need me to come get you, then I will. But it's yer choice here, you wanna stay and walk around shade less, then be my guest.”  
You look up at Mr. Makara, who is picking at his nails. “Do you think I should be picked up?”  
“No, a call will be fine. I’ll give you a pass back to class.”  
You tell your brother you’re fine and then hang up the phone.  
  
Makara takes a sticky note out of his drawer and writes a quick note on it, “I suggest you take off the shades Mr. Strider, Cal is one persistent man.”  
“Cal?”  
“Mr. Andrews.”  
You stand awkwardly, not reaching for the offered note. The principal looks impatient.  
“Is there any way I can keep my shades on?”  
“Not unless there’s a serious reason.”  
“There is.”  
“What.”  
After a moment of wringing your hands, you slip your shades down your nose, and look up at him. You see confusion cross his face, then understanding.  
He writes something further on the note, then hands it out to you. You read it:

StRiDeR tO aNdReWs 8/30  
EXCUSE THE SUNGLASSES

“Uh, thanks...Mr. M.”  
“You’re welcome.” You can’t help but think he’s waiting for you to leave so he can do something.

As your walking down the hallway, you think of all the shit that happened today. _Mental list time? I think it is:_  
_-woke up with gettysburg in my head_  
_-invitation to visit suicidal best friend_  
_-painted a bleeding rose while on auto-pilot_  
_-mr. english is suspecting something with Dirk_  
_-had lunch with the estrogen table_  
_-got yelled at by my boss???_  
_-had to run in gym which gave me a real bad headache_  
_-cal andrews showed up_  
_-that motherfucker_  
_-who even wears a green suit with red suspenders???_  
_-apparently him_  
_-kay back on track_  
_-escaped to the bathroom to chill_  
_-principal found meh_  
_-low key scared shitless_  
_-didn’t really think he’d be the one to find me_  
_-he never really leaves his office except to yell at someone_  
_-goddamn it strider_  
_-focus_  
_-mr. m has his moments_  
_-walking back to class_  
_-has the carpet always been this color???_  
_-shit man_  
_-we’re here_  
_-ok_

You shake your head and reach for the handle.

“Strider, I thought I sent you to the office...”  
“I’m back, with a pass.”  
You hand it to him and he reads it over. If it was possible, you think he’d be blowing steam out of his ears.  
“Go sit with your partner and work. If I have to talk to you again, you’re going back to the office.”  
“Got it,” you turn and trudge over to Karkat with a smirk on your face. You love proving that guy wrong.

“Sup,” you sit down, still smirking.  
“You seem uncharacteristically chipper for a douche who just got sent to Mr. M’s office. Either you’re a suicidal idiot, or he’s in a good mood.”  
“Well I’m not a suicidal idiot so...” _John is though_...whoa where did that come from?  
He nods and slides his paper in front of you.  
“I’ve jotted down a few ideas but there’s only so much you can do with partner projects. I don’t know what the fuck you’re into so you’ll have to come up with something based off of that,” he points to the paper. “And don’t even THINK about leaving all the work to me...”  
You hold your hand over your heart, “Ouch, do you really take me for that kinda girl Vantas?”  
He just glares.  
“Kay, fine.” You look down at the page. His handwriting looks just like the words written on your chest. No fucking shit Strider.

PROJECT IDEAS  
-DUET (SINGING, PIANO, GUITAR)  
-

“Wow, lots to choose from...”  
“Shut up, I’d like to see _you_ do any fucking better.”  
You grab his pencil and start naming things. You’re thoughts are a bit scrambled, but that’s what a list is for right?

PROJECT IDEAS  
-DUET (SINGING, PIANO, GUITAR)  
-choreography  
-dubstep? mashup?  
-piano and singing  
-guitar and singing????  
-singing and dancing  
-musical number ha  
-music vid  
-

You tap the pencil on your lips, thinking. _What would stand out from the rest of the class? A cool dance party? Nah...Mrs. P prolly wants us to learn somethin' new while doing this huh? Maybe the guitar thing?_  
“Do you usually do this?”  
You look over at Karkat. He’s got his cheek resting on his hand and his eyebrows raised.  
“What?”  
“Think out loud?”  
Shit. You really need to get a hold of that. You might have to start seeing Dr. Rosa again.  
“Nah, it’s just somethin’ that happens sometimes...” When your thoughts are flying around your brain.  
He nods, then looks down at the paper. You watch as his eyebrows do _the thing_.  
“Musical number? Ha?”  
“Yeah well, like...I think it would be cool if we could just burst out in dramatic song like we’re on Broadway or some shit.”  
“That sounds stupid.”  
“It’s ironic, we could like...dress up in princess dresses and sing Disney songs. I wouldn’t mind seeing you prance around in a pretty pink dress singin’ Once Upon A Time.”  
He looks like he’s going to blow up, but he takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. He looks tired. Who are you kidding...he always looks tired.  
He plucks the pencil out of your hand and harshly crosses out “musical number ha”.  
“So that’s a no?”  
He has a way of saying nothing, but still calling you stupid with his eyes. He sighs deeply and gives the pencil back to you.  
“Like you were saying, we should probably learn a new trade while doing this stupid project. I don’t know piano all that much and guessing from what you said, you don’t know guitar...so we could probably put something together.”  
“Yeah but that’s lame. Just piano and guitar? We need something that’ll blow everyone away. Something they won’t be suspecting...”  
“I’m pretty sure with you, everyone is suspecting something at least mildly idiotic.”  
“True.”  
You see the corners of his lips turn up just a bit.  



	29. Just Eri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tried drawing eridan. it worked right? what do you think?
> 
> (AGAIN: it looks better on a computer)


	30. Dave's A Natural

This time, you don’t forget you have a job. You still can’t believe you forgot in the first place. Who does that?  
Terezi finds you first. You’re putting your things in your locker when she elbows your arm.  
“You ready Strikid?”  
“Strikid?”  
“Stridude?”  
You roll that around your brain for a moment, and then nod in approval.  
“Status update: Serket’s mood seems to have improved since lunch, but that doesn’t mean you’re in the clear, so don’t get cocky.”  
“Gotcha’.”  
“Also, I know your sister and Kanaya are doing their weird...little...thing, so I thought you should know a little about Kanaya and Vris.”  
“O...kay?” You shut your locker.  
“Vris gets a little protective of Kan sometimes...and it’s kinda...overbearing? So...they used to go out, until Vriska met me...but I have a feeling she still has feelings for Kan.”  
“And yer tellin’ me this because...?”  
“Because I don’t want you to say the wrong thing and get on her nerves, and with your sister interfering with their little doo-hickey...Vris might be a little more harsh on you than she should.”  
“What shouldn’t I say?”  
“Well...don’t say anything about your sister, because that seems to put her in a bad mood...or a worse mood...depending. Anyways, here...” she hands you a piece of paper with multiple pictures on it. “It’s the steps to folding the towels, just so you’re not completely useless when we get there. I recommend reading that in the car.”  
“The car?”

“The car” she was talking about is actually Vriska’s blue expensive-looking car. The one with the Mindfang logo on the side, the one she drove last time when you only went to look. You do what Terezi told you to do and read the damn step-by-step guide to folding towels. How fucking lame, but also ironically lame. What’s more ironic than a cool dude folding towels? Nothing.

But it sure is boring as all heck. Even if you only folded for like twenty minutes. After that, Serket showed you how to steam the towels and use their high-tech washing machine.

Goddamn, you thought this place was all goth and spider webs, but it’s actually pretty fancy. Every customer gets a hot steamy towel, even if they’re getting their hair cut.  
Vriska and Aradia are the hair stylists, while Vriska’s older sister and Kanaya, who showed up after book club, take on the masseuse jobs. Terezi seems to be there for the strict purpose of comedy and entertainment. As for you, you’re not really sure on what to say. You’ve been to salons, but you’re always on the receiving end of the small talk. You’ve never been on this side of it.

So basically, all you did was fold, steam, and hand out towels. Oh wait...no. You actually got to clean up not one...but TWO of Vriska’s hair piles. Apparently she’s also the receptionist. You don’t know how many times you heard her say “Thank you for calling Mindfang’s Hair and Massage, what can I do for you today?”  
Her voice would always be cheery, but her face the exact opposite. Maybe that’s her cheery-face and she’s actually cheery all the time...lmao riiiiiiiight.  
  
When the weird, spiky clock on the wall hits 10, the salon closes. Aradia hops in the passenger seat of an idling SUV. You think it might be black or a very dark blue. Aranea, the sister, climbs into a silver porch, and Terezi pats you on the back, then walks off down the sidewalk.  
“Wait...don’t you need someone to walk ya’?” You call after her.  
“I’m blind, not a dog. I’ve had enough of people for one day anyways. Later Stridude.”  
“Later...”

Well shit...that leaves you all alone with Serket and Maryam. Said girls are climbing inside the...shiny...blue...thing. It reminds you of the movie Twilight. You look at the labels on the back: KIA Cadenza...never heard of it. Sounds fancy.  
“Well...?” Vriska’s leaning out her window. “You coming or what?”  
You climb into the back seat. Once you close the door, every city sound is blocked out and you’re left with the soft whooshing of the heater. You’re not even sure if you hear the engine. Jesus Christ this is a NICE car.

Kanaya turns on the radio and Serket side-eyes her. They haven’t even said anything, but you can tell things are awkward between them. Ice-breaker maybe?  
“So how was I on my first day?”  
“You didn’t fuck up, so you weren’t too terrible.”  
“How can you fuck up towels?”  
“Oh it’s happened before, trust me.”  
Kanaya turns to look at you, “You’re a natural towel boy Dave, but some aren’t as lucky as you. Our last boy was, unfortunately, one of the unlucky ones.”  
“So...what happened?”  
“We’re not at liberty to discuss the specifics,” Kanaya holds back a laugh. “It’s quite an entertaining story actually, but we’ll have to withhold that information for now.”  
The car pulls up to a regular-looking house. Nothing really defining about it from any other house, and Kanaya gets out.  
“See you tomorrow Vriska, Dave.”

So now you’re alone in the car with your boss, Vriska Serket. She is currently mouthing the words to Buy U a Drank by T-Pain. You’re completely fine with this silence, because it doesn’t feel awkward. It just feels like a boss driving her colleague home after his first day as towel boy.  
You stare out the window at the passing buildings.  
“Uhh, Strider. I’m gunna need some directions here.”  
You give her those and soon, you’re pulling into your driveway.  
“This it?”  
“Ye-whoa...” You spot a new car in the driveway. An old orange muscle car.  
“What?”  
“Jus’ never seen that before,” you point.  
She rolls her eyes as you get out, “I don’t care. Now get out, I’m fucking exhausted and I want to get home. Oh...and Strider...?”  
You hold the door, “Yea?”  
“You...did good today. Better than expected. Keep it up.”  
Wait...is this real? Is Vriska Serket, the bitch with the mechanical arm, giving you a compliment? What planet is this?  
“Uh...yeah. I mean thanks.” You shut the door before it could get any more awkward.

When you enter the house, Dirk and Roxy are standing in the living room with their arms crossed. They look...worried? You hear someone stand from the couch, which is blocked from your view by a wall.

The person rounds the corner and you do a double...triple take. This man looks a lot like Dirk but with no emotion what-so-ever, he even has the shades. He also has the same pointed nose and the same jaw, but this man is wearing a baseball cap and looks a bit older. You also can’t shake the feeling that you’ve seen him before. It’s eating at your skin. Why can’t you place where you’ve seen him?  
“Sup lil’ bro.”


	31. The Vantas/Strider Dilemma

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and this fuckery right here...yeah...you’re not a fan.

For the past couple of weeks, you’ve seen your soulmate act like everything is okay when it is clearly not. It doesn’t take a genius to put a puzzle together. For the love of Jesus, his best friend is in a fucking psychiatric ward for attempted suicide. You’ve seen your soulmate go through various mood swings and you can’t help but feel pity for him.  
But you also can’t help the twinge of pain in your heart when he said that.

TG: this soulmate business is bullcrap  
TG: always was  
TG: always will be  
TG: and this is yet another example of how it makes you do dumb and crazy shit  
TG: wvr

You know where he’s coming from. You saw him have a slight meltdown when you had that weird connection thing, and you agree, “this soulmate business is bullcrap”...but you still can’t help feeling like it’s your fault.  
You can’t help a lot of things apparently.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 10:04--  
CG: HEY BUTTFUCK!  
CG: ARE YOU DONE HAVING MAKEOUT SESSIONS WITH YOUR BOYFRINED YET?  
TA: youre ju2t jealou2 your 2oulmate ii2 an iin2ufferable priick.  
TA: and you know me and ED arent a thiing.  
CG: ...YET  
TA: yet  
CG: YEAH WHATEVER, ARE YOU DONE WITH YOUR HOMEWORK?  
TA: nah, we 2tiill have a few problem2  
CG: HA.  
CG: YOU HAVE MORE THAN A FEW.  
TA: 2hut up.  
TA: what diid you want two talk about??  
CG: I’LL WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE DONE WITH YOUR HOMEWORK.  
TA: iit2 fiine, ED2 doiing all the work anyway2.  
CG: OKAY  
CG: SO...  
TA: 2o...  
CG: THAT THING YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT DAVE...  
TA: yeah?  
CG: HOW DO I DO THAT?  
TA: the only plau2able way ii 2ee iit workiing ii2 iif you work your mumbo jumbo romance magic.  
CG: I AM NOT DOING THAT.  
CG: BESIDES...*HYPOTHETICALLY*, I DON’T THINK THAT WOULD BE A HEALTHY WAY TO START OUR RELATIONSHIP.  
CG: IF WE WERE TO *HYPOTHETICALLY* START A RELATIONSHIP.  
TA: then 2tart hangiing out wiith hiim.  
TA: you know...a2 friiend2.  
TA: you guy2 are partner2 for that project arent you??  
TA: u2e that a2 an excu2e.  
CG: YEAH...  
CG: I DON’T WANT TO BE NEAR HIM ANY MORE THAN I NEED TO...  
CG: BUT I CAN’T JUST LET HIM...SUFFER?  
TA: ii dont thiink he2 2ufferiing KK.  
CG: YEAH YOU’RE RIGHT, THAT WAS A STUPID WORD CHOICE.  
TA: you 2aiid 2o your2elf, youre ju2t 2cared of gettiing hurt agaiin.  
TA: that2 ok  
TA: 2iince you feel re2pon2iible iin 2ome way, fiix iit.  
TA: ju2t dont fall iin love wiith the douche.  
CG: THANKS.  
CG: THAT’S REAL ASSURING.  
TA: when are you goiing two hang out wiith hiim??  
CG: I DON’T KNOW.  
CG: IT’S NOT LIKE I CAN READ INTO THE FUTURE, YOU DUMBASS.  
TA: ...  
TA: but you can 2end a text me22age, you iidiiot.  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:17--

Fuck-Fuckitty-Fuck. You don’t want to text him, but you want to help him. The only way to help him is to text him.  
You let your head fall onto your desk, causing a mild bang.  
How could you ever help Strider? What could you possibly do?  
Be his friend...  
Support him...  
Be a shoulder to cry on...  
You highly doubt Strider cries. He’s probably one of those guys who just keeps everything locked up tight. Actually, there is no “probably”, he IS one of those guys.  
There’s a light tap on your door.  
“Karkat? Are you alright?”  
“Go away Dad, I’m fine.”  
“Did you take your medications?”  
Shit.  
“No,” you sigh, you’d been too busy fretting over Strider. “I’ll do it now.”

Once you gather the strength to lift your head, you drag yourself to the bathroom, getting your meds out of the cabinet.  
One for your depression...  
One for your anxiety...  
One for your temper...  
One for your insomnia...  
And one for the migraines from your insomnia meds...

God...you are a mess.

No.

You are a _fucking_ mess.

Don’t forget the ‘fucking’ in there.

You swallow the pills one after the other while trying not to look at yourself in the mirror. You wish there was a pill for self-hatred.

* * *

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:41--  
CG: HEY.  
TG: hey  
CG: WE SHOULD MEET UP TOMORROW.  
CG: FOR THE PROJECT.  
CG: SO WE CAN FIGURE OUT JUST WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE DOING.  
CG: IF YOU WANT...  
CG: ...  
CG: YOU THERE?  
TG: yea sry  
TG: when do you wanna meet up  
CG: WHAT ABOUT AFTER SCHOOL?  
TG: sounds good  
CG: OH WAIT.  
CG: DON’T YOU HAVE WORK OR SOME SHIT?  
TG: o yea  
TG: forgot  
CG: ARE YOU OKAY?  
TG: yea  
TG: jus a bit tired  
TG: long day  
TG: so  
TG: how bout lunchtime  
CG: Library??  
TG: sounds good  
CG: OK  
TG: ok  
CG: SEE YOU THEN  
TG: yea c ya  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:50--

You shut your computer and climb into bed.  
Today was his first day working right? At least that’s what Terezi said. He’s probably just exhausted, like he said. Nothing to worry about. Nope.

Fuck, why are you worrying? He’s fine Karkat. 

**Why do you even care?**  
_Maybe because he’s my other half._  
**I thought you said you’re at no obligation to spend any more time with him than you have to.**  
_I did, and it’s true. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gunna let him go through this without me._  
**What makes you so special?**  
_I...I’m his soulmate._  
**So that gives you the right to interfere with his emotions?**  
_If ‘interfering with his emotions” you mean giving him an alternative to his shitty situation, then yes. From what John’s said, his mood and life just went downhill once he got his soul mark and met me so...maybe I’m the reason he’s not himself._

Fuck Karkat, why are you beating yourself up? You did nothing.

_Ever since I saw Dave passed out on the grass, I can’t stop imagining the faded crossed out words on my wrist._

Hypothetically, if you were to start something, Dave’s life wouldn’t become 100% okay. You know this. Maybe you’d give him something to look forward to, but you can’t fix something that’s out of your control. John’s a big part of this too.  
  
You roll over and hug the blankets to your chest. You can feel the pills kicking in, so you clear your mind and take a deep breath.

You’d rather sleep than think about this shit.


	32. Karkat's Thorns

“Did you athk him?”  
“Yep.”  
“What’d he thay?”  
“Well, I’m meeting him in the library during lunch so how about you take a wild guess.”  
He smirks, “Jutht don’t fuck it up.” Pulling your math book out of your locker, you roll your eyes.  
“Yeah right.”  
“No, but really...take it thlow. I don’t want to thee you hurt.”  
“I know...thanks.” You two stare at each other for a moment.  
“Ok enough with thith awkward bullshit, get to clath athhole.”

Honors English is as boring as it always is. No one’s awake, not even Rosa. She teaches your class like she just rolled out of bed and she’s usually holding onto a coffee, which she brews with her own machine sitting atop her desk.  
If you were a teacher, you’d be like her.

In Art, you sat on the stool in front of your easel and added the sky to your painting. What you imagined is a couple sitting under a tree, with the sky so dark that you can see the stars. You wish you were back in Vermont where you could actually do this. Here, all you really see is the pink-red glow from the city at night. So far, the only thing you enjoy about Texas is the rain.

When lunch rolls around, you make your way to the library. There’s not many kids in there...probably because they’re getting lunch.  
You sit by the windows, and watch as droplets trickle down the glass. You’re glad it’s raining. It makes the ground smell like fresh dirt. You wait around for ten minutes, switching from checking your phone to looking out the window.  
“Sup.” You see Dave sit down across from you. He’s wearing a bright red hoodie.  
“Just waiting for my stupid partner to finally grace me with his presence, what brings you to my neck of the woods?”  
He clicks his tongue and looks down.

_Great, Karkat...just great. You hurt the feelings of none other than Dave Strider with only one sentence._

**Fucking asshole.**

“So...I sort of jotted down a few more ideas...if you want to take a look?” You hand him the paper from your sweatshirt pocket. It’s folded two times and crinkled.  
He takes it, and _oh god his skin is so white._  
“This sounds...complicated.”  
“Not really. You have one of those things that plays back what you record over and over right?”  
“You mean a loop machine?”  
You nod.  
He nods.  
“Think it might work. I have my camera so we can shoot it.”  
“Are there any abandoned buildings around here? That would make it interesting.”  
“Do ya know how many people go to abandoned buildings to make music videos? Plus the only place I can think of is locked up tight.”  
“Well what do you suggest ‘Oh Holy Strider’?”  
“Uhhh, maybe the back roads? There’s a forest behind Ree Street.”  
“A forest,” you hold up one hand. “Or an abandoned building,” you hold up the other. You weigh them while raising your eyebrows.  
“Okay, fine. I’ll take you to the abandoned building, and once ya’ see that it’s impossible to get in, then we can head over to the forest. How ‘bout that?”  
You nod and take the paper back from him. He pulls out something from his pocket and fiddles with it.  
“You...got a new phone?”  
“Yeah, my...brother got it for me.”  
“Nice,” _Now I can text you even if you’re away from your computer._

In Cinema, your stomach started growling because you forgot to eat. You should have gotten lunch when you were waiting for Dave. You couldn’t pay attention to the movie, so you ended up copying off of Kanaya, who has become one of your best friends and greatest assets.  
  
Your class went outside for Photography. It was a struggle trying to keep the rain from hitting the lens, so you mostly took pictures of the ground. Towards the end of class, you went to the nurse like you always do, and you took your medications numbly.

Now it is time to listen to Mrs. Paint’s sing-song-esque voice. She reminds you of a canary, with all those bright colored outfits and graceful-yet-jerky movements. She could pass as a cheerful Dolores Umbridge, with an obsession over students instead of cats.  
At the thought of a certain franchise, you look over at your best friend’s soulmate. God, he infuriates you. He always acts like he’s better than everyone. Better at walking, and hair styling, and eating...you’ve never seen someone eat so...perfectly before. But, there’s one thing he’s not better at than you, and you remind yourself of this every time you feel like scratching his eyes out. He studders, all the time...whereas you...you can pull a sentence out of your ass without even so much has an “um” (unless you intend for that “um”). But this is usually when you’re angry or rant-y. You’ve noticed when you’re around Dave, you tend to lose your train of thought more than you’d like.

You hate to admit it, but that prissy hipster is actually kind of perfect for Sollux. You’ve known your best friend since you were...you can’t even remember your age. It was whatever age you were when you started seventh grade.

You and your father moved after the accident. When Kenneth put in a request for transfer, it looked like you wouldn’t be moving for another year, but thankfully, your father makes a lot of friends, and so it all worked out.  
After you moved to Vermont, shit went downhill real fast.  
  
Kids bullied you because you were exceptionally short and chubby, which led you to an eating disorder and a knack for self-hatred. You did some fucked up shit in your first year there.  
You don’t remember a day you didn’t work out that summer.  
Like you said, you did some fucked up shit, and that also crossed over into seventh grade.

You met your best friend behind the middle school, although...he didn’t start out as your best friend.  
You’re not proud of the things you did, not one bit. But Sollux always brushes it off whenever you feel particularly down about it.

After you got your emotions under control (not really), you really started to think back on the things you did, and that seed of self-hatred just kept growing and growing like a fucking weed. Soon it was like a thicket of rose bushes, vines wrapped around you and thorns digging into your skin.

**But those thorns weren’t really thorns, were they?**

Ever since, you and Sollux have been like brothers, especially since he helped you through that tough time.  
  
What were you thinking before memory lane was so rudely shoved in your face? Oh yeah, Eridick and Solfuck. They do this thing where they try to one-up each other in everything, and you think that’s really healthy for Captor. He’s an arguer at heart, and as infuriating as Ampora is, he seems to bring out the real Sollux. The one you’ve seen throughout the years, and the one hardly no one sees but you.

You look at your soulmate, or his back at least. His spine stiffens and he turns his head to look at you from the side of his head. You just sigh and look down at your phone, is it like that with you and Dave? Does he bring out the real you?  
  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 1:52--  
TG: whats up

You look up and see he’s still looking at you.

CG: NOTHING.  
TG: doesnt look like nothin  
TG: looks like you could create the next tornado with your sighs  
CG: IT’S N O T H I N G.  
CG: PAY ATTENTION.  
TG: ...  
TG: kay

You set down your phone and lean your head on your hand. You still feel his gaze on you so you keep your eyes glued to Mrs. Paint, and within a couple seconds, you feel the tingly sensation on the back of your neck go away.


	33. Mother Vantas

As you’re walking home, you keep your eyes locked on your feet. You watch as rain droplets fly off the tips of your shoes with every step. It’s relaxing, just walking in the rain. But you know you’re going to end up on your front porch and then you’ll have to deal with Kenneth.

You didn’t walk home with Sollux today because he decided to hang around Eridan and his club members. Maybe you should join a club, unless it’s too late in the year. That’d be just your luck, huh?

So as you grow closer and closer to the possibility of facing your dad, so does the knot in your stomach. You and him had a pretty big fight a couple days ago so the only communication between you two has been “Karkat have you taken your pills?” or meaningless small talk through a door.  
You step onto your porch, and inch your way up to the door. God this is stupid, why should you feel scared to interact with your dad? Ugh.  
You take a deep breath, turn the knob, and push the door open.

There is no sign of Kenneth that you can see. Only a clean house smelling of sandalwood and coffee. You’ve lived in a couple different houses, and in every one, your father made them smell like sandalwood. He must really love the smell. The coffee smell is undoubtedly from you.

You close the door quietly and creep towards the hallway leading to your sanctuary. Every step on your old-as-shit carpet makes a small creaking sound.  
When you finally close the door to your room, you let out a breath and set your stuff next to your desk. You really need to clean your room. There’s books spread across the floor along with clothes and blankets.  
Jesus fuck, did you really just trip over your own underwear? You disgusting pig.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have put off cleaning your room for long enough.

  
Your room is clean and everything is in it’s place when you finally hear the front door open. You’re laying on your bed fiddling with your phone when he knocks on your door and reminds you to take your medications.  
You do just that and you’re left with a sour taste in your mouth.  
You take five pills before you go to bed, four pills after lunch, and you’re still as fucked up as ever.

You change into sweatpants and a hoodie, climbing into bed. You fiddle with your phone for a bit until you get a message.

\--twinArmageddons [TA] started pestering cercinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:49--  
TA: hey  
CG: HEY  
TA: why diidnt you want two hang out today??  
CG: I JUST DIDN’T FEEL LIKE WATCHING YOU TWO AWKWARD BASTARDS PARTAKE IN ACCIDENTAL ROMANTIC GESTURES LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY. I ALSO HAD TO CLEAN MY ROOM BECAUSE IT WAS A FUCKING PIG STY.  
TA: ii 2ee..  
TA: ii diidnt get a chance two a2k you how your liilte meetiing went. >:J  
CG: WHAT KIND OF FACE IT THAT?  
TA: iit2 a 2miirky face  
TA: duh  
TA: an2wer the que2tion  
CG: IT WENT FIBE  
CG: FINE*  
CG: HE SHOWED UP LATE AND THEN I INSULTED HIM  
CG: THEN WE AGREED TO TRY OUT AN ABANDONED BUILDING AND IF WE CAN’T GET IN, THEN WE’LL GO TO SOME FOREST.  
TA: ??  
TA: ii thought you were goiing two talk about your mu2iic project??  
CG: I SUGGESTED WE DO A MUSIC VIDEO OF AN ACCAPELLA.  
CG: AND WE’LL FILM IT EITHER AT THE ABANDONED BUILDING OR IN A FOREST.  
TA: 2ound2 compliicated..  
CG: IT DEPENDS ON THE SONG WE PICK.  
CG: WHICH REMINDS ME.

You exit out of your conversation and open up a different tab.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 11:02--  
CG: AT SOME POINT IN THE NEAR FUTURE, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PICK A SONG TO COVER.  
CG: SO IF AT ANY POINT YOU GET THE SLIGHTEST FRAGMENT OF AN IDEA...  
CG: I’M OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS.  
CG: EVEN SHITTY ONES, BECAUSE THAT’S BETTER THAN WHAT WE’VE GOT.  
CG: SHIT.  
CG: YOU’RE PROBABLY SLEEPING.  
CG: THINK ABOUT IT AFTER YOU WAKE UP.  
CG: SEE YOU TOMORROW.  
\--carcinoGentecist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]--

TA: wwhat remiind2 you??  
TA: kk??  
TA: you fucker are you iignoriing me??   
TA: whatever  
TA: iim goiing two 2leep  
CG: GOODNIGHT.  
TA: OH 2O NOW YOU AN2WER!!  
TA: how rude  
CG: YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU USED AMPORA’S QUIRK RIGHT?  
TA: what?  
TA: fuck  
CG: HA  
CG: YOU FUCKING NERD  
TA: how am ii a nerd for liikiing 2omeone and takiing on theiir quiirk?  
CG: ...  
CG: did you really just confess your love for eridan to me?  
TA: ...  
TA: ii diidnt 2ay love..  
CG: WHAT ARE YOU GUNNA DO ABOUT IT?  
TA: about what??  
CG: YOUR “liikiing 2omeone”.  
TA: iim not goiin two do anythiing about iit...  
TA: ju2t liike you.  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN LIKE ME?  
TA: ii dont 2ee you makiing any romantiic advance2.  
CG: THAT’S BECAUSE I’M NOT ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM.  
TA: who2 “HIM”??  
CG: YOU *KNOW* WHO’S “HIM”  
CG: AND I MAY NOT BE MAKING ANY ROMANTIC ADVANCES, BUT I’M NOT JUST SITTING AROUND DOING NOTHING. I’M TRYING TO BE HIS FRIEND.  
TA: ha  
TA: dont make me laugh  
TA: ii 2ee the way you look at hiim.  
CG: I DON’T LOOK AT HIM IN ANY WAY...  
CG: WELL...  
CG: I GUESS I HAVE THIS...  
CG: MOTHERLY INSTINCT??  
CG: I DON’T KNOW...I JUST WANT TO PROTECT HIM. FROM WHAT I DON’T KNOW.  
TA: iit2 called beiing a cancer.  
TA: nerd  
CG: FUCK YOU.  
TA: no thank2  
CG: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SLEEP.  
TA: ii wa2  
TA: ii am  
TA: goodniight.  
TA: good luck with your romantic advances..  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:29--  
CG: FUCK YOU.

You were too involved with your argument with Sollux that you didn’t realize someone else started pestering you.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]--  
TG: i dont know who you take me for  
TG: but  
TG: i never go to sleep before at least one o clock  
TG: and i could probably pull a few songs out of the corners of my sick music playlist  
TG: kinda depends on how easy you want to make this  
TG: we could do a cool dubstep with weird voice runs and shit  
TG: or  
TG: we could do some acoustic thing of a pop song  
TG: i thing mrs paint would like the dubstep one  
TG: think*  
TG: just because it makes it harder on us  
TG: she just needs to chill  
TG: i love her but shit man  
TG: she calls me out on my shit all the time  
CG: HOLY SHIT STOP BLOWING UP MY WALL WITH RED TEXT!  
CG: JESUS CHRIST!  
TG: yes????  
TG: you rang????  
CG: ...  
CG: STOP  
TG: kay  
CG: *SIGH*  
CG: WHAT KIND OF SONGS DO YOU THINK COULD SOUND HARDER THAN THEY REALLY ARE?  
TG: hm  
TG: i could shuffle around some playlists and find ones that could work???  
CG: WHAT’S OUR TIMELINE LOOKING LIKE?  
TG: what?  
CG: WHEN ARE WE GOING TO START ALL OF THIS?!  
TG: oh  
TG: uh  
TG: i have work tomorrow and saturday  
TG: maybe sunday????  
CG: OK  
CG: WHAT DO WE DO FIRST?  
TG: we pick the song  
TG: sing it  
TG: then we go over to the forest and film us mouthing the words  
TG: and then we put it all together  
CG: ABANDONED BUILDING...WE AGREED TO GO THERE FIRST.  
TG: im tellin you man  
TG: theres no way in  
TG: me and egderp tried  
CG: DID YOU TRY ALL POSSIBLE WAYS?  
TG: no  
TG: but some of those ways are really dangerous  
TG: so we didnt risk it  
TG: and we arent either  
TG: we could get seriously hurt dude  
TG: no joke we could actually low key die  
CG: HOW DO YOU “low key” DIE???  
TG: dunno dude  
TG: all i know is that im not going anywhere near that cliff  
CG: CLIFF??  
TG: well talk about it later  
TG: i got things to do so  
TG: gn??  
CG: YEA.  
CG: GOODNIGHT DAVE.


	34. Stupid Mind Ft. Vantas

There are times when you think you’re dreaming, and then there’s times when you know you’re dreaming.

This was neither.

At first, it’s just a feeling of warmth. Then it turns into a pair of lips over your collarbone. _Who is this, and why do they feel so good against me?_  
Their hands are gripping your unruly hair and brushing up against your rib cage. A lightning sensation travels through your body when the person bites down on your neck, leaving you clenching your teeth.  
You genuinely think you are awake when you open your eyes, and that’s why it freaks you out so much.

You see a pair of hazy red irises and a shit-eating grin. That’s enough to scare you awake.

You lay in bed for a good ten minutes in shock of what your mind just came up with. You know you won’t get any more sleep tonight, so you pull out your phone and read up on some updated chapters, whilst trying to push what just happened out of your mind.

**God, you’re such a disgusting human being.**

When your alarm goes off, you get up and numbly do your morning routine. You actually get your hair to look semi-decent, which is better than most days. Your clothes consist of a grey band tee-shirt under a black leather jacket, along with some blue skinny jeans.  
You look at yourself in the mirror and actually enjoy your appearance for once.

Maybe this will be a good day...but also don’t get your hopes up otherwise you might just be let down.

Sollux is waiting at the end of his driveway, and you two walk to school without a word. Neither of you are morning people and you both know not to fuck with the other, but you’re actually in a good mood today. (Despite what happened earlier...)  
  
You and your best friend take your places next to the doors to wait for everyone else. Tavros is usually the first one there, but that’s not the case today. Hm.  
Terezi arrives not too long after you two, and then an old orange muscle car pulls up to the curb. You expect some jock to climb out of it...but not Dave Fucking Strider.

You and Sollux watch as he high fives the person driving and then gets out. Your mind selects that very moment to remind you of your dream and you can feel your face heat up. Fucking hell.  
Terezi gives you a questioning look but doesn’t say anything. When Dave walks up a few seconds later, she get’s a look of realization that you don’t like.  
“Sup,” comes Dave’s smooth but edgy voice.  
“Oh, hey Stridude.”  
“Who’th car ith that?”  
“Uh, it’s my brother’s...”  
“Dirk’th?”  
“Nah, my other brother, Broderick’s.”  
“Who the fuck is that?” You ask...more harshly than you intended.  
“You guys haven’t met him, but he’s cool.” He body checks you, and you unconsciously look down. You were body checked a lot in middle school so you can’t help but feel insecure. Strider’s definitely the type to body check someone. Great.  
“You look good, new hair style?”  
“What? Oh...yeah.” _Goddammit face, why do you have to blush?_ And why does your mind instantly go to “get ready for the body shaming”?  
“Hey, where’s Tavbro?”  
“Dunno, didn’t show up today, maybe he thlept in?”  
“Oooor,” Terezi smiles, “He’s walking this way over with a very tall clown. Well...not _walking_.”  
You look over to see Gamzee pushing Tavros’ wheelchair. _Holy fuck, don’t tell me..._  
“Hey guys! This is Gamzee, he’s my uh...soulmate?”  
“Ith that a quethtion?”  
“He’s my soulmate.” You don’t think anything could wipe that smile off of Nitram’s face. Gamzee lights up when he sees you.  
“Oh hey there brotha’,” he walks over and wraps his arms around you. You don’t move an inch. “Haven’t seen ya’ in a while...”  
“You saw me Wednesday you idiot.”  
“How’s that paintin’ comin’ along?”  
“It’s marvelous, now will you get the fuck off of me?” Sometimes Gamzee can be a bit of a pain...oh wait. Did you say “sometimes”, you meant ALL THE FUCKING TIME.  
You two met on the first day of school in art class. You were both sitting alone and for some reason, you felt it was a good idea to go and introduce yourself. You’d had some luck your first period with Kanaya and a few of her friends...so why not then?  
It went pretty well, because...well...it's _Gamzee_. It was extremely awkward and you didn’t know what to say that whole period, but whatever you said, it worked. Now that you know Makara, you feel kind of stupid for worrying that first day. You don’t think there’s an awkward bone in Gamzee’s body. Not even if someone puked on his shoes, bit their tongue, and slipped on their own bile...Gamzee would still smile and genuinely think this kid is cool.

“That’th tho great,” Sollux says blankly. “Now you can thtop going around meeting random thtrangerth.”  
“Wait,” Terezi holds her finger in the air. “You mean to tell me, you two went like three weeks without meeting each other? You go to the same high school...”  
“Yeah, aaaaand they’re in the thame muthic clathh.”  
Tavros chuckles shyly, “And...we’re kind of in the same math class.”  
“And motherfuckin’ science.”  
“Alright, well you two are the most dense fuckers I’ve met, and that’s great and all, but we kind of need to go to class so we can pass high school.”  
“You jutht want to get to honorth english tho you can read up on all thothe tragic love thtorieth.”  
“Fuck you, I’m going to class.” And with that, you turn and enter the building. With all that chaos going on, you forgot all about your...oh wait no you didn’t. SIKE.  
No, that thing is still front and center in your noggin’.

You, Karkat Vantas, had a wet dream about Dave Strider, and you are morbidly embarrassed...even if you are still the only person who knows about it.


	35. What's Wrong With the Vantas Mind?

Rosa pulled you aside to congratulate you on staying ahead of your class. You’ve already finished the assigned book for the month of September. You finished it the day it was assigned, which was yesterday. Actually, you finished the book after you woke up from that dream. Maybe you should call it a nightmare rather than a dream...

During art, Gamzee is all over you, asking about your well being because “your eyes look like they’re motherfuckin’ died purple”, not that Gamzee was complaining...he likes the color purple. _It was nice not seeing him for a day._  
  
_Jesus Christ, that was a horrible thought._

When lunch rolled around, you sat next to Sollux, who was sitting next to Eridan, who was sitting next to Feferi, who was sitting next to Nepeta, who was sitting next to Kanaya, who was sitting next to Rose, who was sitting next to Dave.  
To your right sat Gamzee, who was sitting next to Tavros, who was sitting next to Terezi, who was sitting next to Vriska, who was sitting next to Aradia, who was sitting next to Equius, who was sitting next to Dave.  
Dave is leaning heavily into Rose, trying not to touch Mr. Horsefetish. That makes you huff a laugh.  
Equius isn’t that bad...Terezi said once you get to know him, he’s “just a shy little girl with a horse obsession...and also a gnarly hate for his inferiors...”  
Anyways, Sollux has been talking for a while maybe you should tune in.  
“...then we can thtill make it to thchool on time. We jutht need some rideth.”  
“My mom and aunt both have substantial space in their vehicles. Vris could drive Rose, myself, Aradia, and her date,” Kanaya animatedly says..  
“Uh, don’t volunteer me for shit. I’m not driving some sweaty horse fucker one foot, so what makes you think I’m driving him to school?”  
You’re a little more than confused. “Wait. What the _fuck_ are you all planning now?”  
“Keep up cranky-pants, we’re working out how Kanaya’s birthday party is gunna go.” Pfft, what a hypocrite. At least you’re inwardly cranky...Vriska is always outwardly cranky, which is worse, in your opinion.  
“Guys.” Kanaya’s edgy low voice quiets the group, “Given that it is on a school night, we could just wait until the following weekend.”  
“OoOor, we could do it THIS weekend...” Terezi cracks her knuckles. “Why wait?”  
“Thoundth good to me.”  
“Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to do it today after school, we could all walk to your house?” Rose asks.  
“Uhh,” Dave speaks up. “That’s not gunna work.”  
“Why not?”  
“I have shit I gotta do today.”  
Vriska huffs, “Liar. You took the day off.”  
“Wait you took the day off?” Terezi cocks her head.  
“Yeah I have other shit to do, other than work.”  
“And what’s that?” Vriska crosses her arms.  
Dave doesn’t look comfortable.  
“C’mon, what’s so important that you have to skip work?”  
Dave does _NOT_ look comfortable. “...uh...I-er...J-”  
“It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk about it, so just leave him the fuck _alone_.” Whoa where did that come from? Wait...you just said that. Act natural, cover it up. “So we’ll meet up tomorrow, Kanaya will just have to give everyone her address...that way everyone can work with their own schedules and show up when they can.”  
“I’ll send out a group message,” Kanaya smiles. She looks pleased with how you handled that situation. “I’ll have to confirm it with my mother but that sounds like a suitable plan that she wouldn’t mind.”  
Sollux leans down and whispers in your ear, “Nice thave.”  
“Fuck you.”

In cinema, you and Kanaya worked together on a packet for Moby Dick, the newest version. She seemed excited for tomorrow and couldn’t stop talking about it. She was aware she couldn’t stop talking about it too, and kept apologizing.

At the end of photography, you go to the nurse’s to get your medications. On your way there, you pass the gym. You can feel the tingle on the back of your neck and you speed up past the doors. Dave knows you take medications, which scares you. He could tell all of his friends, and then...and then...nothing. His friends are your friends dimwit, nothing’s going to happen. You’re over thinking it.  
The worst thing that could happen is you lose a couple friends or you keep your friends and they all have a shitty opinion of you. You can just imagine it now:

 **Such a fucked up wanna-be emo.**  
  
**All he wants is attention.**

**He probably cuts too.**

**Worthless piece o-** _STOP_

OK ENOUGH! Stupid mind running through stupid scenarios. Your friends love you...at least Kanaya, Sollux, Terezi, and Gamzee love you. John loves you (”not in a homosexual way”). So you’ve got them. Kanaya doesn’t seem like the type to just drop someone based on their flaws, Sollux definitely won’t drop you because he already fucking knows about your meds and he’s stayed by your side...Terezi and John are long-lasting internet friends and they both are pretty supportive. And Gamzee...well, he’s Gamzee.  
  
Whatever. Your mind goes through all kinds of stupid things that could happen. Moving on...

“Good morning Karkat,” she gets up and unlocks the cabinet, “I’ve heard my niece has been planning a party for tomorrow...”  
“Yeah...”  
“Well I don’t think Rosa would turn down such an exciting idea.”  
“Mhm,” she hands you the pills and a cup of water. You swallow them quickly without thinking about it. If you think about it, you may just sit there staring at them like they killed your mother.  
“When the bell rings, you can go. You know the drill.” She sits across from you, “Do you have anything on your mind? You look a little worse-for-wear.  
“No, I just had trouble sleeping last night.”  
“If it’s something serious, you should take it up with your doctor hun. If your pills aren’t working then you need to get them changed.”  
“No. They’re working, but I just had a weird dream last night.”  
“Oh, then it should be fine. Nightmare, I presume?”  
“Something like that.”

When the annoying sound rings throughout the halls, you say goodbye to Porrim and exit the small informatory.  
On your way to Music, you find yourself walking behind Dave, who’s walking silently next to three weird guys who look like gang wanna-bes. Dave notices you looking at him and gives you a stupid smirk.  
It reminds you of last night’s dream/nightmare and you clench your fists together.

_What the fuck is wrong with you?_


	36. Counseling: Vantas M.D.

\--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] started a memo: Wild Party Plans at 9:22--  
\--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined the memo--  
GA: Please Do Not Start The Conversation Until Everyone’s Present.  
\--tentacleThereapist [TT] joined the memo--  
\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined the memo--  
\--arachnidsGrip [AG] joined the memo--  
\--terminallyCapricious [TC] joined the memo--  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo--  
\--arsenicCatnip [AC] joined the memo--  
\--apocalypseArisen [AA] joined the memo--  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] joined the memo--  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] joined the memo--  
AG: How many fucking people are going to 8e in here?  
\--adiosToreador [AT] joined the memo--  
GA: Fourteen, Including Myself.  
TG: holy heck  
\--cuttlefishCuller [CC] joined the memo--  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined the memo--  
GA: We Are Now Waiting On Equius.  
AG: Figures.  
\--centaursTesticle [CT] joined the memo--  
GA: Alright, Now That We Are All Here, Does Anyone Need A Ride? Porrim Is Able To Pick Up Six People. My Mother Also Has Six Open Seats, But She’s Busy Until Noon, So You’ll Have To Wait.  
GC: H3Y VR1S C4N YOU G1V3 M3 4 R1D3???  
AA: i w0uld appreciate a ride t00  
AG: Uhgg, yeah sure. Does 8londe need a ride too?  
TT: Dirk is driving Dave and I.  
CA: uuuuh  
CA: cro just said hes invvited too??  
CA: kan did you invvite cro??  
GA: No, Not That I’m Aware Of.  
GA: Oh.  
GA: It Seems That My Mother Is Throwing A Party Of Her Own. It Is Her Birthday Too.  
AA: 0h then i d0nt need a ride anym0re  
AA: damara is g0ing t00  
CG: OK THIS IS VERY CONFUSING. WHO’S DRIVING WHO AND WHEN?  
GA: I Have An Idea. Since There Are So Many Of You, Let’s Treat This Like A Roster. I Will Call Your Names And You Will Answer With How You Are Getting Here. If You Do Not Have A Ride, Then Say That. We’ll Work It Out After.  
GA: Aradia.  
AA: riding with my sister  
GA: Nepeta.  
AC: Equihiss is driving me :3  
GA: Vriska.  
AG: I’m the one driving duuuuuuuuh.  
GA: Tavros.  
AT: i DON’T HAVE A RIDE.  
GA: Eridan.  
CA: cro  
GA: Feferi.  
CC: I don’t )(ave a ride 3:(  
GA: Karkat.  
CG: MY DAD’S DRIVING, HE’LL BE THERE TOO.  
GA: Equius.  
CT: I am driving.  
GA: Terezi.  
GC: VR1SK4  
GA: Sollux.  
TA: my dad ii2 driiviing me there  
GA: Gamzee.  
TC: dUnNo dUdEs  
GA: I Am Counting That As A “i dOnT hAvE a rIdE”  
GA: Dave.  
TG: dirk is drivin me  
GA: And Finally, Rose.  
TT: Same as Dave.  
GA: Okay, So Tavros, Feferi, And Gamzee All Need Rides. You Three Can Message Me Later With Your Addresses. Porrim And I Will Be Leaving Our House Around Nine.  
TC: iN tHe mOtHeRfUcKiN mOrNiN?????  
GA: Yes, Is That A Problem?  
TC: nAh iTs jUsT sO fUcKiN eArLy  
CG: YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP BEFORE NINE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.  
TC: :0(  
GA: My Address Is 9060 S Auspistice Lp.  
CA: are wwe spendin the night?  
GA: If You Are Able, Yes. If You Can’t Get A Ride Home, Like I Said, Porrim And My Mother Both Have Six Seats Available, Each.  
GA: As For Those Of You Arriving On Your Own, Our Maid Will Be Expecting You, So Just Knock.  
CG: YOU HAVE A FUCKING MAID?  
GA: Yes, It Is Quite A Large House: Twenty Plus Rooms And Fourteen Bathrooms.  
TG: dang  
TG: yer gunna have to draw us a map so we dont get lost or some shit  
GA: There Is Already A Pre-Made Map Of The House, Yes.  
TG: sweet  
TA: ii2 that iit??  
TA: can ii leavve now??  
TA: fuck  
TA: leave*  
GA: Um.  
GA: Yes.  
AG: Thank god!  
\--arachnidGrip [AG] left the memo--  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] left the memo--  
CA: ...  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] left the memo--  
GA: I Am Surprised This Went Better Than John’s Party Memo.  
TT: You are better at facilitating than John.  
GA: This Is Very True.  
CG: I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW KAN.  
GA: And I Will Look Forward To It. :)  
CG: GOODNIGHT.  
GC: SW33T DR34MS K4RK1TTY >=J  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF FACE IS THAT?  
\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] left the memo--  
CG: WHATEVER.  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] left the memo--

What the fuck was that about? Does Terezi know about your ~~dream~~ nightmare? Or was she just being her weird-ass self? That is a thing she’d say in general. Whatever, you already took your pills and they’re starting to kick in. You set your alarm for seven, since Kenneth wanted to arrive around 10.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:12--  
TG: hey  
TG: i asked dirk if he could give us a ride to the abandoned building  
TG: after the party  
TG: if thats cool wit chu  
CG: I THOUGHT WE HAD TO RECORD THE MUSIC BEFORE WE CAN MOUTH THE WORDS?  
TG: we can still check it out  
TG: if you want  
TG: if you dont then thats cool too  
CG: ...  
CG: I GUESS...  
CG: I’LL ASK MY DAD IN THE MORNING.  
TG: sweet  
TG: hey  
TG: uh  
TG: thanks...  
CG: FOR WHAT?  
TG: getting spider bitch off my back  
TG: during lunch  
CG: YOU’RE WELCOME.  
TG: its just  
TG: i went to go see john  
TG: jades brother drove us  
TG: it was pretty weird cause jakes my bros soulmate  
TG: and hes actually pretty cool  
TG: out of the classroom  
TG: uh  
TG: i dont know why im tellin you this  
TG: sorry  
CG: NO, IT’S FINE.  
CG: WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?  
TG: well...  
TG: johns lookin good  
TG: hes been doin better  
TG: way better  
TG: they got him on some depression meds  
TG: he said  
TG: that theyre letting him out this wednesday  
TG: so thats pretty cool  
CG: NICE.  
CG: BUT HOW ARE YOU?  
TG: ...  
TG: i dunno  
TG: its complicated  
TG: im just  
TG: i feel like its my fault in the first place  
TG: even tho i know its not  
CG: it’s not  
CG: i can assure you that you did nothing wrong.  
CG: you can’t blame yourself for someone else’s mental health...  
TG: yea  
TG: thanks  
TG: what happened to the caps lock???  
CG: i don’t like yelling at people when i’m trying to be sincere.  
TG: right  
TG: well...thanks  
TG: gnight karkat  
CG: goodnight Dave.

 


	37. The Pattern Karkles Doesn't Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //WARNING: mentions of past self harm//
> 
> BEWARE

The car ride there was silent and heavy. You don’t even remember what the fight was about...Your dad just hasn’t approached you about it yet. He’s bound to right? He’s usually the mediator of everything.  
Auspistice Loop is a road with no houses on it. It curves around and you are met with a giant tudor house with an extravagant staircase leading up to the front doors. In the bushes sits a sign that reads: “The Dolorosa Inn”  
“Whoa...” This place looks giant.  
“You’ve never been here before?” Your father has turned off the car and is looking right at you. You shake your head no.  
“Hm. Well that’s a surprise. I really never brought you here?” Another head shake. “Rosa and I go way back.” He seems nostalgic. He sighs and opens the door. _What the hell?_

Even from outside, you hear screaming and dying laughter. _Yup...Nepeta’s definitely here._

Before you can take one step from the car, the front doors open and out comes a humble-looking girl with impossibly white hair and a lime green suit on. Dave’s hair isn’t even that white...  
“Mr. Kenneth, Rosa is waiting on the upstairs floor, west wing. As for Karkat, Kanaya is throwing her party downstairs in the east wing. I will show you the way.”  
You grab your bag from the backseat and ascend the stairs to the giant building. Kenneth branches off somewhere and you’re left following the...maid? Is this the maid? She seems more like a secretary.

The echoes of voices reach your ears, along with a cackle...wait...Terezi has work. The maid brings you into what looks like a giant living room with a long wrap-around couch like John’s. There’s a giant screen on the wall too big to be an actual T.V..  
  
You look around, spotting Vriska and Terezi talking with Kanaya. Vriska must have closed the shop early...or maybe she didn't open it at all.  
On a windowsill in the corner, you see Gamzee and Tavros laughing about something on the former’s phone. Rose and Dave are sitting on the couch sharing earphones and talking lowly. Equius is trying to hold Nepeta back from bouncing off the walls and so is Feferi.  
  
You stand in the doorway awkwardly. What should you do?  
  
“The lion creeps up on the unsuspecting kitten...” What?  
“Wha-oof!” Suddenly your face is friends with the ground and there’s a heavy weight on your back. “GOD DAMMIT NEP SERIOUSLY?! GET OFF!”  
“Nepeta hun, get off of the...kitten.” You hear Porrim’s smooth whiskey voice from the doorway, and she chuckles after she finishes her sentence. You stand up and glare at her.  
“Don’t laugh at that!”  
“Are you always this loud outside of school?”  
Vriska comes up behind you, “Only when he’s agitated, I’m assuming.”  
Porrim nods. “Well I’ve uncovered the pool and there’s barely any clouds in the sky so it’s going to be a pretty day. We have plenty of spare swimsuits if you need one. The adults are already on their way down.”  
“I’ll show you guys the way,” Kanaya says.

There’s a whole basket of left-behind swimsuits for everyone to scour through. Dave chucks a pair of swimming trunks with little crabs on them at you.  
“There ya’ go crabby.”  
“I’m not wearing these.”  
“Why? You chicken?” _A challenge?_  
You walk over to the basket and flip through a few articles of clothing. Dave is still kneeling next to the basket, which means you two are extremely close. You look over at him and he meets your glance (you think). You look back and search faster. Eventually, you come across a pair of pink cupcake trunks. You smile to yourself and turn towards Dave, hurling the thing at his face.  
“Ah, fuck. What the fuck was th-whoa. Dude, cupcakes?”  
You can’t help but smile, “If I have to wear these, you have to wear those.”  
“Sweet man, these are perfect!” _Fuck._ That wipes the smile right off your face.  
“You’re so excruciating.”  
“So true dude, I’m gunna go change...” He skips...he _SKIPS_ off down the hall. What an ass!  
Kanaya ushers you into one of the many bathrooms in this house. Apparently everyone’s excited to see you in these blue and orange trunks. God this is going to be embarrassing.  
You strip down into nothing and then tug on the piece of clothing that smells like laundry detergent and chlorine. You tie the drawstring and then you’re set.  
Then everything goes downhill once you check your appearance in the mirror...  
  
How could you forget about your scars?

Maybe you should wear your shirt out...you brought another shirt anyways. Would that be too weird? It should be fine right? They’re just white lines...no one will really notice right? You’ll be underwater...  
God. So much regret right now.

Yknow what? It’s going to be fine. You’re with so many supportive friends, there’s no reason to worry.

You wad up your clothes and step out of the bathroom. You put your clothes next to your backpack and walk towards the room with the swimsuit basket.  
Before you round the corner, you stop and take a deep breath, making sure you keep your inner wrists by your side and your ankles together.  
  
_Please don’t let anyone notice._

When you walk in, you spot Dave playing with his phone in the cupcake trunks and you snort.  
“Oh my god! Karkat, you’re so cute!” Kanaya exclaims. She’s wearing a green one-piece with a lot more strings than necessary. Now everyone is looking at you, including Dave, and you clench your arms by your side, and ankles together.  
“Yoooooo that looks so cute dude.”  
“Shut up.”  
Rose hands you the sunscreen, giving you a small smirk. She’s wearing a purple bikini with a sarong. She has a belly piercing?  
“What the fuck ith going on?”  
“Sollux, you’re here...good. I have just the look for you...” Kanaya sorts through the messy pile of swim wear.  
She pulls out a honeycomb speedo, and tosses it to him.  
“Wha-I’m...I am _NOT_ wearing thith!”  
“No judgment here bro, c’mon. For the irony?”  
“That maketh no thenthe. Anywayth, I don’t even know how to thwim...”  
He looks at you and there’s something in his expression. He’s the only one here that knows about your scars (besides your dad). You’d be a lot more comfortable if he was there. You give him a pleading look.  
“Ugh, fine. But _I’m_ picking the thwimthuit.”  
  
Once everyone changes, Kanaya leads you all out to the pool. Once you see it, you get the best idea you’ve had. They can’t see your scars if you're in the water...

You sprint ahead of them, spotting a bunch of the adults in the pool already, including your dad...heh.

“CANNONBALL!”


	38. Just Maryam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> requested by growingCataclysm. i tried a side view because fuck idk. she beauiful tho

[Click this because the free image hosting site that i usually use is being a shitty brat today.](https://ibb.co/dT9EQv)


	39. Karkat And The Closets

Everyone’s showed up at this point and the pool is loud and full. You can’t spread your arms out without touching another person. Porrim has music booming through the pool, vibrating everyone’s body.  
It’s fun and warm and even though you don’t have a shirt on, you don’t feel all that self conscious. Which is kind of a surprise because...well you know what kind of reactions you’ve received regarding the topic.  
“Karkat! Karkat! C’mere.” It’s your dad and he’s out of the pool. He’s motioning you to follow him. Swimming over to the ladder, you bump into almost everyone and climb out. You follow him out of ear-shot of everyone.  
“I’m proud of you.” _Whoa, where did that come from?_  
“For...what exactly?”  
“Being brave enough to show...” He looks down at your arms.  
“Yea...thanks.”  
“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this but...” he looks at the pool, then back. “Nepeta is your cousin.”  
“What?”  
“Your mother’s niece.”  
“That...explains a lot. Does she know?”  
“No, I don’t think so.”  
You look at the pool, catching Dave’s unshaded eyes. You look at Nepeta, who is perched on top of Equius’ shoulder.  
“Why are you telling me this now?”  
“Because I didn’t know you two were friends until today. I just wanted one of you to know so...things didn’t progress further than friends.”  
“Wait...” Is he really saying what you think he’s saying? _EW._  
“Let’s just drop this conversation, it’s clear both of us are uncomfortable and I’ve made my point.”  
“She has a soulmate...the girl with the pink goggles,” you motion with your head. He looks over then smiles.  
“I see. Well...since we’re here, I’d like to apologize for our little confrontation earlier in the week.”  
“To be honest I don’t even remember what it was about.”  
“Diddo.”  
Then you’re dad does something he hasn’t done in a long while...  
“Why are you hugging me?”  
“Yeah...it’s pretty awkward isn’t it?” He steps back. “Heh, go have fun with your friends, I’m gunna go get cleaned up. I just got called in, do you need me to come get you tomorrow?”  
“Uh, no...Dave’s brother is taking us somewhere so we can do research on our music project.”  
“Doesn’t sound too bad, when will you be home?”  
“I don’t know...I’ll ask and then call you later.”  
“Sounds like a plan.”

Another hour in the pool leaves everyone’s hands and feet pruned like skin-colored raisins. There’s many stacks of fluffy beige towels inside and you pick one up. _Oooh, it’s warm too._ ~~You’re too busy arguing with Sollux to notice a pair of red eyes on your arms.~~ (There’s no reason to say that because it’s not like you will ever know because you weREN'T FUCKING LOOKING.)  
“KK, I wath not “grinding upon my boyfriend”, there wath barely any thpace in that pool.”  
“And barely any space between you and Ampora. Admit it pindick, he’s not just your tutor, you like him.”  
“...”  
“He’s also your soulmate if you haven’t forgotten.”  
“Yeah...and?”  
“And...you’re _meant_ for each other!”  
“Karkat...I could thay the thame for you and Dave, yet I don’t thee you two getting chummy with each other...yet.”  
“That’s because you and fishface are both...what did you call him? Fruitloop? Yeah, you’re both Fruitloops. As where Strider is not.”  
A cool voice comes from behind you. “And what ‘bout you?”  
Shit. You turn slowly to see Dave smirking at you, he's got his shades again.  
“KK ith altho a fruitloop, but ithn’t open about it.”  
“I’m not gay and I’m not straight and fuck you! Like you can talk! When’s the last time you even _eluded_ to the fact that you’re gay?”  
“I’m not gay.”  
“Bullshit. What about that guy i-”  
“I’m bi.” That shuts you up. You’ve...never heard him actually admit anything about his sexuality, he usually just deflects everything. Your best friend crosses his arms, “There, now what about you?”  
“Oh what...is this like an exchange thing? You show me yours and I’ll show you mine? Fuck no, I’m not telling you.” _Dave is also still standing RIGHT THERE..._  
“When did we even get on thith topic?”  
“When I called you out on cuddling up to fishface.” He nods.  
“What about you Thtrider? Have you gone through your clothet yet?”  
“Uh. My closet is pretty much spic and span man, ‘xept for some dirty clothes layin’ ‘round.”  
Sollux rolls his eyes. “What a denthe lunatic...I don’t think we’re thinking of the thame clothet douchebag.”  
Dave just smirks. Wait...does that mean Dave’s still got some things in the closet? Well...yeah, he just fucking said that. But like...does that mean...he’s not entirely straight?  
“KK?”  
“Huh?” Fuck, pay attention.  
“I thaid, let’th go eat with the otherth...”  
You look around and notice that everyone has left the little mud room besides you three. You wrap the towel around your shoulders and follow Sollux, who seems to know where every-fucking-thing is around this place.

Kanaya’s kitchen is huge, with two islands and enough pantry space to fit a whole industrial kitchen.  
The girl with ridiculously white hair is gliding around doing various things involving cooking like: chopping fruits, stirring pots, and making sandwiches.  
Your friends are gathered around the farther island, close enough to gawk and far enough to not be in the way.  
“Calliope,” Kanaya says with pity, “How many dishes are you making?”  
She smiles pridefully, “I’m making...” she points to each dish, “tuna casserole, tomato soup, shish kabobs, fruit cups, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for those who have light stomachs. You _did_ just go swimming so...”  
“Thank you Callie, but you don’t have to exert yourself so much.”  
“Nonsense, I love variety. Everything, _if I timed it right_ , should be done in about five minutes.”  
“Is there anything I can do to relieve some pressure off your shoulders?”  
“Um...yes. Would you mind grabbing your mother and her guests as well?”  
“Not at all, I’ll be right back.”  
Kanaya exits the kitchen, leaving everyone to watch Calliope. She looks around at everyone and smiles shyly. “If you’d like to get dressed before lunch, I’m sure the food will still be here once you get back.” She laughs and continues nursing the food.

You take her advice and go back to where you left your backpack. God, you didn't know Kanaya's house was so big...well, it's an inn, so...You put down your towel and gather your clothes. Turning, you’re met with a pair of sunglasses and a frown.  
_Why is Strider frowning? Isn't he suppose to be an expressionless douche?_  
  
“Where’d you get those scars?”  
  
_Oh._


	40. Dave And The Waterworks

You don’t know what you were thinking. You didn’t even go in with a plan. You just went in like a nosy prick.

“Where’d you get those scars?” _Ah fuck, that was too harsh._  
“What?” Oh god, his eyebrows are doing the thing, but not in the cute way.  
“I mean...shit...you don’t have to answer that. That was...I was just being...” _A nosy prick_.  
“Yea...I’m gunna go change.”

He scurries off without looking back.  
  
_Great_...look at what you did. Dave. Maybe you should get changed too. Shit. Fruitloop Number 1 demanded a rematch ‘wwhen there are less people in the pool’.

You walk back to the kitchen, gaining a few odd looks from Terezi and Sollux. You stand by Tavros while Calliope finishes up lunch. She’s putting the finishing touches on the bowls of soup and shish kabobs.

When Karkat comes back, you’ve got a couple sandwich slices and a carbonated lemonade. What even is carbonated lemonade?  
“So...” Rose comes to sit next to you. _Fuck._  
“I thought you were sitting with yer girlfriend...”  
“I was a bit curious. So...where did you go when you followed Karkat?”  
“Ta’ take a piss?”  
“Mhmm, right...”  
“Don’t give me that look.”  
“What look?”  
“The ‘I know you’re lying, but whatever you say’ look.”  
“Are you lying?”  
“No...”  
“No...?”  
“No. Jesus Rose, all I did was take a piss, don’t worry. Nothing legendary happened. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great piss, but it wasn’t in my top 10.”  
“Okay then...If it was “just a piss”, why did you come back distressed and why are you getting so defensive about it? Did you confront Karkat?”  
Ugh. She got you. You sigh and take another bite of PB &J. “I’d rather not talk ‘bout it.”  
“Alright. Maybe later?”  
“Yea...” Why is your sister so smug all of the damn time?  
  
After everyone’s done eating, Kanaya suggests you guys go on a walk down to the lake. All of you agree. You’re stuck walking next to Gamzee, who’s pushing Tavros. Thank god the path is wheelchair-friendly. Makara keeps going on about memes and stupid jokes that you keep laughing at for no reason.  
You keep looking back at Karkat, but he’s ignoring you. You fucked up. Big time.  
You slipped on a shirt, but you kept the cupcake trunks. You like how frustrated Karkat was when he realized you actually liked them. For some reason, you want to keep getting that reaction.

You hear a ding, and look at your phone.  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:24--  
EB: hey  
TG: sup  
EB: nm, just trying not to go insane.  
EB: there is literally NOTHING to do here.  
EB: nada.  
EB: zilch.  
TG: you could always fuck with ppl  
TG: pull down some shorts  
TG: do a couple magic tricks  
EB: i already tried that >:B  
EB: now i don’t have any allies.  
TG: allies??  
TG: you mean friends???  
EB: yea :B  
TG: yer such a dork  
EB: i know  
EB: everyone calls me that  
TG: its like yer second name  
TG: hey i gtg  
EB: ok :,B  
TG: dont cry eggy  
TG: ill be back b4 you know it  
EB: ttyl dvae  
EB: dave*  
TG: ttyl jhon  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 1:31--

You turn off your phone, looking through the trees like everyone else. You see shimmering here and there. Nepeta and Feferi whoot and start running towards the lake, followed by a few others.  
“Wait! You need to reapply your sunscreen!” Eridan and Kanaya run after them.

Sollux is also walking along side you, which you just noticed.  
“Tho, are you and ED having a rematch?”  
“Yup, dunno when though. You gunna watch?”  
“Yep.” He purses his lips.  
“Ah, I see. Captor can’t resist the temptation of seeing a certain shirtless guy...”  
“What? No...me and ED are jutht friendth.”  
“Wasn’t talkin’ ‘bout him,” you smirk.  
“Oh god...” Sollux does a face palm, still smiling.  
“Hey Dave...remember that time you thought I wath your thoulmate?”  
“Shhhhhoosh, we don’t talk about that. Oh look, there’s a lake. How ‘bout we stop talking and run towards it...”  
You start jogging while trying to ignore the laughing behind you. That fucker.

You follow the trail out of the forest and onto a...beach of grass? No really, it looks like...a beach...of grass. Like instead of sand, it's perfectly mowed grass. The perfect lake-side tanning spot.  
There’s a dock that has a gazebo at the end of it. Connected to the dock is a blue paddle boat.  
“Holy shit...”  
You see the others rubbing sunscreen onto each others’ backs. Nepeta’s already in the water, and Fishdick is running towards you with an evil-looking grin on his face.  
_Great._ Your little competition may be sooner than you thought.

“You ready to lose?” God, he looks so fucking stupid in those goggles.  
“Dude, the only one who’s losin’ is you, fishface.”  
“Fish can actually swwim. You’re just a golden retriever mutt. Wwhoevver makes it to the middle of the lake wwins. Havve fun doggy-paddling!” Then he sprints off into the water, wading through the shallows.

_Fuck, he’s getting a head start. Shit._

You take your shirt and shades off as fast as you can and chase after him. You get an idea and change course onto the dock, running down to where it’s less shallow, then you dive in.

The water is cold against your face. Colder than the pool, by far. You resurface and stake out Ampora, who is approximately ten feet ahead of you. Okay, you can deal with this. Just focus.  
You used to be the best swimmer at the public pool. People even lined up to compete against you. Well...you and Rose. If you were competing against your sister, you would definitely lose. But you’re not. Fishdick has nothing on you.

Five feet.

You’re right next to him, and he’s giving you disbelieving looks.

You pull ahead into first place and start laughing.

“Ugh...fuck...you...Strider...”

“Buy me...dinner...first...” You look back at him. “Where’s...the middle...anyways?”

“I don’t...noww”

You and Fishdick swim for a few more minutes.

Your legs are getting tired and sore. Your right leg feels kind of tight. You haven’t really been swimming all that much lately. Shit, what if this is a cramp? _Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!_  
_ACH!_  
As predicted, a pain shoots up your leg just as you extend it. You can’t stop moving your leg unless you want to drown. _Fuck, this is bad._  
Eridan flies past you.  
“Er-” Ugh, you just swallowed water. _Keep moving, maybe it will go away_. You change the way you move your leg, but that doesn’t help.  
You try again.  
“Eridan!”  
  
Ah! Every time you move your leg it hurts. _Just...keep...moving._ God, your heart is racing.  
“Davve?”  
Oh god, you just inhaled water. The back of your throat burns and you keep coughing. _Shit, this is bad. This is really bad._  
“Davve...are you...okay?”  
“No,” you choke out.  
  
You stop moving your leg but keep your arms moving. You’re barely keeping your head above water. _Fuck._  
“Davve...wwhat’s...wwrong?”  
“C-” ugh, more water. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire, but also numb to the bone.

Your neck is sore from extending it up to breathe.

One last lightning bolt of excruciating pain and you crumple over in the water, thinking:

_I’m going to die._


	41. Suck Dave's Dick

You’re dead...you’re surely dead. Right?

_Is this what being dead feels like? It’s actually kind of warm, and smells like...what is that? freshly mowed grass?_

You hear muffled voices all around you. Hm, angels? Maybe you’re in Heaven...or Hell- they could be demons.  
They sound kind of...angry?   
You hone in on what the angels/demons are saying...  
  
“Awyoserouswhintooallorp...” It’s all a jumbled mess. Maybe it’s because you don’t speak the language?  
“Iriedibst...tleastsivve.” Wait...did you hear “least”?  
“Eahbarly, watmigntotellDirk?”  
“Tll hm avv had an accident, he doesn’t need to noww the details...”  
Fishdick?  
“Can you just make sure he’s still breathing?”

_I’m not dead._

_I’M NOT DEAD!_

_HAHA SUCK ON THAT DEATH!_

“Yea, he’th thtill breathing.”  
_Fruitloop number two!_  
  
You blink your eyes open to see the blue sky. As you take a deep breath in, you can still feel pain in your chest but at least you’re alive.  
“Thtrider, can you hear me?”  
“Loud and clear,” god your throat is so scratchy.  
“I think it’s safe to say I wwon.”  
You chuckle.  
Rose kneels right beside you, glaring. “You _idiot_...”  
“Wha-”  
“You think you can win all the time! Well, you can’t! This competition was stupid! I’m not going to say “you could have been hurt” because YOU ALREADY _ARE_ HURT!”  
“Whoa, calm down Rosie...I’m fine...”  
“Yea, but a couple minutes later and you wouldn’t be. Don’t forget the lasting effects of near-drowning experiences!”  
“Actually, Dave wathn’t in the water that long tho he should be fine. We might have to keep an eye on him jutht in cathe he showth thigns of pneumonia though.”  
"Oooh, look at chu Dr. Listhpy."  
“Oh god,” Rose drops her head into her hands. You finally sit up, looking around. It’s just you four, huh...that’s weird.  
“Where is everyone?”  
“They wwent back to comfort Vvantas.”  
Oh shit...  
Karkat...  
Fuck. You want to see him. To make sure he’s alright. Well, he’s alright considering the circumstances you just went though...but does he know you’re alright? Does he even know you’re alive? There’s probably some spidey-senses that come along with being soulmates, so he probably knows. His tattoo would do the thing Rose’s did too.  
You don’t really _need_ to see him...but you want to.  
“Let’s go,” you stand up and sway a bit.  
“Wwait, are you sure you’re okay to stand?”  
“Yea, I just really need to see Ka-” Fuck, you just said that out loud?  
“Karkat, yeah he wwas in pretty bad shape. You should go.”  
  
_Pretty bad shape? What?_  
“What do you mean?”  
“Jutht go, he needth you.”  
_Fuck, that doesn’t sound good..._

You make your way up the slight incline, trying to breathe properly. It’s strained, but you’ll live.  
  
_It was way easier coming down this path than going up it._

When you finally get to the building, you’re out of breath and your lungs are on fire. You guess that’s a side-effect of almost drowning.  
  
You head to the living room. From the hall, you hear Terezi’s loud-as-fuck voice and Vriska’s ‘I’m so done’ voice.  
“BAM! Take that! Pew-pew...alacazam bitches!”  
“God, you’re so fucking annoying, can we just get this over with?”  
You stop before turning the corner. This time, you need to go in there with a plan. Ok. You came back to see if Karkat’s okay. So...  
What happens after you turn the corner?  
Do you and Karkat run at each other and crash into a tight embrace? Confess your love for each other and kiss?  
No. Be realistic Dave.  
Ok, so just stroll in and...nod to him?  
  
You should have just waited for the three of them. It would be less awkward. But Sollux said he “needth you”.

_Yknow what?_

_3_

_2_

_1_

You turn the corner.

The couch is facing the T.V. on the other wall, so no one sees you...how melodramatic.  
You spot the mess of hair over the back of the couch. Upon you locking your eyes on him, said mess of hair shoots up from the couch.  
He turns around to look at you and you can see the surprise even from across the room.  
“Dave...”  
  
_Act cool, you got this...even though you made no plan...and you’re basically just winging it. It’s gunna be fine._  
  
The game pauses and everyone looks behind them.  
“Guys, stop starin’. I get stage fright.”  
“YOU COULD HAVE DIED!” Terezi hurls a small square pillow at your face, and you catch it. “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!”  
“Uh...I didn’t “almost die” voluntarily...”  
Kanaya stands up and walks over. Without a word, she wraps her arms around you, giving you the tenderest hug you’ve ever had. Is ‘tenderest’ even a word?  
You return it, and it’s a great hug. 10/10.  
Until she fucking pushes you away forcefully. “Do you have any idea how worried we were? Your sister was? How worried Karkat was? Don’t ever. Do. That. Again. You hear me?”  
You look over at your soulmate, and smirk. It’s not a full smirk, and it’s gone in half a second. Just your way of saying 'sorry'.  
He does the same.

After everyone settles back down, and the three come back with your shades, shirt, and phone (which you fucking forgot about), you sit down and play a very intense game of Mario Cart with Terezi, Sollux, and Eridan. You can feel Karkat's eyes on you the whole fucking time.  
  
_Boy, he must've been worried._  
  
It lasts about an hour, and you come in third. Sollux taking first and Terezi taking second. Eridan looks like if he scowls any more, his eyebrows will become one with his eyelids.

To give your hands a break, Kanaya puts in a movie that hasn’t even come out on DVD yet, and you end up sitting next to Karkat.  
Both of you don’t say a word, but you lean into him a little more than what could be considered accidental.  
But guess what? You don't fucking care. You were literally just inches away from your death. So _sorry_  if the warmth from his shoulder is the only thing you can really focus on during that hour and forty-five minutes.  
  
The movie can suck your dick.


	42. Striders Lie, Get Over It

Your name is Dave Strider, and once again, you find yourself taking a step back (mentally). You are currently sitting at the head of a table filled to the brim with your friends, Kanaya’s family, their friends, and some pretty awesome food. There’s a dog running around the table and you have no idea where it came from. The lights over the table are casting a warm yellow glow down on everyone. And overall...you are pretty freakin’ stoked.  
Despite the fact that you almost drowned, you could say today is the best day you’ve had in a long while.  
  
Karkat keeps looking at you, and you don’t know why. Nothing really happened during the movie except that shoulder thing and you haven’t even spoken to him at all yet, but you kind of feel like something’s changed. Maybe it’s just your imagination? You’re imagining it...right?

Your pocket vibrates and you pull out your phone.

\--masterMarionette [MM] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 5:23--  
MM: sup  
TG: who tf is this???  
MM: ...  
MM: read the name dave  
TG: i did  
MM: read it again  
TG: how do you know my name??  
MM: holy shit yer dense  
MM: its bro  
TG: ...  
TG: oh  
TG: master Marionette?  
MM: you shit talkin my sweet pesterhandle  
TG: its just handle  
MM: wut  
TG: no one in this generation says pesterhandle  
TG: cmon bro get with the times  
MM: this was a mistake  
TG: whats up  
TG: why are you all up in my DMs???  
MM: dirky poo said he cant pick you up tomorrow  
MM: so i volunteered  
TG: um...  
TG: thanks???  
MM: dont flatter yourself  
MM: being in this house is boring as all hell  
TG: do you kno where the old Sburb house is  
TG: cause we need to go there after  
MM: need???  
MM: what for  
TG: research  
MM: research?  
TG: yea  
TG: its for a school project  
MM: whos “we”  
MM: how many are we talkin  
TG: just me and a friend  
MM: ...  
MM: i know the way  
TG: kay  
MM: hows the party  
TG: pretty fun actually  
TG: almost died but fun  
MM: ...  
MM: should i ask??  
TG: prolly not  
MM: k  
MM: ttyl  
TG: ttyl? dude yer like 30  
MM: ...  
\--masterMarionette [MM] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 5:34--

Oh boy. Bro is so weird, but he’s cool. You don’t know why Dirk has a problem with him. Your brother and Roxy seem to despise him and Rose is suspicious of Bro because of their behavior around him.  
He’s been nothing but nice to you. Well, ‘nice’ isn’t the right word to use.

Whatever. Moving on...the thing is: you’ve never sat at a table and eaten dinner like this. Sure, you’ve sat on the couch with your siblings eating T.V. dinners and hot cheetos, but not like this.

After dinner, everyone went down to the lake again...without swimsuits.  
“I think we’ve had enough water for today,” Kanaya smiles sadly. You can tell the statement was targeted towards you.

_Ha. Fucking great, now I'm going to be known as the guy who almost drowned._

As you’re walking down the path with everyone, your phone pings for the third time today.

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 6:59--  
TT: Don’t trust Broderick.  
TG: what???  
TT: I don’t want to cause a scene, so try not to look at me.  
TT: Act like you’re texting someone else.  
TG: ???  
TG: why are you being so secretive??  
TT: Honestly, I’m kind of paranoid at the moment.  
TT: Dirk disclosed some confidential intel on our older sibling.  
TT: I don’t want to talk over text about it because Derick might be watching.  
TG: rose wtf are you talkin about???  
TG: yer kinda weirdin me out  
TT: I don’t know Dave, there’s just something up with Dirk and I can’t just ignore that. He’s really frazzled by this whole dilemma, so I’m going to believe what he’s saying and what he’s saying is that Derick is no good.  
TT: In about fifteen minutes, I’m going to tell Kan that I’m going to use the restroom and I’m going to walk up the path to the house.  
TT: Wait five minutes and then meet me by the pool.  
TT: We need to talk.  
TT: In person.  
TG: i still dont kno why youre bein all secretive  
TG: yer actually scaring me tbh  
TT: Like I said, he could be watching.  
TT: Please just do what I say for once without question. This is really important; I wouldn’t be acting like this if it wasn’t.  
TG: ok  
TG: see you by the pool  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 7:07--

This...is really weird. What the fuck was that all about? You look at the two girls leading the way. Kanaya and your sister are holding hands and talking lightly to themselves. It seems like a light-hearted conversation. Sometimes you forget how good of an actress Rose is.  
You run your hand through your hair without thinking. It’s not like your messing it up anyways...you’ve been in two bodies of water today so your “do” is totally shit. But that caught the attention of Sollux who’s walking beside you.  
“I’ve never theen you do that.”  
“Do what?”  
“Methh up your hair. You alwayth keep it perfect...what’th up?”  
Rose looks behind her shoulder, eyeing you.  
“My hair’s a mess right now dude, just tryin’a fix it...to some extent.”  
He doesn’t push further.  
Sometimes you forget how good of an actor you are...

When you arrive at the grass beach, you follow Tavros, Gamzee, Karkat, and Sollux to the gazebo. There’s a set of table and chairs; you sit down and relax. You keep a good eye on your sister, who is currently talking with Kanaya (still smiling) while walking down the bank.  
You take off your dirty shades and set them on the small table, rubbing your eyes.  
“Uh...Dave?” Tavros cautiously asks.  
“Hm?”  
“Are you okay? You seem...stressed.”  
Sollux flicks his eyes at you and you glance at him.  
“Jus’ tired little man. Almost died today.” You try your hardest to keep your face straight.  
“Are you sure?” Karkat asks. When you look at him, you see the same look he gave you when you woke up from your concussion at Sollux’s. Maybe your eyes make him uncomfortable? You know that’s true for a lot of people.  
“My dudes, he’s motherfucking fine...Can we talk about the motherfucking pie I all up ‘n made?”  
You look at Gamzee...you’ve never seen him stick up for you. You always thought he didn’t really like you that much.

They move onto a conversation about math and “motherfuckin pie”, and you zone out. Looking across the lake, you wonder what Rose has to tell you.  
From what she said, Dirk has dirt on Bro and it sounds pretty bad. Rose doesn’t want you to trust Bro, but you have no reason NOT to trust him. But your sister, whom you’ve known your whole life, and love deeply, has a different opinion. You trust her judgment more than you trust your own.  
You look over at Kanaya and your si-your sister’s gone.

You scan the beach for her, but you don’t see her. Shit. You got caught up in your thoughts. How long ago did she leave? Has it been five minutes?  
Whatever, you’re too eager to wait for another five minutes.  
You stand up from the table and walk towards the exit. “Excuse me my dudes, gotta take a piss. Brb.”  
“Have fun,” Tavros smirks.  
“Always,” you smirk back.  
You turn and you can feel the smirk literally fall from your face and you slip your shades back on.

You feel like everyone is watching you as you walk down the dock to the lawn. You shove your hands in your pockets and act cool.  
To tell the truth, you kind of feel like a spy.

When you get to the house, you’re out of breath but not dying. You go around to the back of the house and you spot your sister pacing on the outdoor tiles. You’ve only ever seen her ‘pace’ once before...and that was when Roxy was in a critical state in the hospital. She drank too much and she got a gnarly case of alcohol poisoning.

You know your sister...and you know that this...this right here...this pacing...yeah.

That means shit's about to go down.


	43. The Strider Charm

You clear your throat to announce your presence. Rose’s head whips around like you appeared out of thin air.  
“Dave,” She breaths. “Did anyone follow you?”  
“Uh...not...that I know of? Are you doubting my mad spy skills Rose?”  
“Now is not the time for useless banter. This is serious. Are you positive no one followed you?”  
“Not entirely no. I wasn’t looking behind me.”  
“We’ll have to talk quietly then...” She gets all up in your personal space and even then, she talks almost in a whisper. “Dirk found something on Derick’s computer that could insinuate your safety isn’t...secure.”  
“What?”  
“He’s got a tracker on your phone, and also...Derick has been sending countless calls and texts back and forth from a cell phone near-by.”  
“What...does that even mean?”  
“It means there’s someone in our friend group who’s keeping tabs on you and reporting it back to Derick.”  
“Why though?”  
“That’s what Dirk is trying to find out. He has to be careful so Bro doesn’t notice.”  
“Rose...this is...like...really weird.”  
“Yes, indeed.” She gives a hollow chuckle, “I need a drink.”  
  
Rose walks back first, leaving you to stand awkwardly by the pool while trying to decipher what the hell she just said to you.  
Your sister literally just dumped a pile of steaming shit onto your anxiety. Who the fuck would keep tabs on you for your brother? And why would your brother need to anyways?  
This means someone’s watching your every move and you have no idea who it is.

You walk back a few minutes after she does. While walking back down the path for the third time today, you get a text.

\--timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 7:28--  
TT: Did Rose inform you of what’s going on?  
TG: yea  
TT: I have some more information.  
TG: shoot  
TT: Ok, I’m still working on Bro’s motivation to stalk the living shit outta you, but I’ve found out some things about his little helper.  
TT: First of all, we’re looking for someone who’s good with computers.  
TT: Like...my kind of good.  
TT: They’ve got one bad ass firewall up.  
TT: I’m working on cracking it, but if you could figure out who it is, that would make it easier.  
TG: how am i suppose to do that????  
TT: Look for someone who’s constantly on their phone. I’m getting an ass load of text messages being sent to and from that phone.  
TT: Oh shit!  
TG: what  
TG: dirk???  
TG: you there??  
TT: Yeah. I got in.  
TG: you got through the firewall???  
TT: Yeah.  
TT: Um.  
TT: You’re lookin for someone who texts in purple.  
TG: purple???  
TG: like purple purple???  
TT: No, it’s more like pink-purple.  
TT: attachment: <s99783zzy>.jpeg.  
TG: thats  
TG: fuck  
TG: thats ampora  
TT: That hipster douche who comes over with Rose sometimes?  
TG: yup  
TT: Let me look him up.

You arrive at the bank of the lake. You spot Eridan walking next to Feferi and Nepeta. He’s waving his hands in the air.  
So...he’s reporting your every move to Bro? You’ve known this douche since middle school. He wouldn’t do that...would he?  
You walk back out to the gazebo, glancing back over to Eridan. You sit down while the four continue their talk about...whatever the hell that movie is.

TT: It’s not him.  
TT: I was able to hack into his phone no problem. Helpful tip: don’t ask about his fish, he will go on a long ass rant.  
TT: He does text in that color, but the texts aren’t coming from his phone.  
TT: Is there anyone else who uses that color?  
TG: um  
TG: hold on

You open up the old memo Kanaya started, scrolling through it.

_CA: uuuuh_  
_CA: cro just said hes invvited too??_  
_CA: kan did you invvite cro??_

TG: is there anything in eridans texts about the name cro???  
TT: Cro? Let me check.  
TT: Yeah, why?  
TG: pull up his information  
TT: Kay??  
You realize your leg is bouncing up and down like a jackhammer.

TT: Uh.  
TT: I can’t...  
TT: His file won’t load.  
TT: I think this is our guy.  
TG: can you track his phone??  
TT: No. Not unless I go through Bro’s contacts.  
TT: Let Rose know.  
TT: Derick’s home I gotta get off his shit.  
TT: Be careful.  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGogdhead [TG] at 7:45--

“Dave?”  
“Huh?” You look up to see an empty table. Karkat is standing next to you while the rest of them walk back to shore.  
“You coming?”  
“Yeah man, I guess.” _“Let Rose know.”_ “Shit, hold on.” You open up pesterchum again.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 7:46--  
TG: its eridans bro  
TG: the one whos reportin back to bro  
TT: I don’t know what to do with this information.  
TG: yea me neither.  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 7:47--

You turn to Karkat, who’s looking expectantly at you. You start walking with him in tow.  
“You’re so fucking popular,” He rolls his eyes.  
“Not a lot of people can withstand the Strider charm.”  
“Good thing I’m not one of those people.”  
“That’s cruel, why don’t you want me Karkitty?”  
“Because, for one: you call me ‘karkitty’.”  
“What kind of imitation was that? I don’t sound like that.”  
“Just shut up and walk, goddamn. You are the slowest person.” He walks around you.  
“For a shortie, you can really book it.”  
“And what does that say about you?”  
“Touche.”  
Everyone stops around the mouth of the path. Kanaya let’s everyone know what’s going on, and then you make the long trek to the house. You spend that time arguing with Karkat about whatever the hell comes up. Sollux keeps glaring at you both.

Your sister's girlfriend put on another movie. You don’t end up sitting next to Karkat this time, and you don’t hear back from Dirk nor your sister. You refrain from asking Fruitloop Number 1 about "Cro". That’d be a little more than suspicious...especially if he told his brother.  
You get your own room and bathroom (this is an inn yknow). The matress is a queen and the most comfortable bed you’ve ever slept on.

You fall asleep thinking you’d rather share it with someone.


	44. The Strider With No Muscle On His Bones

You don’t have a horrifying nightmare like the last party you went to. You wake up feeling heavy but well-rested, which is pretty damn cool. Not just that, but you wake up to the smell of bacon. You look over at the nightstand and find a plate with one single strip of bacon. Next to it is a note:

“there’s more downstairs if yoU’d like to join Us.”

You’ve never seen this handwriting before. Something tells you it’s from the maid, although you wouldn’t say you’re comfortable with someone coming in here while you’re sleeping. But that’s what maids do right?

You glance at you phone for new messages and get a mini heart attack.

_(51) Missed Messages_

Oh Jesus, this is gunna be fan-fucking-tastic.

\--timaeusTestified [TT] started a memo PROTECTED CHAT>DAVE at 2:37--  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] joined the memo--  
TT: Ok, first of all. I’m not delusional.  
TT: Wow, great start.  
TT: I’m just gunna dive right in ‘cause you’re probably all sleeping like weaklings.  
TT: Ha.  
TT: Ok, staying on topic.  
TT: There are five siblings in the Strilonde family.  
TT: Broderick,  
TT: Myself,  
TT: Roxy,  
TT: Rose,  
TT: and Dave.  
TT: Broderick is goin’ after Dave for some reason and we have no idea why. I was just dicking around on Derick’s computer and I came across a thing and I clicked on the thing and then BAM! Weird...stalker-ish photos of Dave.  
TT: I’m not really explaining this well am I?  
TT: Shit.  
TT: The thing is, Bro has a person on the inside also following our Davey here.  
TT: I’m not gunna say the name cause I don’t really know how some of you will react to this.  
TT: One of you in particular.  
TT: Anyways. Look out for my lil bro, he doesn’t have a lot of muscle on those bones.  
TT: He might know how to defend himself from an attack but I’m not too sure of that.  
TT: You people get it, I’ll just stop now.  
TT: I’ll keep the chat open to see your responses in the morning.  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] exited the memo--  
\--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined the memo--  
GA: Oh Dear.  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo--  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined the memo--  
\--cuttlefishCuller [CC] joined the memo--  
TT: I’m surprised Dirk decided to bring everyone into this.  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] joined the memo--  
GA: You Knew?  
TT: Yes, this is my family. I just didn’t know we were getting everyone involved.  
TT: Dave’s pretty shaken up about it I think.  
GA: I Understand. It’s A Fairly Private Matter.  
\--adiosToreador [AT] joined the memo--  
\--terminallyCapricious [TC] joined the memo--  
TC: I sMeLl mOtHeRfUcKiN bAcOn  
GA: Look To Your Right.  
TC: yEsSsSsSs  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo--  
AT: tHIS IS CONCERNING, i HOPE DAVE IS OK,,,  
CC: I’m shore Dave is fine  
CC: wheel keep an aye on him.  
CA: wwhat noww youre usin pirate puns  
GA: I’m Sure Dirk Would Like Us To Discuss The Topic At Hand.  
GA: Rose, Is There Anything More We Don’t Know That Could Help Us Keep A Better Eye On Dave?  
TA: yea liike who2 thii2 motherfucker who2 stalkiing DV?  
CA: DV???  
CA: ivve only heard you call him strider or albino douche  
CA: an the occasional davve  
TA: 2hut up, iill call hiim what ii want  
TT: Since I know how Eridan will react, I will disclose this information to you.  
CA: wwhat???  
TT: Cronus Ampora is the one reporting back to Bro.  
TA: cronu2?  
TA: liike...ED2 brother cronu2?  
TT: That is what the last name Ampora insinuates...yes.  
CA: huh  
CA: ...  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] joined the memo--  
TG: holy fuck guys way to blow up my phone  
GA: I Feel Like We Should Talk About This Face-To-Face.  
TT: I don’t think that’s a good idea.  
TT: Cronus could be listening in.  
CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD CRO EVEN DO THIS? WHY WOULD “BRO” DO THIS?  
TT: We’re still working on it.  
TG: you call me albino douche???  
TG: ...  
TG: lispy asshole  
CG: WOW, WEAK.  
CG: HOW ABOUT SCRAWNY NERD  
TG: thinney mcskelebones  
CG: PENCIL-NECKED TOOTHPICK  
TG: twiggy stringbean  
TA: hey fuck you both 2iideway2  
TG: no thanks man  
TG: im flattered tho  
TT: Dave, focus.  
\--timaeousTestified [TT] joined the memo--  
TG: right  
TT: Wow...  
TG: responses you wanted  
TG: responses you got  
TT: No shit.  
GA: I’m Confused As To Who’s Talking.  
TT: Sorry, I’ll do the tags. -d  
CA: so wwhat exactly is the plan???  
TT: For now, I suggest everyone just keeps an eye out for Cronus. -d  
TT: We don’t exactly know what the hell Derick wants from Dave but I’m getting bad vibes about the whole situation. -d  
TG: YOURE getting bad vibes????  
TG: dude  
TG: i have like a metaphorical target on my back  
TG: he could be anywhere  
TT: I know, I’ll try pinning his exact location once I can get on the computer. -d  
AT: uHH,,,dAVE ARE YOU OKAY???  
TG: yea dude  
TG: like the peachiest peach on the peach tree  
TT: That means he’s scared shitless.  
TG: wow  
TG: thanks for that  
TT: You’re very welcome.  
GA: I’m Pretty Sure Calliope Has Breakfast Ready, So We Better Start Heading Down.  
GA: I Also Have To Wake Up The Others.  
GA: Shall I Confront My Mother On The Topic? Cronus Is Her Guest After All.  
TT: Do it quietly, we don’t want to tip our guy off. -d  
GA: Will Do.  
GA: So Long. I Will See Most Of You Downstairs.  
\--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] exited the memo--  
CA: im starvvin  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] exited the memo--  
TT: Same. I hear Calliope makes a mean omelette.  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] exited the memo--  
TT: Dave  
TG: hm  
TT: I just found something else...  
TG: no surprise  
TG: what is it???  
TT: Derick just left and I’m on his computer now.  
TG: aaaand ill ask again  
TG: what is it???  
TT: There’s...  
TT: photos...  
TT: of you sleeping.  
TT: The most recent has the time stamp of 12:59 this morning  
TG: ...  
TG: i need a shower  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] exited the memo--


	45. "I'm..." -Dave Strider 2K17

You stand in the shower longer than you intend to. It’s just...the water pressure here is soooooo good. You’ve got the water hot enough to leave red patches where you let it hit. With the feeling of thrumming on the back of your neck, all of the shit in your mind is almost forgotten, but not quite.  
  
_How the hell am I suppose to sleep now? That dude was in my room last night. Cronus. Cronus was standing over me while I slept._

You shiver despite the warmth, and decide to stop wasting their water. The tiles are cool against your steaming foot and that, on top of these bomb-ass towels, soothes your nerves if only for a little bit.  
You stand in front of the mirror, drying off and getting dressed. You wash off your shades because damn are they dirty. When everything is all said and done, you feel fresh and squeaky-clean, leaving you feeling much more confident than you were.

After getting all of your things packed, you walk downstairs with some pep in your step and while you’re eating Calliope’s french toast, bacon, and hash browns, you have an intellectual conversation with your sister. You two talk about Derick and actually come up with some pliable reasons he might be doing this.

Then your phone pings.

\--masterMarionette [MM] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:01--

“Is that him?” Rose asks. When you nod, three people pop up behind you. Eridan, Karkat, and Sollux. Eridan because you think he might blame himself a little for what’s happened; Karkat because he may actually worry about you more than he lets on, and Sollux because...he’s a nosy prick.

MM: what time should i pick your ass up?  
MM: also does rosie need a ride?

“What does he mean? He’s picking you up?” Rose’s eyebrows crease together.  
“Yeah...? He said Dirk couldn’t come get us.”  
“I texted Dirk while you were in the shower and he said he already left.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah I gave him the address too. Does Bro even know where we are?”  
Your heart feels like someone’s gripping it for dear life. He just said he was going to pick you up. You sigh and shake your head. “What am I suppose to say here?”  
“Just...act cool. Don’t let him know we know...”  
You smirk, “When have I ever not played it cool?”  
“I can name a feww times.”  
“Yeah, you’re not ath thtoic ath you think Thtrider.”  
You flip those two off and focus on figuring out what the fuck to say.

TG: uh  
TG: dirks already on his way???  
TG: think you got yer info screwed up bruh  
TG: maybe you should check yer sources  
MM: oh  
MM: my bad lil bro  
MM: but  
MM: im kinda already here

“Fuck.”

MM: fancy fuckin house  
MM: jeez  
TG: yea  
TG: maryams r loaded  
MM: texted dirkie poo  
MM: yer ridin with me champ  
MM: its yer lucky day  
MM: u mind if i come in??  
TG: what  
MM: i wanna meet some of yer friends  
MM: unless you think ill embarrass you  
MM: which is completely likely

“Rose...what do I do here?” She’s been reading over your shoulder, silent.  
“What would you normally do? Would you let him come in if you weren’t aware of the situation?”  
Your heart rate picks up a little...”Yes.”  
“Then?” Rose shrugs.

TG: dont u dare show them the baby book  
MM: oh yea i have that just sitting in my car????  
MM: who do you take me for dave  
MM: you think im tryna ruin your life or somethin?  
TG: or something  
MM: ha

A knock is heard from the front door, and Calliope runs to get it before any of you could object.  
  
MM: r u gunna open the door or jus leave me out here?  
MM: nvm  
  
Eridan and Sollux back off and sit at the bar next to Feferi and Nepeta. Karkat sits next to you at the table. Everyone who wasn’t invested in the conversation at hand continues their chatter normally.  
Kanaya’s mother decides right now is the best time to show up for breakfast.  
  
Oh goddamn it...

“Good morning David, I haven’t formally greeted you yet, I’m sorry.”  
“It’s cool.”  
“I haven’t spoken to you lately, how are things going for you?”  
You keep looking towards the corner to see if he’s there yet.  
“I’m sorry Mrs. Rosa, Dave is a bit distracted.” Your sister begins. “I’m sure Kanaya’s filled you in with the situation at hand. Derick just arrived and I only ask you to act ‘normal’. It could be detrimental if Derick figured out we know what’s going on.”  
Rosa looks a little confused, but nods none-the-less. You don’t give your sister enough credit for being a fucking genius.

When two forms round the corner you were watching, a spike of anxiety shoots from your toes to your heart.  
_He’s here._  
He.  
Is.  
_Here._  
You’re sure Karkat thinks you’re an emotional poser. Here you are slightly shaking when you’re usually full of yourself. Maybe you could pass this off as “ironic scared shitless” but everyone, including you, knows that ironic shit is a bluff.  
“Sup lil bro?”  
You shrug.  
“I don’t believe we’ve met,” Rosa holds out her hand, smiling. “I’m Dolorosa Maryam, David’s psychiatrist and parent of friend. A pleasure to meet you.”  
Derick grasps her manicured hand, “Broderick, Dave’s bro.”  
Eridan gives you a confused look, then asks Rosa: “Wwait...so you’re our English teacher, aswwell as a shrink?”  
“Yes, I maintain two jobs. Why do you think I drink so much coffee?” She laughs.

Derick gives a head nod to Rose, and she bows her head slightly.  
  
“So? You gunna introduce me to yer friends?”  
“All of ‘em?” You grimace. _Act cool._  
He shrugs.  
“Uhh, kay...” You point to everyone, starting from the furthest friend. “There’s Kanaya, the birthday girl talkin’ with the tall lanky guy, Gamzee. The dude in the wheelchair is Tavros, he’s cool. Terezi...the one licking the plate. Vriska, the one grossed out that Terezi’s lickin’ the plate. Aradia and Equius are the one’s makin’ lovey-dovey eyes at each other. Feferi’s the one on her phone. Nepeta’s her soulmate leanin’ over the phone. That’s Sollux,” said nerd makes a peace sign. “That’s Eridan, a royal pain in my ass,” you smirk and Ampora rolls his eyes. “And this is Karkat, my soulmate...” Ah shit...that just rolled right off your tongue without you thinking about it. “Ah...I mean...he’s a friend...but also my...yeah I’m gunna shut up now.”  
“Soulmate huh?” Bro looks him up and down. Karkat shifts and eyes you wearily. You can’t help but think he’s telling you “I don’t like him” just with his eyes. Or maybe it’s “help me” but low key. Those eyebrows say a little of both. “Didn’t know you were gay...”  
“I’m...” _not. What? Why didn’t I say that? ‘I’m not’ isn’t a hard thing to say. Just say it. Shit everyone’s talking again. It’s too late. It would be too awkward._  
Derick sits down next to Rose and continues with a conversation about introductions and how these people met those people.

At some point during the conversation, Rose smirked at you. Of course...Rose smirks a lot (so do you)...but...this one was different. You can’t put your finger on it.  
Everyone keeps giving you looks that mean two different things so you just combine them...  
Your sister just gave you a look that said “I knew it.” and “I’m proud.”

Although you’re not sure what she knows or what you’ve done to attain her admiration.


	46. How To Break Into An Abandoned Building Ft. Dave & Karkat Pt. 1

Sometime during the conversation, Bro leans over and asks you which friend he’s “chauffeuring”. You point a thumb in Karkat’s direction and Derick nods.  
  
You can’t really imagine him doing it. The stalking thing, you mean. He’s been nothing but cool towards you. He hasn’t said anything completely “nice” but Striders aren’t known for being all sunshine and daisies. He’s just...he doesn’t seem like the type. But you guess...no one seems like “the type” until...they do something drastic.

\--timeusTestified [TT] started a memo Oops Sorry at 9:20--  
\--timeusTestified [TT] joined the memo--  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo--  
TT: What happened?  
TT: Sorry. If I insisted I drive you guys he would’ve caught on.  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] joined the memo--  
TT: We don’t want to raise suspicions.  
TG: i get that were suppose to act like everything is a okay but  
TG: how long are we suppose to do this???  
TG: what exactly are we waiting for?  
TG: we know hes been keeping tabs on me  
TG: even if we dont kno the reason  
TG: tbh bro doesnt seem like the pedophile type  
TG: just sayin  
TG: what are we gunna do??  
TG: are we gunna bring this to the police?  
TT: Not until we figure out why he’s being a nosy stalker.  
TT: I wanna know why he’s all up in your business.  
TT: So basically, we’re just waiting until you find motive?  
TT: Yeah, you guys jus sit tight. I’m going to go through all of their texts and figure out just wth is going on.  
TT: Derick is giving Dave and I looks.  
TT: Aight. I’m out.  
\--timeusTestified [TT] exited the memo--  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] exited the memo--  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] exited the memo--

Once in Bro’s car, you don’t know what to say, so you keep quiet. You and Karkat get the back seats while Rose calls shotgun.  
  
Karkat looks so odd next to you. You’re not used to seeing him this close. You don’t really know how to act right now...  
Usually, you’re a little more social while hanging out with Bro, but “cool” at school. Which one do you want Karkat to see? I mean...you almost died yesterday and you should probably care more about that than this typical teenager shit but...  
“Hey kid?”  
“Hm?”  
“How long is it gunna take ya?”  
“What?”  
“The Sburb house?”  
“Oh...uh...” you look over at Karkat, like you’re asking him. _Stupid._  
Karkat shrugs, “You’re the one who’s been there before.”  
“It’ll probably take us ‘bout an hour to walk through an’ scout out some cool backgrounds.”  
“Aight, I’ll jus’ take Rose over to the house real quick.”

The rest of the ride was silent and awkward. Bro notices and turns the radio to some old country station. You don’t complain even though you really want to.

Bro brings the car to a stop next to an absurdly over-grown driveway. It looks more like a four-wheeler trail to you.  
_Is this it? I don’t remember it being a fucking jungle._

Once you and Karkat climb out, Bro leaves and you’re left standing off the side of the road. The gravel underneath your feet crunches as you shift your weight.  
“So...” Why is this so awkward? “You ready?”  
“Yeah.” He’s got his arms crossed but you can’t read his expression.  
You decide to shut your mouth and just walk.

It’s overgrown but maneuverable, even if it’s a pain in the ass when a stickler bush does its job. All those little needles stick into the side of your jeans and earns an irritated huff out of you.  
When you and John came out here, it was the end of fall and most of the leaves were on the ground. You could actually SEE where you were going, but right now, you’re not even sure you’re going in the right direction. It may be fall but these trees aren't shedding yet. How annoying.

You go on for a couple more minutes until you two end up in the back yard of the building. _Good, that would’ve been embarrassing if I got Karkat lost._

“Fucking finally,” He puffs. _His freckles stand out more when he wears black and holy shit that was a really weird thought. Stop it. Goddamn._ He flicks a leaf off his hoodie and glares like he always does. _Moving on._  
  
You see the “cliff” off the side of the house. It looks more like a crater actually. You remember John almost falling the fuck in and you saving his life.  
“We could walk aroun’ the building and see if there are any broken windows but I doubt it. Last time, it was all boarded up.”  
“Yeah,” he’s looking up at the building in awe. Almost as much as John was, but no one could beat the energy that boy could emit when presented with anything involving the supernatural.  
Okay, stop thinking about John, think about finding some cool spots to shoot.

Karkitty is already going ahead of you. You might’ve exaggerated the danger of the place when telling him about it, but you don’t really like being here...it creeps you out. Just the look of the empty windows and busted gargoyles (yes...gargoyles) sends shivers down your spine. It feels like you’re being watched, which is new.  
Oh. It’s just Karkat.  
  
“Are you coming or you gunna keep standing there like a scaredy cat?”  
“Pfft, I’m not a scaredy cat.”  
“Denial,” he smirks and _holy shit that was cute. Shit, stop with those thoughts. Jesus_. You’re not gay...at least...you don’t think you are, but you don’t have the mental capacity to deal with those thoughts right now. Just focus on finding good filming spots.  
  
You two walk around to the front of the house, where the most damage is. Rocks were thrown through the higher windows which weren’t boarded and there is SO MUCH GRAFFITI! It looks pretty cool all put together though.  
“This looks so cool...” You say. “We could sit on the front steps and have the camera glide towards us. Then we could walk around the building and shit if we can’t get in.”  
“You know what would be super metal?”  
“Huh?”  
“If at the end of the video, we jumped off the cliff.”  
“Uh...we’d die. Yeah, sure that’s metal, but is it really worth it?”  
He chuckles. _Again...cute._ “You’re an idiot. I have some experience with computers, I’m sure I can figure out how to edit us jumping in. Try to be brighter than a rock Strider.”  
_Did he just compare me to a rock?_  
“I’d be one smokin’ rock.”  
“Right, forgot...you have an ego the size of Mt. Everest.”  
  
Karkat steps up to a boarded up window, pulling a little at it.  
“Ugh, it’s not budging.”  
“Well yea, those boards look fairly new. Who’s the idiot now?”  
“Shut up.”  
“I told you there’s no way i-what the hell are you doing?”  
“What does it look like? I’m trying to get in.”  
“You can’t just climb that???? You could fall.”  
“Well make sure you’re there to break my fall.”  
“Wow.”  
He hauls himself up using the nailed-in board onto the ledge above it. He’s a few feet from the second-story window.  
“Jesus Karkitty, didn’t know you were a fucking spider monkey.”  
“I’m not a spider monkey, and stop calling me that.”  
He stands up on the ledge, making himself eye-level with the window above. He wipes away some broken glass with his sleeve and then hoists himself up.  
“Do you work out?” He’s sitting on the windowsill now.  
He shrugs, “Sometimes.”  
You notice the situation before he does and you can’t help it...  
  
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your flowing locks.”  
He rolls his eyes and turns himself, disappearing into the house.  
“Would you like Juliet more?” You hear a scoff from the inside. “Ok, your line is: Romeo Romeo, why are you so goddamn sexy Romeo?”  
“I am NOT saying that,” his words echo.  
“Worth a shot.”

You hear him move around a little.  
“So...how do you propose we get all of the supplies inside? I can probably barely carry myself up there, so how are we getting all of our shit in?”  
You scratch the back of your neck when he doesn’t answer. Hopefully he doesn’t get hurt in there. It’s not like you could save him.  
Then you hear a distant, “Stand back!”

You furrow your brow but do just that, stepping back about five steps. After another ten seconds, you hear a thump, crack, and then a loud bang.


	47. How To Break Into An Abandoned Building Ft. Dave & Karkat Pt. 2

Your heart races for 0.2 seconds before you realize what’s going on. The board on the window comes clattering forward. If you wouldn’t have stepped back, you’d have one heck of a headache right now.  
“Breakin’ and entering...that’s new.”  
“Well if your ass was half as agile as mine, we wouldn’t have to break and enter now would we?”  
“Alright sassy, you win the athletic trophy.” You climb in through the now open window with minor difficulty.  
After that, both of you fall into an awkward silence as you explore the first floor.

You should’ve worn better shoes. All these flakes of old paint watered down by the rain, that probably leaked from the roof, squelch under each step. It’s super gross and you think some of it is leaking into your converses.

“Why the fuck do they have all these fireplaces?”  
“Dunno, maybe a family of Santa Claus’ lived here.”  
He doesn’t react.  
You two come across a hallway with no light. More specifically, the rooms connected to the hallways have boards nailed over their windows, so no light it shining into the hallway. Wow, what a fuckin' genius you are.  
“Did you bring a flashlight?”  
“No.”  
“Wow, usually when you go to abandoned places, you bring equipment with you to make it easier.”  
“Well I’m sorry princess, I didn’t think we’d actually get in. It’s not like this was a surprise to you, you coulda’ brought some stuff too.”  
“Oh yeah, rely on Karkat to always be fucking prepared huh?”  
“Dude, you okay?”  
“What?”  
“You were all smirks and teasin’ back there...now ya’ seem kinda’ on edge.”  
“I don’t know, this place just creeps me out I guess.” he shrugs.  
“Well then it’s doing it’s job.”  
He huffs and turns the flashlight from his phone on, going ahead of you. _Why didn’t I think of that?_  
“How many rooms do ya’ think are in this place?”  
“I don’t know...looks like a lot.”  
You look into the first room, seeing nothing but darkness. You bring out your phone because it would be stupid not to. You have a perfectly usable flashlight in your pocket dummy.  
There’s a fireplace in there too.  
“I’m sticking by my Santa Claus theory. Or maybe this is something straight out of Harry Potter...”  
“Or the family that lived here just liked fireplaces.”  
You two make it to the end of the hallway in a matter of a few minutes. You stopped looking into the rooms ‘cause there’s no point...it’s just boarded up windows, flaky paint, and fireplaces.  
“So...what happened at the lake?”  
“What?”  
“How did you end up fucking drowning? I thought you could swim?”  
“I can...it was just a cramp. No biggy.”  
“No biggy? You almost fucking died...”  
“Yeah...but I didn’t.” Karkat’s giving you the look that says ‘you’re the stupidest person on planet Earth.’  
“You do realize that if you die, that puts me through a fuckton of pain right?”  
Rose’s words flash through your mind ‘It was like someone took a knife to it, slowly dragging it ‘cross my skin.’  
“Yeah...I do.”  
  
The thought of Karkat in pain shoots a pain of your own through your heart. Just like when you saw his scars and realized what they were.

You step ahead, not wanting to get into a conversation like that right now. You climb the half-circle staircase, bringing you to another hallway identical to the one downstairs, but now there’s light coming through the rooms’ windows.  
“There’s nothing really worth shooting here dude, I mean...we could stand at the end of the hall and like pan towards us or something but I don’t really see anything else. The outside was pretty cool.”  
“Dave?”  
You turn reluctantly.  
“I know it’s none of my business but...” He looks down at the ground. “What are you going to do about your brother?”  
_Damn, he’s just full of random questions today._  
“Uh...Dirk said ta’ jus’ keep our heads down and don’t let Bro know.”  
“Well, yeah...I know that but what are _you_ going to do?”  
“...not following...?”  
“They have pictures of you sleeping? And you’re just gunna let them continue to do that?”  
“I don’t see what I could do to stop it,” you shrug.  
“So you’re not going to try and catch them? Set up cameras or go into hiding or something?”  
“No? I think that would definitely give me away dude.”  
“But-you’re in danger and your doing nothing to stop it!”  
“Karkat calm down. Derick would never hurt me.” You say it even though you’re not sure if it’s true. You haven’t really known him all that long, but he’s family and that’s gotta count for something right? “There’s gotta’ be some perfectly reasonable reason he’s doing this.”  
Your soulmate’s eyes searched your shades, probably trying to find an ‘im joking’ in there somewhere.  
“When someone takes photos of someone sleeping...there’s only a few reasons they do that...”  
“Like what?” You’re genuinely curious.  
“Um...hello? Predator profiling? They’re photos of you sleeping Dave! C’mon, you can’t be that blind...” You just noticed: he moves his hands a lot when he’s talking...or is that just when he’s yelling?  
“I’m just saying,” you talk slowly, “He’s family and I don’t think he would...do that...yknow? He doesn’t seem like the type, and he’s given me no other...like...bad vibes? The thing that freaks me the fuck out is Eridan’s brother...I’ve heard he’s a bit...pushy,” you grimace. “And he was the one in my room so...I don’t know.” Not to mention he's your gym teacher. The dude seemed pretty cool until now.   
Karkat sighs and continues walking. “Just...be careful.” After a sideways glance he adds, “Please?”  
“Well...since you asked so very nicely...I guess I could set up some hidden cameras or something.”

He seems to deflate after that, only talking when he finds cool places to record.

The first thing he points out is a room with curtains framing the window. They’re white and torn and leave pretty cool shadows on the opposite wall when the sun hits them just right. Then when you both get to the front of the building, there’s a grand switchback staircase. If you were looking at it from the bottom, you’d climb the big staircase, come to a landing, and then choose between two other cases to climb. You really like this one. It seems like a great backdrop, especially with the three gigantic windows framing the platform.  
Then, when you enter another wing, you point out a creepy chair with a doll sitting on it. You’re pretty sure stupid teenagers put it there to fuck with people, but it would make a great opening scene.  
The rest of the adventure was accompanied by useless jokes and a light mood. You both hear noises that you blame on birds but you have a weird feeling in your gut. It’s probably nothing. Probably just your nerves now that you know someone’s following you. If Karkat notices, he doesn’t say a damn word.


	48. Dave Strategies For Beginners

Your name is Dave Strider (as previously established like a bazillion times now) and you can’t keep up with all the bullshit that just keeps piling onto the mountain you call your life.  
  
It’s like that chubby bunny challenge or whatever the fuck: more and more problems keep showing up before you can fix the preexisting ones. Like shoving an ass load of marshmallows in your mouth, but your mouth is only so friggin’ big.

The whole night Sunday, you laid in bed and got lost in your thoughts. Thinking about all the shit’s that happened since school started.  
  
The fact that you actually almost died sank in around midnight. You realized that you would’ve left all this shit behind and you’re not really okay with that.  
You decide there’s four things that you have to do this week.

1.) Make good with Jade, ‘cause you still think she's pissed at you for the thing you said in the lunch room.  
2.) Apologize to Tavbro because even though it’s not your fault, you still feel bad and you really want to get that off your chest.  
3.) Figure out how to go with the flow once you figure out whatever’s goin’ on with Johnny-boy.  
4.) Figure out just what the fuck is going on between you and Karkat. How you feel about him and what to do about it, because you’re sure as hell not 100% straight. (Not after you got a boner after seeing him shirtless.)  
  
Monday you confront Jade and Tavros. Jade was in the lunchroom when you sat next to her and her nerd friends. It was pretty awkward with strangers staring at you questioningly. When you started complimenting how smart she was and hinting that she actually doesn’t talk too much, she put down her book and asked if you were alright. That made you feel a little sad...you wish you were a better person so people wouldn’t ask if you’re alright when you compliment them.  
Tavros was easier to talk to. You just had to sit next to him in music and let out a ‘sorry’.  
“What for?”  
“I should have gone with you that Thursday.”  
It took him a second to realize you were talking about THE Thursday. He then assured you that even if you were there, that dude was completely crazy and would’ve ran both of your asses over. He also said that it wasn’t your fault, you weren’t behind the wheel and you’re not a homicidal lunatic. That made you feel a little better.

So you’re sitting here at the lunch table full to the brim with all the weird people you’ve met over the past...three weeks? four? However long it’s been.  
It’s Tuesday and you SHOULD be thinking about what’s going on between you and Karkat, but you really don’t want to go down that road right now and besides: lists were made to be accomplished in chronological order right? So that means you have to wait until you figure out what’s going on with John first.

“David Strider, if you don’t notice my presence in point five seconds, I’m going to go over there and wipe those fucking shades right off your face!”  
Shit, you need to pay attention. Vriska's waving her hands in the air. “What?”   
“You got your day off, congradu-fucking-lations! But you have to come in tonight to make up for it.”  
“Alrighty.” Sweet, you didn’t actually think she’d say yes. Now you can hang with John when he gets back tomorrow. Awesome.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Terezi stops chewing her gummy bears.  
“Strider asked for tomorrow off to go spend it with his boyfriend.”  
You give a look of disgust. “Ew, he’s my best bro.”  
“Yeah, u-huh.”  
“Is...John getting back tomorrow?” Tavros asks.  
“Yea man, it’s gunna be lit.”  
Simultaneously, a couple phones ping around the table.  
“Speak of the devil,” Kanaya says.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started a memo GROUP A at 11:45--  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] joined the memo--  
\--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined the memo--  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo--  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo--  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined the memo--  
\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined the memo--  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] joined the memo--  
EB: boy, that was fast...  
\--adiosToreador [AT] joined the memo--  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] joined the memo--  
EB: well damn  
EB: i guess ill keep this short  
EB: since you guys are in school  
EB: im having another movie night this friday  
EB: and...you’re all invited.  
GC: 1M FL4TT3R3D  
TA: any detaiil2 we need two know??  
EB: ????????  
TA: liike what two briing??  
EB: uh  
EB: same as last time????????  
CA: again wwhats the point of this memo  
GA: Don’t Be Rude.  
CG: HOW WAS YOUR GRANDMAS?  
CA: wwhat this memo is pointless  
CA: just stating a fact  
EB: i learned a lot  
EB: and it was actually pretty fun tbh  
AT: hI jOHN!  
EB: hey tavvy  
EB: so are you all going to be there on friday????????  
GA: Of Course.  
TT: I’m pretty sure no one would miss it.  
EB: yeah?  
AT: yUP.  
CA: are wwe done  
CA: can i go noww?  
GC: J3SUS, 4ND 1 THOUGHT K4RK1TTY W4S TH3 GRUMPY ON3...  
CG: WHO SHOVED A STICK UP YOUR ASS NOW?  
AT: wE CAN ALL SEE YOU GRUMBLING OVER THERE...  
TT: This is true.

You can feel two eyes on the side of your head. You should probably say something shouldn’t you?

TG: i have a proposal  
EB: propose away :B  
TG: everyone has to bring a DIFFERENT movie this time  
TG: even tho that means no princess bride  
TG: i think its for the best  
CA: thats actually not a bad idea strider  
EB: yea sounds fun!!!  
TG: of course its not a bad idea  
TG: it came from my amazing mind  
EB: dave could you possibly let dirk and rox know?  
TG: sure thing man  
GA: The Bell Just Rang, We Should Go To Class.  
EB: okay!  
EB: i’ll see you guys friday...er...tomorrow  
AT: sEE YA  
\--adiosToreador [AT] exited the memo--  
TG: peace  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] exited the memo--

You go to photography with an upset stomach and you don’t really know why. It’s great that John’s coming back but...what should you expect? Is this going to keep happening or is John A-okay? Is he going to be different now? Are you going to have to change? No, that’s stupid, why would you have to change?  
God dammit Strider, just stop worrying and get your shit together.


	49. How To Turn Your Karkat From Zero To Hero

John arrives home four hours before school on Wednesday. You know this because he’s texting you and you just so happen to be up.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 3:28--  
EB: hey karkat!  
EB: i just got home, are you up????????  
CG: WHY WOULDN’T I BE?  
EB: well we have school today of course! you should be sleeping.  
CG: I DID SLEEP.  
CG: WHY’D YOU TEXT ME?  
EB: uh...  
EB: i know we aren’t exactly on good terms but...  
EB: i have a favor to ask you.  
CG: ...  
CG: ASK AWAY.  
EB: ok...uh  
EB: i don’t know how to say this without sounding completely bonkers.  
EB: heh, i said the word bonkers...  
CG: ARE YOU GUNNA ASK ME OR NOT?  
EB: ok...focus...yes.  
EB: serious time.  
EB: so it seems we share the same goals concerning our good friend dave...  
EB: im gunna ask you to do something really difficult...but its really important that you do this.  
CG: OK? WHAT IS IT?  
CG: JOHN?  
EB: if i ever do...that...again, i want you to be the one to stop me.  
EB: not dave.  
EB: it hurts him too much.  
EB: do you think you can do that for me????????  
CG: Um.  
CG: So you’re saying it’s going to happen again?  
EB: no...i mean it MAY...but hopefully not???  
EB: is that a no?  
EB: i know i basically kicked dave’s ass and i’m sorry  
EB: i really didn’t want to do that...it just sort of  
EB: happened...  
CG: I’ll do it.  
EB: you will?  
CG: Didn’t I just say I would?  
CG: “I’ll do it” isn’t THAT cryptic.  
EB: haha :B ok  
EB: thanks.  
CG: Yeah.  
EB: im gunna at least TRY to sleep  
EB: goodnight karkat!  
CG: Goodnight John.  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 3: 41--

And so now you’re left to think about what he just said. Your mind takes you back to the day John had his mental breakdown.

You and Sollux had just left the school when you got the texts.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 3:19--  
EB: karat  
EB: help  
EB: johni s  
EB: wer in troble  
EB: karkat  
EB: we’re fine  
EB: davs just being

You just thought John and Dave were being idiots, probably fighting over the phone or something, you didn’t really think THAT was happening. You don’t think anyone’s first thought would be “John’s trying to kill himself”.

CG: I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?  
EB: karkat this is dave  
EB: john is trying to kill himself and this is not a fucking joke

At that point you started to get worried...you’ve never seen him text like that before. You showed Sollux the texts and he looked scared.  
“KK, thith...giveth me a bad feeling.”  
“They may just be joking...”  
“No...why would they? Did you thee John’th face when he pulled Thtrider out of clathh?”  
“He...was smiling?”  
“Not really,” he took the phone from you and typed something in.

CG: WHERE ARE YOU??  
EB: the park i need you to come  
EB: fuck  
EB: fuck fuckfuck  
EB: hurry  
CG: THE PARK DOWN THE 2TREET??  
CG: 2TRIIDER??

Sollux gave you a look that sent your hairs on edge, and you two started running. “john is trying to kill himself and this is not a fucking joke” doesn’t seem like what someone would say during a stupid fight over a phone. If anything, that was Dave actually freaking out and Dave Strider doesn’t “freak out”.

When you two arrived at the park you thought he meant, you searched frantically for the two. When you didn’t see them, you kind of panicked a little bit, but then Sollux grabbed your shoulder and pointed to where the field connected to the woods. You saw two figures: one with a white shirt and one with a red hoodie. It seemed to you that John was...kicking Dave Strider’s ass. It was almost a laughable moment...almost.

You and your best friend skidded to a halt next to them when Dave pinned the other to the ground.  
“Thtrider?”  
At that point, your soulmate looked up with the most...human...look in his eyes. His shades had been knocked off of his face sometime during the tussle, his lip was bleeding, and he had a few red patches here and there. How was John trying to kill himself? It looked like he was trying to kill Dave...  
“What the fuck...is going on?”  
“John...John is trying...to kill himself...” He said out-of-breath.  
“IT’S MY CHOICE!”  
Then your soulmate did something you’ve never seen him do: yell.  
“No it’s not!”

You were about to say something along the lines of “John, what the fuck is going on?” (because Strider’s explanation was really lacking), but Dave groans and his elbows give out. John screams and pushes the slack body off of him, now looking extremely scared.  
“Ohmygodishedead?!”

Then your body just...acted on its own accord. Next thing you knew, you were checking for a pulse and trying to wake him up. He opened his eyes for a couple seconds but you don’t think your words were registering in his mind.  
Your heart nearly jumped into your throat when his head just kind of...lolled to the side.

You thought it was you who was screaming, but it was actually John. You just sat there paralyzed. Sollux seemed to be the only one capable of moving and productive thought.

The next couple of hours went by really slow and too fast at the same time. You could probably call that the scariest day of your life, if not for the accident.  
It was stupid now that you think about it. Dave was just fine, he just had a concussion...but you still had the sinking feeling he wouldn’t wake up...just like Kankri.

For the rest of the morning, you read a book you’ve been meaning to finish, while trying to keep those thoughts away. It wouldn’t be smart to start out the day with that kind of shit on your mind. (Kind of too late for that though.)


	50. Some People Excel At Karkat & Some Don't - Which One Are You?

You and Sollux walk to school in silence, as always. You stand in the front and wait for the other idiots to arrive, as always...but it’s odd watching John walk up after a week and a half of not seeing him. _It was Monday right? It seems like a lot longer than that..._

“Hi!” He says. It’s the weirdest thing you’ve heard in a while.  
“Hello John, it’s nice to see you.” Tavros smiles.  
“You too!”  
“As per-fucking-usual, your voice is too fucking loud for seven a.m..”  
“Sorry Karkat,” the way he looks at you...it’s like he’s saying thank you for treating him no different than before. Was he really on edge about that? Sure, he beat your soulmate into a concussed mess but you’ve been in John’s shoes before. Maybe you should tell him what you did to Sollux so he doesn’t worry about your opinion of him, and he knows that you understand his situation. But that would require you to relive what happened...

A familiar orange muscle car rolls up to the drop off section of the sidewalk. The bass coming from it is vibrating your shoes and only get’s worse when the side door opens. Dave climbs out and makes his way over just like any other day.

From your peripheral vision you see John tense up.  
“Sup John?”  
“Nothing much,” he says a shrug. He’s got this awkward smile plastered on his face that’s uneven and seems 100% fake.  
“Tho...howth Broderick?”  
“Uh...pretty good. Hasn’t been actin’ anything but normal...” He seems like he's about to add more, but doesn't.  
“Huh?” John cocks his head. _Wait...does John even know what’s going on with Broderick?_  
“He doesn’t know?” You ask.  
A shrug, “Seemed like he had more important things ta’ think about.”  
“I wanna know,” John pouts.  
“Chill dude, I’ll tell ya’ in first period.”  
  
The bell rings, letting everyone know it’s time to get your asses moving. You feel Dave look at you a bit longer than you’d like, but you don’t meet his shades. After a small conversation about lunch plans, you wave and head off to Honors English, ready to get this day over with.

Your first class is as interesting as it always is. You’ve always adored the subject, that’s why you picked this as your first class. It took the edge out of waking up at six-fucking-a.m. and dealing with idiotic teenagers when you aren’t completely awake yet.  
Art was as fist-balling as it always is. Gamzee’s your friend and all, but god-fucking-damn does he need to chill. He’s pretty “chill” before school but around second period he gets all whacked out. You’ve heard that he gets in fights in his fourth period. But after lunch he’ll be just fine again.

When lunch finally rolls around, everyone makes their way outside to eat in the shade of one of the trees outside. It turned out to be a really hot day. Too hot for your stupid long-sleeve shirt, but you’ve gotten used to _literally dying of heat stroke_ over the past month.  
Today’s lunch conversation is just as chaotic as ever. This time it’s about what went down the last time Dave’s sister brought booze. As you know, John ripped his chandelier out of the fucking ceiling somehow and Dave began sobbing the moment they ran out of apple juice, so the new shit that comes up actually doesn’t surprise you all that much.  
“So Karkat...Dave...How’s your project coming along?” Rose asks, but looks directly at you.  
“It’s going...I guess. Why?”  
“Oh, no reason. I was just intrigued on how well you two are communicating on the matter.”  
“Uh...what the hell is that suppose to mean?”  
She shrugs but continues to smile. “Are you going to visit any time soon?”  
“Rose.” Dave’s voice has warning behind it.  
“It’s a completely relevant question Dave. You’re the only one with the recording equipment I assume.”  
He nods reluctantly. You’re beyond confused.  
“We have to figure out what song we’re doing first.” You roll your eyes, shoving some popcorn chicken into your mouth. _Can’t really do any recording without something to record._  
“I see, I see. I could be of some help,” She raises her eyebrows. Kanaya is silently smiling beside her. _What exactly are they playing at?_  
You give her your skeptical face, “How?”  
“If you’d like,” you don’t like the twinkle in her eye. “I could coach you two on _harmonizing_ with each other and that would make it easier on picking a song. Knowing what notes you can and can’t do...”  
  
You look at Dave, who has his arms crossed and his eyebrows above his shades. It sounds like a good idea but you don’t really know what you’re getting yourself into. The look in Rose’s eyes doesn’t look...innocent?  
Dave pulls out his phone.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:39--  
TG: ok  
TG: heres wat were gunna do  
CG: DAVE, YOU’RE SITTING *right* NEXT TO ME.  
CG: LITERALLY TWO FEET.  
TG: ik jus go with it  
TG: my sister is a conniving little scandalist  
TG: shes got that look in her eye  
TG: ok so  
TG: i think what shes gettin at is  
TG: she wants u to come over to our house so she can manipulate us  
TG: no  
TG: stop typing  
TG: jus listen  
TG: shes not gunna let this one go until we humor her  
TG: so  
CG: SO...  
CG: ???  
CG: STOP BITING YOUR LIP AND TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON...  
TG: alright  
TG: i got it  
TG: lets make a pact to sing during lunch  
TG: its not like you could come over anyway  
TG: i have work  
CG: I’M STILL CONFUSED.  
TG: ok  
TG: ill say out right then  
TG: ...  
TG: rose is trying to get us together by manipulating us into hanging out “for the project”  
TG: i know how she thinks  
TG: partially  
TG: and im not stupid  
TG: we gotta be smart about this  
TG: wait  
TG: why are you smiling????  
TG: stop it  
CG: DAVE.  
CG: IF SHE WANTS TO “MANIPULATE US INTO GETTING TOGETHER” THEN LET HER TRY.  
CG: I MEAN...WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?  
CG: YOU’RE NOT GAY RIGHT?  
CG: SO WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED?  
TG: ...  
TG: my sister has very good influence over me  
CG: SO YOU’RE WORRIED YOUR SISTER WILL TURN YOU GAY?  
TG: no  
TG: im worried you will turn me gay  
TG: wait  
TG: shit  
TG: i hit send before i even thought about what i was saying  
TG: im worried my sister will make you turn me gay**  
TG: shit  
TG: that wasnt any better  
TG: stop smiling  
CG: YOU’RE SMILING TOO.  
TG: shut up  
TG: its called smirking  
TG: its cool  
CG: UHUH.  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 11:44--  
  
“So?” Rose asks. _She’s not gunna let this one go until we humor her._  
“How about lunch?” You say.  
“What are you proposing exactly?”  
You try to put as much "sass" into your words as you can. “Well, since Strider has work and all...we could just “harmonize”, or whatever the fuck you _think_ you’re helping us with, during lunch. Even though I’m pretty sure there’s no point. We can probably _harmonize_ just fucking fine by ourselves...it is **our** project after all.”  
Rose looks stunned, or is that the look of defeat?  
“Alright, It seems I’ve over-stepped the line. I apologize for being intrusive. I’ll...leave you to your project,” then she smiles and shifts her gaze from you to Dave to you again.  
You look over to see Dave with his hand over his mouth. _Is he hiding a full-blown smile?_


	51. Mind If Vantas Tags Along?

When you entered Cinema class, there was something exponentially off. Usually there’s kids propped up on desks hyped for whatever movie’s playing today, but everyone’s sitting in their desks and facing the front like responsible pupils. Everyone has a packet in front of them, which is odd because half the class doesn’t even pick those up.  
You look around and try to assess the situation.

There’s some creepy dude typing away at the teacher’s computer. His shoulders are hunched, making his face hard to see from behind the screen. Is he some kind of substitute?  
“Who the fuck is this tool?” You whisper over to Kanaya.  
“Honestly, I’m still trying to figure that out. I’ve never seen him here before.”  
“Where’s Miss. Serket?”  
“Vris said the salon was a little short-handed since Dave took the day off. I think she said something about her sleeping in.”  
The final bell rings and a few more kids slip inside the door.

It takes a solid five minutes of everyone looking around confused before the man stands up and walks to the front of the room. He’s got a black long-sleeve underneath some stupid gaming tee-shirt. (It kind of reminds you of what Sollux used to wear in middle school.)  
He stands center-stage for a few seconds, turns, picks up a marker, and begins to write.

H U S S I E

He then sets down the marker and proceeds to do the “will smith showing off his wife” pose towards the board. (Of course you would know what that is Karkat.)  
A few nervous laughs echo through the class.

You shoot a wary glance towards Kanaya and you’re met with the same look. _What the fuck is going on?_

Needless to say, that was the longest fucking class you’ve ever set foot in. The fucker didn’t even talk; it was eerie as shit...and also...dramatic as shit.  
You’ve never been so happy to sit down in Photography before.  
  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 1:21--  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 1:21--  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 1:21--  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:22--  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering adiosToreador [AT] at 1:22--  
TG: how tf are you doin this?????  
CG: YOU COULD’VE JUST MADE A FUCKING GROUP CHAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON DIPSHIT.  
TA: ii fiind thii2 ten tiime2 ea2iier  
GC: WH4T3V3R YOU S4Y C4P  
TA: no 2eriiou2ly  
TA: all ii have two do ii2 pe2ter 2omeone and then type iin <invite:ectoBiologist/> iintwo the co2tomiizatiion menu  
TA: iit2 really 2iimple  
CG: YEAH?  
TA: ye2  
CG: HEY.  
CG: HEY NERD.  
TA: ye2??  
CG: *fuck you*  
TA: fuck you two kk  
AT: i THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE JUST FRIENDS,,,  
AT: }:]  
CG: HEY NITRAM.  
CG: KINDLY FUCK OFF.  
TA: he get2 a “kiindly”??  
CG: YES.  
GC: 4R3 YOU DON3 B31NG 4SSHOL3S TO 34CHOTH3R?  
TG: yea im kinda feelin left out tbh  
TA: ye2  
CG: NO.  
TA: john  
TA: youre on  
EB: ok...  
EB: me and dave already made plans to hang out today, so i was wondering if you guys would like to come with????????  
CG: THIS ISN’T ANOTHER WATER GUN SHOWDOWN IS IT?  
EB: unfortunately not.. :(  
CG: K, I’M IN.  
TA: diid you ju2t u2e the 2hortcut “k”??  
CG: SHUT UP AND FOCUS PINDICK.  
GC: VR1SK4 N33DS 4LL TH3 H4NDS SH3 C4N G3T...  
GC: SORRY :1  
EB: thats ok...i’ll also see you friday :B  
GC: Y34 DUD3, 1’M SUP3R PUMP3D UP FOR FR1D4Y!  
GC: ROX 1S BR1NG1N BOOZ3 TH1S T1M3!  
TG: wait  
TG: when did you guys decide this????  
TG: this is a VERY bad idea  
EB: i was against it too but...  
EB: apparently i have no say in the matter anymore. :(  
GC: YOU W3R3 4W4Y FOR L1K3...TWO W33KS  
GC: OF COURS3 W3’R3 GO1NG TO C3LEBR4T3!  
EB: one and a half  
EB: and a normal movie night IS celebrating!!  
TA: iidk ii thiink thii2 could bee fun...  
GC: T4V3RS  
GC: CMON B4CK M3 UP H3R3...  
AT: i GUESS LAST TIME WAS PRETTY FUN...  
GC: S33! 3V3N TH3 1NNOC3NT ON3 H4S B33N CORUPT3D!  
TG: i still dont think this is a good idea  
GC: 1 M34N 4S LONG 4S W3’R3 S4F3...1 DON’T S33 TH3 H4RM 1N 1T.  
TA: true  
GC: 4ND 4NYW4YS, 1T’S NOT UP FOR D3B4T3...1T’S 4LR34DY D3C1D3D.  
GC: 1T’S H4PP3N1NG.  
EB: *sigh*  
EB: kay, who’s coming to hang out with me and dave today?  
EB: karkat already said yes  
EB: what about you sollux????????  
TA: yea, ed2 got 2wim tryout2 2o ii’m free  
CG: YOU HAD TO ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS?  
TA: no  
TA: iif ed diin’t have practiice, then ii’d have two piick beetween you guy2 and hiim. but 2iince he’2 bu2y, he’2 out of the que2tiion.  
CG: I SEE.  
CG: NICE TO KNOW WE’RE YOUR SECOND CHOICE...  
TA: ii 2aiid ii’d PIICK beetween the two...  
CG: YEA WVR.  
CG: TAVROS ARE YOU COMING WITH US?  
AT: uHH,,,  
AT: iM NOT SURE,  
AT: i’D NEED TRANSPORTATION HOME  
AT: bUT I DON’T THINK YOU HAVE A HANDICAP-PIMPED VAN LIKE MY DAD.  
AT: uNLESS YOU’VE GOT ONE IN YOUR BACK POCKET BUT I DOUBT IT,,,  
EB: no...sorry, i don’t  
EB: :,(  
AT: tHAT’S OKAY JOHN  
AT: rEALLY  
AT: i’LL SEE YOU ON FRIDAY TOO SO {:)  
EB: ok! haha :B  
TG: wow  
TG: this chat is a mess  
TA: ii agree  
TA: iill end iit now iif that2 ok john??  
EB: yea, ttyl  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist at 1:59--  
(4 Chums Removed From Chat)  
  
You sigh and lay your phone face-down. You’re done with today honestly. You woke up at like two o’clock in the morning, had that stupid conversation with John, and you’ve been dragging your feet all day. You’re ready for a fuckin’ nap.  
“Vantas,” Ms. Megido asks with her smooth fucking voice. (That wasn’t a derogatory “fucking” either, that legitimately means “smooth AND fucking voice”.) You don’t even know why she uses it as school, it’s really off-putting.  
“Hm?”  
“Isn’t it time to skidattle?”  
You look up at the time. Ah shit...you usually leave for the nurses around 1:45. You’re gunna have to hurry up.  
You gather your stuff and walk down to see Ms. Maryam.


	52. "Rodger that Karks."

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering autonomousArbiter [AA] at 3:09--  
CG: I’M GOING TO BE HOME LATE.  
AA: H9w late?  
CG: I DON’T KNOW.  
CG: MAYBE EIGHT?  
AA: Alright, I’ll put s9mething in the fridge f9r y9u.  
CG: K THANKS.  
AA: I’m 9ff 9n Saturday if y9u want t9 d9 s9mething.  
AA: I was thinking may6e we c9uld g9 9ut t9 eat?  
CG: YEAH, SURE. I’M GOING TO JOHN’S MOVIE NIGHT ON FRIDAY. YOU COULD PICK ME UP IF YOU WANT?  
AA: Great, s9unds g99d. I’ll see y9u at 8.  
CG: YEA.  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering autonomousArbiter [AA] at 3:18--

You put your phone back into your pocket and catch up to the long-legged fuckers you’re suppose to be following.  
“...really? That happened?” John asks in disbelief. Dave nods and presses his lips together.  
“KK thort of thtarted freaking out when ED wath bringing him back in.”  
You realize what they’re talking about and avoid eye contact. It’s true: you were a complete mess back there. Your heart could’ve broke through your rib cage it was pounding so hard.  
You haven’t really known Dave that long, but you were so scared of losing him. You’ve been blaming it on the fact that he’s your soulmate...but maybe there’s some truth in what Sollux keeps saying.  
“That must’ve been scary,” John puts his hand on your back, “the thought of losing your soulmate?” You nod slightly.  
“Well, I’m right here so...s’all good.”  
You glance up at Dave’s shades and he flashes you a stupid smirk.  
“Where the fuck are we going anyways?” You roll your eyes, dismissing the other conversation.  
“Well I wath thinking we could play thome video gameth at my houthe.”  
“Oh yea! I totally forgot, don’t you have like...a bad ass collection?”  
“’Bad ass’ is an understatement,” you mutter. Strider snickers.  
“Okay sounds fun!” John says with his annoyingly-loud voice. He skips ahead like a fucking 6-year-old girl.  
The good thing about going to Sollux’s is that if anything goes awry, you can just go home. You can literally SEE your room from his window.

When you make it to your street, you start feeling a bit self-conscious. Dave is about to see your house and why the fuck are you freaking out? He’s seen a house before, yours isn’t any different. It’s just a fucking house, chill.  
“Hey KK, lookth like your dad’th home...” He points.  
“No shit Sol, I see his fucking car...”  
“Hey, did you guyth know Ken workth for the army?”  
“No? Wait...Karkat, why didn’t you tell me?” John asks.  
“Because it doesn’t matter? It’s just like any other fucking job guys, jeez.”  
“Guethh what he workth ath..”  
“Uh...I’ve never really met Mr.Vantas so...I don’t know.”  
Sollux raises his eyebrows at you. You don’t know what he’s playing at, but you’re not in the mood to call him out on it.  
“He’s a Special Forces Communications Sergeant.”  
“Oh wooooow Karkat, that’s so cool!”  
“Not really, he just sits around and makes sure all the radios are working and everyone can hear everyone. Most of the time he gets off early because there’s nothing to fucking do.”  
“That’s still pretty cool dude,” Dave shrugs.  
You also shrug.  
“Hey Karkat, what do you want to be when you grow up?” John asks as you walk up to the Captor house.  
You’ve thought about it a little bit, but you haven’t really picked one career.  
“I guess...something in the movie industry? Or...literature? I have no clue.”  
“Dude,” Strider stops, “Imagine Karkitty as a librarian...with glasses and yells at people who won’t shut up.”  
Everyone chuckles and John outright laughs.  
“Hey. Fuck you Dave,” you give him the middle finger.  
“Buy me dinner first.”  
Fuck.  
Sollux get’s the door open and you trudge inside and up to his room. Along the way, Asshole comes up to you and demands you pick him up. You do, and then you plop down on Sollux’s bed and wait for the idiots to follow suit.  
Asshole sits on your chest while you pet him...or her. Honestly, you have no idea. Sollux’s family can’t even get close enough to pet him/her. Let’s try “it”. It was their fault for getting a Siamese. These fuckers don’t really like a lot of attention.

“-ot all of the Fall Out’th,” Sollux barges through with John and Dave in tow. “All of the Zelda’th and Athhathhinth Creed...aaaaand Mario Cart?”  
John stares in awe at your best friend’s bookcase of over 200 games.  
“KK’th favorite...” Sollux grins as he holds up Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3. A matching grin unintentionally makes its way onto your face.  
“I could smoke all of your asses at the game.”  
“I will confirm thith.” He sets it down and shows John another handful of games. Dave has taken a seat at Sol’s desk and is playing with the Rubiks cube.  
“Dave, what game do you wanna play?” John asks.  
He shrugs, “Doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not boring.”  
  
You end up sitting on the floor playing your favorite game with John as Sollux and Dave watch from the bed. Asshole has laid himself on your crossed legs.  
You take your favorite spot holding down a store in the corner of the map. John laughs that you’re a “squatter” and runs around without any backup. In a matter of two rounds he’s gone down three times, in which you had to go and save his ass.  
“John, stop being a noob and listen to what I say. Pick up one the enemies M3’s instead of that stupid pistol. Come cover my ass at the store and on your way back, pick up a predator missile.”  
“Why?”  
“Because the next round, it’s two choppers and we don’t have enough fucking ammo, c’mon you only have twenty seconds!”

John dies before he can even find the air support crate.

“GOD-FUCKING-DAMN IT JOHN WHY DIDN’T YOU MOVE?!”  
“I was trying!” He’s still laughing.  
“LEVEL 6?! THAT’S ALL YOU COULD DO?!”  
“It was my first time!”  
“Ok, ok...it’th my turn.” Sollux takes the sweaty remote from John and sits down next to you. “What you don’t know ith that I’ve been practithing almotht every night...”  
“Ok? That could only improve the situation...?”  
He gives you an evil smirk.  
“Sollux this isn’t PVP you stupid ass. There’s a thing called teamwork!”  
“Uhuh, jutht thtart the game puthhy.”  
You heave a sigh and hit restart.  
“Try not to break the controller thith time.”

“WHAT THE FUCK SOL?! FRIENDLY FIRE MEANS STOP FUCKING SHOOTING! WE DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT TO LEVEL 2!”  
Your best friend just murdered you in cold blood and is now laughing hysterically next to you. Despite your yelling, you can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. He’s such an idiot.  
“God, damn it.” You face palm, still smiling.  
“Kay, my turn.” Dave slides down to the floor and rolls Sollux’s lanky body out of the way. He wipes the controller on his pants and situates himself next to you. His knee barely touching yours.  
“If you don’t take this seriously, I swear to all that is grand and holy, I will strangle you.”  
“Oooh, kinky...”  
“Shut up,” you chuckle. God damn, you’re really happy right now aren’t you?  
  
Before you know it, you two are on level 20 and there’s three juggernauts surrounding you.  
“OH DAMN IT OH FUCK NO GO AROUND BACK AROUND BACK! LETS GO OUT THE SIDE DOOR HOLY SHIT THERE RIGHT THERE NEVER MIND! AH FUCK DAVE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”  
“I’m gunna try’n get a predator.”  
“NO, THERE’S ONE BY THE CRATE! AH GOD-”  
“Whoops...press “Y” to call to your wing man...”  
You take a deep breath and try to figure out a good way to get around these fuckers. “Okay, I got it: you only have to press it once...goddamn. You’re by the bombs right?”  
“Yea...”  
“Shit! They’re surrounding you. How am I suppose to get to you?”  
“Dunno dude...” You feel him staring a hole into the side of your face.  
“Ok, crawl behind the van and then maybe I can save you before they can see me...”  
“No problem man...but like...there’s a timer.”  
“I KNOW THERE’S A TIMER, I SEE IT!”  
“KK, your dad’th calling...”  
Sollux opens his window, “He’th playing a game...”  
“Hey Karkat?” Your dad hollers.  
“YEAH?!”  
“I’m headed to bed, I’ll leave the front door unlocked.”  
“KAY!”  
You do a little lap around the map and then run up to Strider just before the time runs out. You revive him but the juggernauts started running and now two of them are just around the corner. “Okay, Strider...I’ll go first and run inside the building. You go get the predator.”  
“Rodger that Karks."  
You two end up killing 1 out of 3. You were the one “calling to your wing man” this time and Strider made a bee line for you without getting the juggernauts off his trail.  
All in all...it was the best game you’ve played in a while. You and Dave actually high-fived.

That night, you entered your house with a smile on your lips.


	53. The Observation Of Karkat

Thursday, you woke up around 1 a.m. after going to bed only three hours earlier. You start wondering whether your insomnia meds are working or if they’re just giving you side effects. Side effects which you have to take ANOTHER type of medication just to cancel out. God, you hate this. Why can’t you be normal?  
  
You try to go back to sleep, you really do. You lay there for about forty-five minutes with your eyes closed and everything, but that’s all that happens.  
You huff and climb out of bed, choosing to watch a movie on your computer instead of dying of boredom. When your alarm goes off, you hop in the shower, grab a banana, and leave for school.  
Sollux is in a good enough mood to actually talk to you. About what, you don’t know...it’s kind of a strangled string of utterances and you’re too exhausted to even try and understand.

The first thing you hear when you and Sollux approach is John’s voice. “Whoa, Karkat...are you...okay?”  
Everyone’s looking at you weird. “What? You haven’t seen a tired person before?”  
Dave clears his throat, “Nah dude it’s jus’...you look like yer dyin’.”  
“Wow, thanks for the lovely observation, that gives me so much confidence.”  
“Jus’ pointin’ it out like it is.”  
“Hey Kar, can wwe talk?”  
“When did you get here? Also, why did you,” you point at Dave, “get here so early?”  
“Dude, you’re the one who’s late.”  
“Yeah KK, you were walking pretty thlow.”  
“Kar,” Eridan chirps, motioning you over to the side. He looks like he’s in a hurry so you follow him.  
When you’re about ten feet from the group, he turns around and puts his hand on your shoulder. You look at it confused.  
“I wwent through Cro’s phone because it wwas jus’ sittin on the counter and...”  
“And?” He looks constipated. Given, Eridan usually looks like this.  
“...and there’s photos.”  
“Uhuh...what’s new?”  
Another constipated look. “...of you.”

Wait. What?  
“Of...me?”  
“Yeah.”  
“What do ya’ mean?”  
“I mean there are photos...of you...on my brother’s phone. Some of them are wwith Strider, but...there’s some of just you.”  
Shit. Fuck. Goddamn. Why would he be stalking you? Are you his victim? Or is Dave? What if he’s planning on kidnapping you both? Holy shit.  
“Kar calm down, I’m gunna start a group chat first hour...er...wwould it be better to wwait til’ lunch? I don’ think you’d be up for talkin’ about it out loud wwould ya’?”  
You shake your head.  
“Okay, then first hour it is...hey, you okay?”  
You look at him like he’s crazy.  
“No, I am certainly not okay! You don’t just tell someone something like this and expect that they don’t over think it!”  
“Shh, Karkat...Jesus. You’re attractin’ attention.”  
You open your mouth to protest but nothing comes out. You shake your head and turn away, trudging right through your friend group and into the building.

In English, you clutch your phone in your hand for about fifteen minutes before it vibrates and lights up.

\--caligulasAquarium [CA] opened a memo wwhat i found at 7:19--  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] joined the memo--  
\--timeausTestified [TT] joined the memo--  
CA: i didn’t invvite evveryone cause 1) that’d be chaos  
CA: an 2) i don think evveryone needs two knoww  
\--caricnoGeneticist [CG] joined the memo--  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] joined the memo--  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] joined the memo--  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo--  
EB: what did you find? :D  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo--  
TT: Where’s Kanaya?  
CA: i forgot  
CA: hold on  
CA: there  
CA: i invvited her  
\--timeausTestified [TT] is now timeausTestified2 [TT2]--  
TG: dude whats up  
TG: whats this for???  
\--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined the memo--  
CA: since evveryone is here  
CA: actually  
CA: kar  
CA: you wwanna do the honors?  
CG: NO, NOT PARTICULARLY.  
CA: alright  
CA: so cro’s phone wwas jus sittin on the counter beckoning to me so  
CA: i took a look around...  
CA: and  
CA: i found photos...  
CG: JUST RIP OFF THE FUCKING BAND AID. GODDAMN. STOP DRAGGING THIS OUT.  
CA: i found photos of karkat  
CA: some wwere of him sleeping and some wwere just random shots throughout the day  
CA: most wwere wwhen he wwas wwith davve  
CA: i also...  
CA: found photos of sol  
CA: many of sol  
CG: YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THIS...  
TA: waiit what??  
TA: why me??  
CA: i dunno  
TT2: What else can you tell us? Either about the photos or other things you found?  
CA: yea actually  
CA: there wwere pictures of computers and pill bottles? and...  
CA: the folder wwhere all the photos wwere wwas called “spy spying”  
TT2: Not very camouflage...  
GA: And Kind Of Redundant.  
TT: Maybe it has a specific meaning.  
TT2: Karkat, have you found any signs of being watched? Things out-of-place, noises, the feeling of being watched?  
CG: NO...NOT AT ALL.  
CG: IT’S QUITE A FUCKING SURPRISE TO ME.  
TT: What do you think his intentions are?  
TT: Broderick, I mean.  
CG: WHO ARE YOU ASKING?  
TT: Dirk.  
TT2: Honestly, I have no fucking clue. Pill bottles and computers? Pics of Dave and Karkat sleeping? All this shit put together doesn’t really make any sense.  
CG: THEY WERE PROBABLY MY PILL BOTTLES.  
CG: JUST ANOTHER FORM OF ‘STALKING’.  
GA: Well, It Seems To Me That They Are Trying To Learn All They Can On You Then.  
GA: It’s Apparent They’re Aiming For More Information.  
GA: Maybe They’re Profiling?  
TT2: Yea, but why?  
CG: THAT SEEMS TO BE THE REOCCURRING QUESTION, DOESN’T IT?  
CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE TAKE SURVEILLANCE PHOTOS OF THEIR YOUNGER SIBLING AND HIS AFFILIATES?  
CG: LIKE HIS SOULMATE...  
CG: AND HIS SOULMATE’S BEST FRIEND...  
CA: there wwere a lot of photos  
CA: there coulda been some of everyone from our friend group  
CA: i just had limited time to snoop  
CG: WELL THAT’S JUST FUCKING FANTASTIC.  
EB: hey  
EB: i have an idea...  
TA: oh boii  
EB: let’s set a trap!  
EB: tomorrow, at the movie night  
EB: why dont we look out for dave and karkat?  
CA: an’ sol  
EB: and sollux, of course.  
EB: i mean  
EB: it’s the perfect place isn’t it????????  
EB: all of us are going to be together and we can keep each other safe!  
EB: what do you say????  
CG: IT’S BETTER THAN NOTHING.  
GA: I Agree.  
TA: que2tiion...  
TA: how are we 2uppo2e two keep track of everyone whiile were all hammered??  
EB: shit  
EB: did not think of that...  
GA: I Will Appoint Myself The “Designated Driver” For The Night, So To Speak.  
GA: I Will Be Happy To Keep An Eye Out For Everyone.  
TT: I too will appoint myself a DD.  
TT2: Really?  
TT2: You?  
TT: Yes, me. You have a problem with that?  
TT2: No, not at all.  
CG: AND WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSE TO ACCOMPLISH EXACTLY?  
EB: idk, maybe we can catch cronus er...  
EB: something...  
EB: so are we doing this????????  
CG: I ALREADY SAID SURE, IT’’S NOT LIKE WE HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE.  
TA: iit wouldnt hurt  
EB: dave?  
CG: HEY FUCKFACE, PICK UP YOUR GODDAMN PHONE.  
TG: none of this wouldve happened if it wasnt for me  
CG: WAIT.  
CG: Hey...  
CG: Don’t tell me you’re trying to blame yourself for this.  
CG: It’s out of your fucking control Dave.  
CG: You need to stop blaming yourself for everything.  
CG: First it was Tavros, then John, and now this.  
CG: Nothing you did brought any of that on.  
CG: Tell me you understand that.  
CA: im vvery confused  
EB: i actually didn’t go to my grandma’s  
EB: me and jade broke up and i had an episode  
EB: so i went to the hospital  
CA: ?  
EB: mental hospital*  
CA: oh  
CA: wwhy didn’t you tell me?  
EB: it doesn’t matter right now  
CG: Dave.  
CG: This.  
CG: Is.  
CG: Not.  
CG: Your.  
CG: Fault.  
CG: Do you understand?  
TG: yea  
CG: “yea” Isn’t going to cut it.  
TG: yes  
TG: i understand  
TG: thanks karkat  
TT: Can I just say you two are adorable?  
CG: ...  
GA: Yes, Indeed.  
CG: YEA I'M LEAVING NOW, THANKS ASSHOLES.  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] left the memo--


	54. Karkat's Deprivation

You set down your phone and shoot Kanaya a disapproving look. She continues to grin at you like you’re a child.  
All you did was try to comfort him and now you’re stuck with two pieces of polite trash tampering with your nonexistent love life.  
_Well...they can meddle all they want. It’s not like it’s going to do anything._

The rest of the period was spent hunched over some random book from Mrs. Rosa’s shelf, rereading the same paragraph over and over.

You feel like shit.

“Karkat when did you go to sleep last night?”  
“Ten.”  
“That’s not too bad...why are you so tired?”  
“I don’t know John, maybe ‘cause I woke up at one. Or maybe it’s ‘cause I’ve only had a total of 7 hours of sleep in the past two days.” You slur, taking a small bite of the thinnest pizza imaginable. It’s like tomato sauce on a piece of paper.  
“I don’t think that’s healthy...” Tavros says without looking up.  
“Wwhat’s been keepin’ you up?”   
You look at Sollux and raise your eyebrows. You’re impressed he’s kept his mouth shut about your problems, thankful even.  
“I see you, in fact, don’t tell each other _everything_.”  
Your best friend rolls his eyes.

Dave’s been silent the whole time. Probably because of what he said in the chat. You were a little surprised he would show those emotions in front of everyone.  
He’s never done that...especially in front of Eridan. He must’ve been pretty freaked out about it. Was it just because another person was added to the mix...or was it because YOU were that person?

**You’re not that special.**

**Don’t get your hopes up.**

_Yeah...he’s probably just worried about how many people are involved._ It’s making itself out to be a pretty big problem, unfortunately.

“Kar?”  
“Huh?” _Fuck, pay attention._  
“You didn’t answwer my question...”  
“It doethn’t matter. What matterth ith that you actually get thome thleep tonight. It’th thaid that thleep deprivation hath the thame effectth ath getting drunk. Tho DOUBLE the trouble tomorrow.”  
You squint at him. “You _would_ know that, wouldn’t you?”  
He cackles.  
“I guess I’ll just be double exhausted and unresponsive.”  
“Oooooooor you could just go to sleep?” John raises both eyebrows.  
“Easier said than done.”  
“You...just lay your head down like this,” he demonstrates by putting his head on the table, “and then you close your eyes and you’re done.”  
Sollux snickers next to you, “He hath inthomnia you athh.”  
“What? Really?”  
“Announce it to the fucking world why don’t you?”  
“It’s evidently clear due to the purple bags under your eyes,” Kanaya leans against your shoulder.  
“Enough of this stupid talk about Karkle’s eyes, they’re beautiful. Let’s talk more about the partyyyyyy, what kind of booze is Rox bringing?” Terezi asks. Thank-fucking-god the conversation is off of you.  
“She’s bringing her friend...Maria? Mira? Something along those lines. She’s the one with the alcohol,” Rose answers. “I think she owns a bar or something, so there will probably be a variety.”  
“Sweet!” Terezi slams her fist on the table and it makes you jump. Goddamn, you need a nap.  
  
You get progressively tired throughout lunch and cinema. Photography consists of you checking what time it is every two minutes. When it’s finally time to go see Porrim, you make your way there while trying not to fall over and die.  
“Goodm...orning,” her smile fades. “You look worse than yesterday, how’d you sleep?” The concern on her face is groundbreaking.  
“Not very well.”  
She seems to ponder something. “I’m contacting your doctor,” she sits down at her desk and begins typing.  
You don’t say anything.

“I’ve declared that, from now on, Thursdays and Fridays are dedicated to your projects! We’ll have a progress update tomorrow since we’re already half way done with the quarter.”

There’s a few groans, mainly from Sollux’s direction. You eye your partner beside you.  
“We haven’t even picked a goddamn song,” you whisper.  
“We’re fucked dude...”  
You shake your head and lay your forehead against the cold table.  
“Actually...maybe not...” Dave takes out his phone, pulling up a playlist labeled “my whole childhood”  
“All I see are Disney songs...” You point out.  
“And? You dissin’ my music?”  
“No...It’s...are we going to do that musical thing?”  
“Hopefully, why?”  
“I don’t...isn’t that a bit weird?”  
“Nah man, it’s gunna be fabulous. Here,” he pulls up a song and hands you an ear bud.

 _I have often dreamed,_  
_of a far off place._  
_Where a hero’s welcome,_  
_would be waiting for me._

“Hercules?” You ask with a grimace.  
“Yeah man, you could do the singing and I could do the piano and tambourine. It would be hella cool and we could like...dress up in togas and be super awesome.”  
“You mean super nerdy?”  
He shrugs, “It's whatever, we don’t have to do it if you don’t wanna,” his shoulders droop and his voice loses the chirp it had. It's like you just crushed his dreams.  
You sigh, “It’s not like we have anything better so...sure, let’s try it.”  
“Sweet, I could even borrow Dirk’s kick drum, and give it that extra 'umph'.”  
“You’re going to play the piano, the tambourine, _and_  the drums?”  
“One drum, yea.”  
“Hm. So what about the abandoned building?”  
“We could still do it there. Oh shit! I forgot: I got like the best idea while takin' a bath the other day. Okay so the whole song is about becoming stronger or whatever...so maybe we could start the video off at the Sburb house and then throughout, we could transition into a buildin' that looks like it but isn't all trashy. It would be kind of metaphorical I guess" He shrugs, “but...that might be a stupid idea I don’t know...”  
“It’s better than nothing.”  
“Wait...yer down?”  
“The toga’s are a little stupid, not to mention embarrassing, but I think Mrs. Paint would like it so...”  
“Alright, sweet. We should uh...probably make a plan or something. When do’ya wanna do this?”  
“When I’m awake?”  
He smirks and nods, "We'll talk about it tomorrow?"

When you get home, you make some peppermint tea and practice some relaxation techniques, hoping to god you crash soon.

You fall asleep within the hour (a new record for you).


	55. Just Cronus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a sketch of the chief

[Cronus](https://animemiranda99.deviantart.com/art/Better-Quality-698159098?ga_submit_new=10%3A1502460269)


	56. The Unanswered Questions Of Karkat

When you wake up, it’s dark outside and you’re thankful to get at least a good chunk of sleep. You feel only slightly better though.

You check your phone and you’re bombarded with a list of notifications...all of them from Pesterchum.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 3:41--  
TG: ok  
TG: so  
TG: i have sunday monday off  
TG: do you wanna record it those days at my house or????  
TG: yo dude  
TG: wait  
TG: you were really tired today so i guess yer sleeping??????  
TG: you better be sleepin  
TG: youre gunna need it for johns party tomorrow  
TG: anyways  
TG: ttyl man  
TG: hope you sleep good  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 3:55--

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 7:08--  
TG: jus walkin home from work and theres this really cool building here  
TG: its like a memorial or some shit  
TG: would look pretty fuckin cool in our vid  
TG: you up yet????  
TG: wow  
TG: stupid question  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 7:10--

\--twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:28--  
TA: hey  
TA: iim 2orry iive been 2uch an a22hole  
TA: youre lookiing pretty wor2e for wear  
TA: how have you been 2leepiing??  
TA: kk??  
TA: iim 2orry  
TA: ii am a really bad friiend  
TA: iill make iit up two you  
TA: ii promii2e  
TA: do you want me two make you 2ome breakfa2t iin the morniing??  
TA: are you 2leepiing??  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:41--

\--caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:33--  
CA: hey kar  
CA: jus wwanted to see if you wwere alright  
CA: you seemed pretty out of it today  
CA: i probably coulda handled that a lil better huh  
CA: oh wwell  
CA: hope you feel better tomorroww  
CA: see ya  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:42

\--turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:59--  
TG: areyou okay  
TG: shi t  
TG: i need ot know if your ok  
TG: holy shit karat  
TG: fuck  
TG: pls

The conversation is still open and it’s already 2 a.m. Huh.

CG: I’M OK I GUESS  
CG: I DON’T SEE ANY REASON TO BELIEVE I’M NOT?  
CG: ARE *YOU* OKAY?  
CG: TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET THIS.  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 2:12--

That was really fucking weird...but ok?

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 2:13--  
CG: HEY.  
TA: hey  
CG: HOLY SHIT YOU’RE STILL UP?!  
TA: couldnt 2leep  
TA: you??  
CG: I SLEPT PRETTY GOOD, CONSIDERING THE LAST TWO DAYS WERE SHIT.  
TA: iim glad  
TA: my offer 2tiil 2tand2  
TA: you want toa2t?? eggo2?? a plum??  
CG: WHO EATS A PLUM FOR BREAKFAST?  
TA: theyre really good  
CG: YOU’RE WEIRD.  
CG: EGGOS ARE FINE.  
TA: liightly toa2ted?  
CG: OF COURSE.  
TA: alriight  
TA: iim 2orry  
CG: I KNOW.  
TA: iive been a jerk  
CG: I KNOW.  
TA: wow way two rub iit iin  
TA: wvr  
TA: iit2 fiine  
TA: ii deserve iit  
CG: CAN I JUST ASK..IS ERIDAN REALLY *ALL THAT*?  
TA: he2..  
TA: amaziing  
TA: iit ju2t feel2 2o riight wwhen iim wiith hiim  
TA: whiich 2ound2 2uper chee2y  
TA: but iit2 true  
TA: ii bet iif you were two hang out wiith DV then youd feel the 2ame  
TA: but you two are ju2t tiiptoeiing around each other  
TA: even ED thiink2 iit2 2tupiid  
CG: SO, IS THIS YOU...WHAT? EXPLAINING WHY YOU’VE BEEN IGNORING ME?  
TA: ii wa2nt iignoriing you and..ye2  
TA: thiis may bee my attempt at objectiifyiing why iive been an a22  
CG: IT’S NOT MAKING ME FEEL ANY BETTER.  
TA: iim 2orry  
TA: iive realii2ed how iimportant you are two me  
TA: and iit wont happen agaiin  
CG: AWE?  
TA: 2hut up  
CG: WHATEVER NERD.  
CG: I’LL SEE YOU LATER.  
TA: 2ee ya  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 2:30--

The rest of the early morning was spent laying on your side wrecking your brain cells with unanswerable questions.

When it’s time to get up, you take a scalding-hot shower, pack some clothes for John’s, and you’re about to walk out of the house when you look around just to make sure you have everything. There, on the coffee table, is a single DVD case.

Huh.

It’s...Stuck In Love...your favorite movie? No one knows about that though...Sollux doesn’t even know, he probably still thinks Hitch is your favorite. What is this? Why is it sitting out like this?  
Your dad wouldn’t just leave a movie laying around, you’re sure of it. Despite your certainty, you walk back down the hallway and peak into Kenneth’s room. The bed is perfectly made except for the curled up figure on the rightmost part of the bed. He doesn’t even use the sheets, he just uses a small blanket so he doesn’t mess up his bed.  
You grimace as you whisper, “Dad?”  
He doesn’t move.  
“Dad.”  
He looks over his shoulder with squinty eyes. Grunting in a way that says “what do you want?”.  
“Did you leave this movie out on the coffee table?” You hold it up.  
“No...” He rubs his face. “Why?”  
Shit.  
“No reason. I’m heading off to school, sorry for waking you up.”  
He nods and rolls back over.  
Fuck, you were hoping he’d say “yeah I secretly know you love that movie so I thought you should bring it to John’s, don’t forget your lunch” but that didn’t happen.  
When you exit the hallway, you look around your house and get a cold shiver. He was in here wasn’t he?

Cronus.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 6:46--  
CG: WHERE IS CRONUS RN?  
CA: uh  
CA: probably in his room?  
CA: wwhy?  
CG: CAN YOU MAKE SURE?  
CA: sure??  
CG: THANKS.  
CA: yea hes in there  
CG: ARE YOU SURE?  
CA: uh...yeah  
CA: 100% sure  
CG: HOW DO YOU KNOW? DID YOU SEE HIM? DID YOU SEE HIS FACE?  
CA: id rather not see his face right noww  
CG: ???  
CA: please dont make me open that door  
CA: from the sounds coming out of there  
CA: id be scarred for life  
CG: EW.  
CG: OK, NEVERMIND.  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 6:52--

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 6:52--  
CG: HEY.  
CG: CAN YOU MAKE SURE DERICK IS AT HOME?  
CG: DAVE?  
TG: why?  
CG: BECAUSE...SOMETHING HAPPENED AND I JUST REALLY NEED TO KNOW HE’S THERE.  
TG: what happened  
CG: DAVE...PLEASE?  
TG: ok

You realize you’re pacing like some movie cliche. You should probably leave before you’re late to school. You stare down at the plastic case for a moment, before stuffing it into your backpack.  
  
TG: tell me what happened  
CG: IS HE THERE?  
TG: karkat  
TG: what happened  
CG: UH...  
CG: I FOUND MY FAVORITE MOVIE SITTING ON THE COFFEE TABLE.  
CG: EXCEPT NO ONE KNOWS IT’S MY FAVORITE MOVIE.  
CG: AND MY DAD DIDN’T AND WOULDN’T LEAVE IT OUT.  
CG: HE HAS LIKE MILITARY-INDUCED OCD OR SOMETHING.  
CG: AND I JUST HAVE THIS FEELING THAT SOMEONE WAS IN HERE.  
CG: ...  
CG: I’M GOING TO TAKE A GUESS AND SAY HE’S NOT THERE.  
TG: where are you rn  
CG: JUST LEAVING MY HOUSE.  
CG: WHY?  
TG: wait at the end of your street  
CG: O...KAY?  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 7:02--

You slide your phone into your back pocket and lock up the house. You nearly have a heart attack when you see someone sitting on your porch.  
“Jeeth, jumpy much?”  
You sigh, “Yeah.”  
“What’th up, you look like you’ve theen a ghotht.” He holds out two Eggos wrapped in a paper towel.  
“Thanks,” you take them. “I might be nothing but...I think Dave’s brother was in my house last night?”  
“What? Why?”  
“I don’t know, but I think he...” You shake your head and shrug. “I don’t know.”  
He gives you a questioning look while you take the first bite of your breakfast.

_If he left that movie like that...does that mean he’s trying to taunt me? Or does he want us to think someone else did it? Maybe it wasn’t him...maybe it was me and I just forgot about it. Shit, stop thinking so fast._

You two soon reach the end of your street, and you stop.  
“What’th the hold up?”  
“Dave said to wait for him.” You glance down the street for a patch of blonde and you find it. It’s bouncing up and down while Strider jogs. You turn away and try not to make it look obvious that you were looking. Why are you doing this? You have no idea.  
“Running to thchool? Are you crathy?” Sollux shoots.  
Dave stops a couple feet away and you feel his eyes on the side of your face. You meet his gaze and holy shit.

He doesn’t have his shades on so you can see the light purple staining just under his eyes. On top of that, his hair is a mess. And on top of THAT, he’s got this...concerned look on his face. Did I mention he’s looking straight at you?  
“Wut?” You say through a bite.  
“You’re...” He seems to realize he’s a fucking mess and stands up straighter. You watch him dig around in his pocket and bring out his shades, clearing his throat. “Bro isn’t at the house and Dirk doesn’t know where he is.” His irises are hidden now, damn it. “We even tried tracking his phone but it’s shut off or something.”  
“What exthactly happened?”  
“I...found my favorite movie laying on the coffee table.”  
“And?”  
“And no one knows it’s my favorite movie. Plus, you know my dad, he wouldn’t leave something out like that.”  
“All thith worrying over _Hitch?_ Are you thure you didn’t jutht leave it out latht night?”  
“It wasn't _Hitch_ ," you meet the amount of sass Sol put into the word. "I went straight to sleep the moment I got home Sol. The only people who could’ve done it is Dad, and Derick.” You’re talking too fast. Fuck, slow down. “And I asked my dad-he said no.”  
Sollux nods slowly.  
“Tho what are we gunna do?”  
“I think we should talk to Dirk, he seems to be the ‘leader’ here.”  
“Maybe we should go to thchool firtht?”  
  
The three of you walk the rest of the way silently. You wonder why Dave's eyes look so tired. He slept right?

You may or may not have  ~~unintentionally~~ brushed arms with Dave a few times, but who cares?


	57. The Day Karkat Forgot

  
John is just as annoying as any other day, but worse. Honestly, you don’t see how this kid could have so much energy. It’s almost painful to watch.  
“Oh hi! Good morning Karkat, did you bring a movie for tonight, not like we’re gunna need it I mean, it’ll probably get pretty wild and everyone will forget about the movies...like last time...but yeah...Hey! Did you take notes for Mr. English’s test today?”  
You continue staring into his eyes intensely, then slowly say, “John...lay off the morning coffee. Or better yet, give it to me.”  
Sollux snuffs and shakes his head, smiling.  
John goes red in embarrassment, “I...didn’t have any coffee.”

“Hell-oo boys! Ready to part-tay?” Terezi spreads her arms out.

Suffice it to say, you get too overwhelmed to deal with your friend group’s shit and you go to class early.

It really freaks you out that someone was in your house. Your dad usually locks all the doors and windows and sets the alarm, so how could he have gotten in? Why would he leave your favorite movie out on the table? How did he even know that was your favorite?

_Maybe if I just don’t think about it, it’ll go away..._

**Ha-ha, what are you? Dumb? This shit isn’t going away any time soon.**

Your morning classes pass by and even lunch too. You vaguely remember the group discussing what happened but you tuned out because you kind of just want to forget about it.  
  
You’ve gotten progressively tired throughout the morning but it’s still better than yesterday.

In cinema, you get in a heated discussion about whether Captain Ahab was the antagonist with Erifuck. Ampora thinks the stupid whale is the bad guy, but the point to the whole movie is the theme greed, which is prominent in Ahab. He may not be the antagonist, but the creator obviously wanted him to be a bad guy.

Kanaya shakes her head at you two when the debate turns into a name-calling match.

Ms. Megido makes the class go out in the freezing cold to take pictures of nature. Given, the trees are turning really pretty colors, you think she just wanted to go outside to hang out with Cronus.  
Apparently, it’s football day. So the class is hopping around on the field like dogs chasing a ball.  
Your subconsciously search for a tall blonde guy, but you don’t see him. It makes your shoulders sag. You lift them back up when you realize why they went down because that’s stupid as fuck, it’s not like you were hoping to see him.  
You roll your eyes at how stupid you’re being.  
The rain soaks through your sweater so fucking fast, by the time you get inside, you’re a wet sheep with 10 pounds of wool hanging off of you.  
Disgusting.

Porrim informs you that she’s been messaging your doctor as well as your dad. They’ve decided it is best to stick it out and see if it continues. You also have a new appointment next Thursday.

Your shirt is still soaking when you walk into seventh period. Strider is already sitting at the table and holy shit...when did you two start automatically sitting next to eachother?

He doesn’t say any snarky comments about your sweater when you sit down, which earns a lifted eyebrow from you.  
“What?”  
“...what’s wrong?”  
“What d’ya mean?”  
“You’ve been...kind of off all day. Did you sleep at all?”  
He shrugs, leaning his cheek againt his hand. You resist snorting at how squished his face looks. Wait...ugh, this is rediculous.  
“So...Sunday I’m coming over to record the song right?”  
He nods.  
“And Monday we tape us being idiots in abandoned buildings?”  
He finally looks at you, or at least turns his head to look at you, and smiles? You can’t really call it a smile, it’s more like a slight upturn of his lips. Honestly, it seems...sad.  
“You sure you’re okay?” You skeptically look at him.  
  
With the way the muscles on his face move, you can conclude that he’s scrunching his eyebrows together behind his big ass shades. You get a sinking feeling in your stomach.  
“Yeah man, just fine.” His voice has no tone and it makes you cringe.  
You want to insist he tell you what’s wrong but it’s not really your business. You decide not to be a pushy bitch and leave it at that, shaking your head and pulling out your phone.  
  
\--autonomousArbiter [AA] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 1:54--  
AA: When d9 y9u want me t9 pick y9u up t9m9rr9w?  
CG: ARE WE HAVING LUNCH OR BREAKFAST?  
AA: Whatever y9u want.  
CG: OK, I GUESS ELEVEN IS FINE.  
CG: WHERE ARE WE GOING?  
AA: ...  
AA: Y9u f9rg9t...  
CG: WHAT?  
AA: T9m9rr9w is Septem6er 9th.

You stare at your phone in horror. Shit nononono shit FUCK! How could you fucking forget you stupid augggg!

\--twinArmageddons [TA] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 2:03--  
TA: hey  
TA: youre lookiing a liittle pale..

Your fingers are numb as you type.

CG: ...  
CG: tomorrow is the day kankri died...  
TA: oh 2hiit..  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 2:05--

CG: I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.  
AA: It’s alright, y9u've 6een under a l9t 9f stress lately and I’m glad y9u’ve made friends wh9 can distract y9u fr9m this.  
AA: I’ll see y9u t9m9rr9w at 11:00.  
\--autonomousArbiter [AA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 2:08--

Your heart is pounding really hard right now. Shit. You let him down. How could you forget?

You feel something nudge you from Dave’s direction, but you can’t stop looking at your dad’s messages. Then a warm hand settles on your other shoulder and you look up to see Sollux with a worried expression. He doesn’t ask if you’re okay and you’re grateful. You don’t think you could answer that question right now.

Your phone pings lightly and you look down.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started a memo PARTY!! at 2:11--  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] joined the memo--  
EB: are you guyss ready to par-tay!???

You stand up carefully and maneuver through the desks and chairs until you get to the door. You slip outside and head for the bathroom.

**White**

_No._

**Sterile**

_Stop it._

**Kankri**

_Please..._

You’re crying by the time you situate yourself under the paper towel dispenser. You hug your knees closer to yourself and rest your forehead on them.

_How could you have forgotten. You fucking idiot. Goddammit._

Your dad must be so upset with you right now. You let him down. You disappointed him. You disappoint yourself for gods-sake.

_I’m so cold._

You want that warm hand on your shoulder...but...do you really deserve it? Do you even deserve to breathe? You forgot. You forgot Kankri!

You hear creaking and look up to see Dave in the doorway with his mouth halfway open, but he’s not saying anything. You must look like shit.  
“Wh _at_?” Your voice cracks.  
He steps in and closes the door.


	58. Mainly Sollux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a vid i made yesterday n i really like it

[sollux is my baby](https://youtu.be/ilC77_b7-2k)


	59. Dave's Hug (Or Nah)

Your name is Dave Strider and you are wholeheartedly confused as shit. Karkles just left with the world’s most epic “oh shit” face. _Did he leave the stove on or something?_

Captor takes Karkat’s seat and turns towards you. _Wow this is really weird..._

He fixes his glasses and then levels his eyes with yours. You feel like he’s going to give you “the talk”.

“Go after him.”  
  
You raise your eyebrow.

“Why?”

“Becauthe...” he sighs. “For onthe can you not be an athhole and jutht do what I thay? He needth you.”

_Needs me?_

You get up, because you’re not about to make this awkward and Sol actually seems pretty serious.

It takes you about three minutes to walk to the bathroom (because that’s usually where people go when they’re upset). You would’ve been faster if not for the questions slowing you down.

_Why would Karkat need me?_

_Is he hurt?_

_What if I fuck it up and make it worse?_

You stand outside the metal door longer than needed but...eventually...after a large sum of consideration...you push it open.

You spot him before it’s even all the way open. He’s curled up under the paper towels. You open your mouth to say something sarcastic as fuck...but then he looks up.

When his eyes meet your shades, you kind of...just...freeze. His eyes are swollen and wet and it makes your eyes water and holy shit why is he crying?

“Wh _at_?” Oh fuck his voice broke and that sent... _something_ straight to your heart. Fuck.

_Maybe I should stop just standing here and actually do something productive?_

You shut the door behind you but you don’t step forward just yet.  
“You...uh...okay?”  
He looks at you like you’re stupid.  
“Yeah okay, that was a dumb question, sorry.” You search for something else. “Can I sit?”  
He shrugs and looks towards the sinks.

You sit a foot away from him. _That’s a good distance right? Yeah._

It’s quiet for a long time, and as you think about the next thing to say. Then you clear your throat.  
“So, last night...I had a nightmare that you died again. That’s why I was actin’ so weird this mornin’. I didn’t sleep all that well so I’ve been dying all day.” You look over and catch his eyes.  
“'Again'?”  
“Yeah...that one I had at John’s a few weeks ago...that was of you dying too. I don’t know why my mind comes up with these things.”  
He looks at the floor in thought. “Maybe you’re scared of...me dying.”  
You look at him again.  
“That sounds really selfish to say,” he laughs sadly.  
“No, maybe you’re right. I mean...that would really fucking suck.” _Especially since we haven't even tried at a relationship yet, it would be tragic. Wow, what a thought._  
You plunge into a silence that’s not comforable but not awkward.

You check your phone after four minutes and god damn.

(52) Missed Messages

“Why does this always happen?” You mumble, showing Karkat the screen. He lets a breath out through his nose in a huff.

You join the damn chat and scroll through, skimming the first few messages.

“Everyone’s just being hyperactive idiots, as-per-usual.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything different,” he says. You look sidelong at him and see that he’s still hugging his knees and his eyes are...really fucking sad. _Jesus, what made him like this?_

The bell rings just then, and you both jump.

“You...good to go? It’s okay if you jus’ wanna sit, but I mean, there’s gunna be dudes in here ready to relieve themselves after a long and boring class period.”

He clears his throat and shakes his head. “No, we should go.”

 

You walk him to his locker, where you see Kanaya and your sister waiting expectantly. Karkat hugs Kanaya, making you feel like an idiot.

_I should’ve hugged him..._

It would have been amazing to feel him in your arms. Shit man, no. Hug him to make him feel better, not for your own personal gain, you selfish dickwad.

You go to your locker to grab your shit, looking down at your phone. You don’t even want to read the chat, it’s probably stupid as hell. You roll your eyes...but they’re proabably talking about the party so...

_Ugghh._

\--ectoBiologist [EB] started a memo PARTY!! at 2:11--  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] joined the memo--  
EB: are you guyss ready to par-tay!???  
\--adiosToreador [AT] joined the memo--  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo--  
\--gallowsCalabrator [GC] joined the memo--  
GC: FUCK Y34!  
\--caligulasAquarium [CA] joined the memo--  
AT: iM DOWN  
CA: i dont evven knoww wwhy im goin  
\--arachnidsGrip [AG] joined the memo--  
AG: Hey John you mind inviting my old 8uddy?  
AG: fuchsiaFink  
\--twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo--  
EB: yeah sure!  
EB: who is it???  
\--fuchsiaFink [FF] joined the memo--  
FF: wussup bitches you just poked the dragon of awesomeness  
CA: apparently the dragon of awesomeness john  
TA: no 2hiit  
AG: Hey loser, so whats on the menu????????  
FF: i think you meant to type the prettiest richest and most awesomest chick in this chat but you misspelled it  
\--grimAuxiliatrix[GA] joined the memo--  
FF: must be those big thumbs of yers  
AG: For the love of christ Meenah, I swear.  
AG: Just tell us what youre 8ringing.  
FF: fine fine ok so i got  
FF: smirnoff  
FF: capn morgan  
FF: jackie dans  
FF: corona for the pussies  
FF: and an ass load of malibu rum  
AG: Thats it????????  
FF: i got you bitches like three whole cases of alcohol that costed like a hundo and you only game me fitty bucks so you betta shut your cake whole before i come ore there and smack ya  
FF: you ungrateful hoe  
AG: Fiiiiiiiine I guess that will work.  
FF: i also sea that both of your pussy hookups are here haha  
FF: hiii bitches  
GA: Good Afternoon Meenah, Always A Pleasure.  
GC: 1 TH1NK YOU W3R3 TH3 PUSSY HOOKUP P31X3S  
AG: Can we not do this right now????????  
FF: lol  
EB: ok...  
EB: so we’re going to meet out front next to the benches.  
EB: hopefully everyone gets the memo haha  
EB: if anyone sees someone who hasn’t seen this yet, tell them ok?  
TA: got iit  
TA: now iif youll excu2e me from thii2 2hiit2how..  
\--twinArmegeddons [TA] exited the memo--  
EB: alright, that’s all folks  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] exited the memo--  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] closed the memo--

 _Damn, looks like a shit ton of drama._ You shake your head and close your locker.

You scan the hallway, looking towards Karkat’s locker. They’re gone, so you head towards the front door.

You spot John running towards you once you’re outside.  
“Hey man, what took you so long?”  
“I was reading over the memo dude.”  
He grimaces.  
“What’s up with all that drama anyways?”  
“Honestly, I have no idea. You ready to get recked?” He turns and skips over to the group.  
You shake your head at his choice of words and follow him.

Karkat is talking with Sollux off to the side. Probably about whats wrong because they look pretty serious.

_Oh, now they’re hugging. Shit, I should’ve hugged him. He probably didn’t want a hug from me, but I sure as shit want one from him._

“Dave! C’mon man!” John yells. “We’re gunna pick up pizza!”


	60. Dave's Vacation to Hawaii

When the group of rowdy teenagers finally makes it to John’s, it’s 3:41 in the afternoon. John’s front door opens with a ‘whoosh’ and you look up to see Roxy. She sees the pizza and exclaims in a demonic voice, "PIZZA!"

Once inside, you plop down on the sofa and yawn. A group swarms the table where the pizza is laid out, but you don’t feel all that hungry. If anything, you feel tired as hell and just want to curl up and sleep. Maybe after a few drinks, you’ll wake up and be all awesome and stuff...maybe.  
You look over at the small group of friends gathered around a greasy array of pizzas. Your mind wanders to the reason you’re sort of there. Yes, you’re celebrating John’s discharge from the mental ward but you’re also here to see what happens with Cronus and Bro. Would it be possible Cronus is sitting in the bushes out there? Is it possible that he could only be a couple feet away from you? What’s gunna happen when it gets dark? You won’t be able to see outside all that well.  
The knock on the door brought you out of your dozing and thought.

Your first thought was Cronus and then Bro, then Dirk. Of course, it’s probably Dirk. He probably got off work earlier. Right?  
  
“David, get off your ass and get the door!” Vriska yells.

_Shit._

_It’s fine. Everything’s fine._

You slowly make your way to the door. Just before you get there, there’s a loud banging. Like...whoever is on the other side really wants in.  
Shitshitshitshitshit, just open the door.

You don’t realize your whole body is tense until your muscles relax. It’s a girl, with two long braids, weird style, and one snarky expression.  
“Took ya’ long enough, fuck.” She walks right past you, bumping your shoulder with hers. You close the door behind her.  
  
“Where’s the booze?” Vriska asks before she takes another bite.  
“Hello to you too babe. Ya’ wanna try that again?”  
The other rolls her eyes, “Hi Meenah, where’s the booze?”  
“It’s in the back of the Jeep, you ungrateful hoe.”  
  
After unloading the the three crates of bottles and the two cases of beer, you finally have a slice of pizza. It’s warm and a little stiff but still good. You walk over to the couch, where John, Sollux, Eridan, and Karkat are sitting.  
You sit next to John who is messeging someone.  
“So what’s the plan Stan?”  
“Huh?”  
“What exactly is gunna happen tonight?”  
“Oh! Haha, I guess...just get wasted and not throw up on my carpet?”  
“Sounds solid. Hey, you okay?”  
“Yeah!”  
You squint at him. “That was the fakest answer you could’ve given me.”  
John looks over and his smile fades, replaced by a creased brow. Karkat’s brow is cuter.  
“Should I invite Jade?” He looks like a hurt puppy.  
“Do you want to?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then do it.”  
“You sure?”  
“I mean, you gotta’ get over it at some point right? Why not after a few drinks and some pizza?”  
“Yeah...” He looks lost in thought so you don’t say anything else.

“Hey shades!” You look up confused, it’s Meenah. “Pick your poison, we’re taking the first shot.”  
“You got that coconut shit?”  
She smiles and it’s unnerving as fuck. “Coconut shit-comin’ right up.”

“Dave,” your turn at the sound of Karkat’s voice. “You wanna help me bring down John’s stereo?”  
“Sure man.”

It was hella awkward once you two climbed the stairs. You could barely hear the clanking of dishes and the chattering of your friends. Your mind begins to wander.

_Why would he ask me to help him? Why not John? Maybe this is my chance to hug him..._

“So...” Karkat says as you’re walking. You can see John’s door.  
“So...?”  
He clears his throat to start again. “I asked around and turns out, Meenah went to the same high school as Broderek and Cronus.” He stops with his hand on John’s door and looks at you. “She could be in on it too.”  
You think a little while your two enter the room. “Makes sense. This party was suppose to be about keeping a look out so they probably didn’t wanna stick around. But if there was someone everyone wasn’t watching...”  
“They’d have a straight shot to snoop and do whatever the hell they want.”  
  
Shit. What are their motives? Why the hell would they want to fuck with a bunch of teenagers? Why you guys? All of this is so confusing to you.

Before you know it, you’re fidgeting and your mind is going 100mph. _Like what the fuck man? Are they just all pedophiles? Are they murderers? Are they going to hurt anyone? Who would it be if they did? Shitshitshit shit s-_

Karkat reaches up to touch your shades. When did he get so close? He takes the sunglasses off of your face really slow, like he’s afraid of hurting you.

Once they’re off, you look at the ground. You don’t know what your face looks like right now and honestly? You might not even care.

“You look terrified.” Karkat says softly.

“I just...keep thinking about why. Why us? Why stalk a group of teenagers? What exactly are they planning yknow?”

“Yeah...I feel like we’ll figure it out soon. Dirk is a really good hacker, and so is Sollux. They’re gunna help figure it all out. Don’t worry.”

You look down at his determined face and almost laugh. He’s so cute and you don’t even care that that thought was hella fuckin’ gay. You want to hug him and you think that’s exactly what you’ll do.

You step forward and his eyes widen just slightly. You love the feeling when you actually snake your arms around him and feel the pressure against your torso. He smells kinda like wood, but like a weird musky wood. You could smell it all day.  
He soon wraps his arms around you and squeezes you. It’s not hard and that’s what makes it so cute. Holy shit what is your heart doing?!

He’s so warm, like a fucking space heater. You really don’t want to let go but it’ll probably turn awkward if you don’t.

You loosen your grip and so does he, and then it’s over. His face is red as he hands you your shades.  
“You...uh...you carry the wires and shit. I’ll get the box,” he says.  
“Alright.”

Your name is Dave Strider and there is something seriously wrong with...well...with everything at the moment, but that hug was like a vacation in Hawaii and you feel ready to protect the people around you more than ever.


	61. Striders Suck at Beer Pong

When the stereo is all hooked up and ready to go, you take the liberty of plugging in your phone and picking your party playlist.  
“You better not be putting that stupid Disney playlist on,” Karkat crosses his arms.  
You click play dramatically and a low beat starts, gaining hoots from people in the other room. Karkat rolls his eyes but you see the small smile tugging at his lips.  
“Fucking dor-”  
“ALRIGHT EVERYONE GATHER AROUND, WE’RE TAKIN’ THE FIRST SHOT!”  
You and Karkat both raise your eyebrows at the volume of Meenah’s voice.

Once everyone is gathered around the table, Meenah hands out the shots she just poured, “On threef.”  
“One.”  
You look at Karkat and he rolls his eyes.  
“Two.”  
You focus on the murky liquid at the bottom of your red cup.  
“Threef-drink!”  
  
Tipping the cup was easy, swallowing was easy...but trying to breath after that...that’s a different story. Thank god you’re used to that burn in the bottom of your throat, otherwise you’d be coughing like an idiot.  
“Whoo!” John shouts as he slams his cup down on the table. A few others do the same. Tavros and Aradia seem to be coughing like idiots. You look towards the kitchen and spot Kanaya and Rose talking over glasses of water.

Terezi stands up on one of the chairs, “Okay! Next shot!”  
“What? Another one?” You ask.  
“Yes, we need to get this party rolling. Why Stridude, are ya’ scared?”  
You shake your head and roll your eyes, setting your cup down on the table again. Meenah sloshes some more coconut shit in it and you pick it back up.  
“Take off thothe thtupid thingth Dave, we wanna thee your reactionth thometimeth.”  
You shake your head and flip Sollux off.

Like fuck if you’re gunna let all of these people see how fucked up you get when you’re drunk. You’re either extremely hyper or extremely sad. Exhibit A: the apple juice dilemma that one time.  
Then your shades are snatched from your face and you’re left squinting at the sudden light change. “What the fuck?” you look around and see that Meenah is cackling and swirling your shades.  
“Dirk, you’re next!”  
“Fuck no, stay away.” When did he get here?  
“DIRK!” You hear Roxy’s loud voice. “Give the people what they want!”  
“Fuck off Rox!”

After a few scuffles between Roxy, Dirk, and Terezi, the shades are finally off and Dirk is glaring at Roxy. You and your brother make eye contact and you both roll your eyes.  
“I don’t see why you hide your eyes,” Terezi says thoughtfully. “They truly are beautiful.”  
“Light sensitivity,” you say.  
  
After you’ve swallowed the next shot, your mind begins to feel fuzzy, and after the third...everyone agrees to set the table up for beer pong. You watch as half of the group moves to the living room, including Karkat. You want to go with him but you refrain from it. Staying by his side the entire night would be super weird wouldn’t it?

You play more than a couple rounds and by the time you quit and opted to go into the living room, you’ve had at least 15 half-cups of beer and you are losing grasp of your filter and judgement.  
You wander into the living room to see a circle of people sitting on the floor.  
“Please don’ tell me yer’ playin’ spin the bottle,” you roll your eyes dramatically.  
John’s loud, high pitched voice makes you grimace. “We’re not playing spin da bottle Dave,” he seems to be trying too hard to talk normally. Some people look up at you. “We’re playing truth or dare, come sit.”  
Those words didn’t register in your brain so yes, you sat next to John and Tavros’ chair.  
“Dave,” Sol shouts over the music. “Truth or dare?”  
“Trust or dare?”  
“Yeth!”  
“Uh...truth?”  
He smirks, “Who did you think wath your thoulmate at firtht?”  
“What?”  
He wiggles his eyebrows.  
“That’s the question you choose ta’ ask me?”  
“Yeth, now anthwer it.”  
You sigh and move into a more comfortable position. “I thought it was you, ya’ asshole.”  
“What? You thought Sollux was your soulmate?” John asks.  
You nod, eyes heavy and brain hazy.  
“David,” you hear your sister’s voice. “How drunk are you?”  
“Jus’ know that I suck at beer pong...” you laugh.  
  
You dare your sister to kiss “her girlfriend” and everyone hoots and hollers as her and Kanaya kiss sweetly. You laugh and elbow John for no reason.  
“Alright dear brother...” you clear your throat from laughing and look up at her. “Truth or dare?”  
“You know I would never choose dare Rose, yer too good at this game.”  
She smiles, “True. Okay, who in this circle would you like to kiss the most? Yourself doesn’t count,” she adds.  
You cock your head to the side, “Now what kinda’ kiss ‘r we talkin’ ‘bout?”  
“On the lips, 5 seconds or more...”  
You hum and look from person to person. When you get to John you grimace and shake your head, moving onto Tavros and then to Nepeta, and then Feferi. You contemplate what it would be like to kiss a gay girl. There wouldn’t be any strings attached and you like that idea, but you keep moving down the line.  
“Hurry up Dave, time is ticking...” Rose taunts. You shake your head when your eyes move to Sol, and then...  
Hm.

There’s Karkat...sitting with his elbows on his knees and eyes staring at you curiously. Your eyes flick down to his lips to find he’s biting them.  
Without looking away from Karkitty, you ask your sister, “Do I haveta’ answer?”  
“Yes.”  
  
You hum again, contemplating what it would be like to kiss Karkat. His lips brushing yours and holy shit yeah.

You clear your throat and look up at your sister. “Karkat,” you shrug.

“Oh really?” You don’t like the look she's giving you. “What makes you say that?”  
“I thought ya’ could only ask me one question.”  
“I’m curious.”  
“I don’ think that’s how dis’ works hun.”  
Rose smirks and lifts her head, “Fine...you’re turn.”  
“John, my dearest best friend.”  
“Yes Dave?” John asks dramatically.  
“Truth or dare?”  
“I’m gunna havta’ go with...Dare!”  
You smirk, “Thank god. I thought I might havta’ come up witha’ stupid question.” You shift and eye your best bro evilly. “Show us the weirdest picture ya’ have on yer recently deleted album.”  
“Daaaaaaaave! Really? This again?”  
“Yes, go get yer phone.”  
John groans and stands, walking over to the kitchen.

You look over at Karkat, who catches your glance when he feels your eyes on him. You grin drunkenly at him. He’s got the darkest eyes you’ve ever seen, and the smoothest cheeks. You’d like to feel them. You bet they’re as soft as a babies bum. Your eyes move down to his chapped lips that he keeps biting. Mmm.

Ok hold up. What the fuck was that Dave? You just told the whole group you’d rather kiss Karkat and now you’re actually thinking about it? Wow, you must be super fucking drunk right now.

John comes back with his phone in his hand and a reluctant frown on his face. “Do I have to do this Dave?”  
“Yes, come on ya’ scaredy cat.”  
He plops down next to you, scolling through his phone. You still feel Karkat’s eyes on you and you close your eyes and focus on the tingle his gaze leaves.  
“Wait...” You hear John next you. “I...didn’t take this.”  
You look over to see a picture of John sleeping and your mood totally shifts.  
“What the fuck is that?” You take his phone from him and stare at the picture. You tap around to see when it was taken. It was yesterday night.  
“Do you think...” John doesn’t finish his sentence because you’re already nodding.

Someone broke into John’s house and took photos of him sleeping, then deleted them.


	62. The Fireball on Strider's Lips - Or Lack Thereof

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are not drunk enough for this.

Eridan snatches the phone from your hand, and then it’s being passed around and...damn. You really need a drink.  
  
You really wish you had your shades but you don’t know what that Meenah bitch did with them. As you’re watching everyone raise their eyebrows at the picture, you decide you need some more liquor.

When you stand, you wobble a bit but otherwise stay upright. Your trek to the kitchen is interrupted when you almost run into Dirk. He has a beer bottle nestled in his hand and a quirked eyebrow.

“You okay?”

You push past him with an eye roll.

“Hey, what’s yer problem?” He reaches out to catch your arm but is disrupted by Rose.

“Dirk, there’s something you might want to see...”

You ignore everyone and when you finally make it to the kitchen, you find a bottle of Smirnoff, which you’ve never tried before. You look at it for a second before shrugging and pouring yourself half a cup.

You down the whole thing in 6 gulps, a small stream of it escaping from the side of your lips. The burn in the bottom of your throat makes you shake your head and let out a low breath.  
  
“Fuck,” you breathe.

Why are they doing this? What kind of sick pleasure are they getting from this? Is your brother really capable of all of this? And can Dirk protect you from everything? Can you do anything? Are you seriously useless in this situation? Fuck...why can’t you figure out whats going on? Are you dumb? Shit...you might be. Dammit.

You sit down with your back against the garage door when a wave of dizziness hits you. Damn Dave, you probably shouldn’t have downed that last one...or maybe this is just what you wanted.  
  
Closing your eyes, you let everything in your mind settle into a dark fuzziness. That is...until the image of Karkat getting dragged to his death pops up, along with the phantom pains of Karkat’s words being striked out on your chest. Why the hell can’t your mind let that go?  
  
“You okay?” Comes a familiar raspy voice.  
  
‘Speak of the goddamn devil...’

You avoid opening your eyes so you can focus more on keeping your face passive. “...’m great.”

Karkat’s silent, but you hear his light feet pad over. A moment later, you feel something hard against each of your knees. You open your eyes to see Karkat mimicking your criss-cross-applesauce, his knees right up against yours. He’s holding out a blue cup of something.

“I think ‘m good for now,” you smirk lightly.

“It’s water you incompetent ass. Just drink it,” he places it into your hand, brushing his warm fingers with yours; you try not to focus too heavily on it. Instead, you take a couple sips and stare down at the water ripples, trying to keep your head from falling to the side.  
  
“I hope you’re not blaming yourself again...”

You shrug, still not meeting his eyes, “’M not...I was...but now I’m jus’...really...really...drunk.”

He chuckles, making you smile at the low, happy sound. You finally look up and meet his eyes. He’s gazing at you intently, eyes soft and penetrating.

You clear your throat, “Uhm...why’r you lookin’ at me...like that?”  
  
His eyebrows contort into that cute, determined way. You have no idea what’s going on right now.

He starts to lean forward, but his face is moving to the side. What?

“You’re the most clueless person I know Dave.” He rolls his eyes and reaches up to your neck-jaw area. Whoa...WHOA...

You’re sure your face shows how fucking scared you are right now. Is...Is he about to kiss you? Fuck fuck fuck, what do you do? You’re just staring at him and he’s...smirking? What the fuck should you do? Push him away? Close your eyes? Yeah...yeah, that seems like a good plan.

You close your eyes as he pulls you forward and you lose all sense of being as your heart seizes.

It takes you a moment to realize that his lips are just on your cheek and his thumb is rubbing slow circles behind your ear. His lips detach with a small, bird-like “chu” but he keeps his hand there, resting his forehead on yours, “This isn’t your fault.” His breath smells faintly like cinnamon. Fireball, you presume.

You don’t think you’ve realized how intense his stare is until now. But that could be due to him only being a couple inches away. or maybe it’s because you’re super fucking drunk right now...or a combination of both.

You also don’t think you’ve ever been this close to someone for this long. You’ve hugged Rose and kissed girls, but never longer than a couple seconds. You wonder what it would feel like if you kissed the seriously inviting lips you’re staring at.

You hum as his thumb caresses your jaw and you don’t realize you’re leaning in until you’re snapped out of your stupor by loud shouting.

“ALRIGHT KIDS! ROUND UP! IT’S TIME FOR A FAMILY MEETING!”  
  
You both seem to jump at the extremely high-pitched tone of your older sister’s voice. You instantly pull away, heart racing. You suddenly don’t know what to do with your limbs and start touching your jeans and rubbing the back of your neck. “Shit...sorry,” you pass the cup back to Karkat and stand up, careful not to fall or bump the unmoving boy in front of you.

“Ya’ comin’?”

“Yea...” He looks up at you confused, almost like he just woke up.

Reaching a hand down to help him up, you try to smirk but it just turns into a grin. He looks up with those big brown eyes and rolls them at the sight of your expression.

“What’re you smiling at?” He grabs your hand and you lift him. You don’t let go when he’s up.

“We almost jus’ kissed...”

He looks down, trying to hide his face. “Yeah...and? You think that’s funny?”

You shrug, “Yea...actually.”

He’s hiding a smile, but before either of you can say anything else, Dirk pops his head into the kitchen.

“Yo, you kids hear the all call o...oh...sorry. Uh...am I interruptin’ somethin’?”  
  
“Nah, it’s cool.” You let go of Karkat’s hand and walk towards your brother, Karkat in tow. You’ve never had a harder time trying to keep your face neutral than walking to the living room with your soulmate who you almost just kissed and holy shit...that actually just happened.

Too bad your ecstatic mood is ruined when you step into the living room to find the coffee table moved to the side and Meenah sitting in the center of a circle of people, tied up with rope and gagged with her own braids.

“What the fuck?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo. shit man, things r happinin'. I'm currently workin on editing this POS with a cool person. That cool person being DragonCakie. Super great. I'm realizing just how bad this thing is lmao. It was meant to be bad anyways, but it's gunna get BETTER...
> 
> *screams*


	63. Call to Action: Dave

“What’s going on? I’m not even gone for fifteen minutes and you guys are goin’ full fuckin’ spy movie here?”

You feel your shirt tighten and you look back to see Karkat looking very confused and gripping the fabric...probably for comfort. You ignore the lightness in your heart when you think that you ground him. Or maybe you’re just being conceited and he just needed something to hold onto.

A N Y W A Y S. You need to focus on the problem at hand...and that is that everyone in this goddamn house is fucking crazy and out of their fucking minds!

“Dave, this bitch is in on their plan! She’s been sending them pictures of us! Look!” Terezi shoves a phone with a pink case into your hands.

“Still! You don’t have to tie someone up. This is fucking crazy...” You look down at the snippet of text messages in front of you.

FF: dude you should be here  
FF: its like highschool all ore again  
MM: Focus Nee, try to find out what’s going on.  
FF: its fuckin obvious that its just a party man  
MM: Just take some fuckin pictures jesus its not that hard.  
FF: fine fine  
FF: attatchment: <somenurds.>  
FF: attatchment: <somenurds.2>  
FF: attatchment: <smolstriderplayinsomepong.>  
FF: attatchment: <davesassiscute.>  
MM: Gross.  
FF: what? it is! >:)  
FF: attatchment: <thislilvantasiscutetoo.>  
FF: attatchment: <doyoulikemynails?.>  
\--FushiaFink [FF] ceased pestering MasterMarionette [MM]--

You look up at Terezi, and then John, “This doesn’t tell us anything...”  
  
John spreads his arms wide, “It tells us that they’ve been spying on us!”  
  
“Yeah...but that doesn’t mean you tie her up. Are you fucking crazy?!” You yell at him.

He seems to pause then, maybe considering what exactly is going on.

Dirk moves forward, but Terezi blocks him, “No, you’re not untying her!”

“Yeah...’n why the fuck not?”

“Uh...because we need to interrogate her?” She looks at Dirk like he’s stupid.

You look over at Meenah. She’s trying to work her way out of whatever is tying her hands together. There’s a lot going on right now...holy fuck. You take a step back, right into Karkat. You expect him to move back too...but he steps in front of you.

“ALIGHT!” He yells. “All in favor of interrogating this bitch raise your hands!”

You watch as Terezi, Vriska, Sollux, Equius, Eridan, and surprisingly...Feferi raise their hands.

“All in favor of untying her and talking this out like civil fucking people raise your hands!”

Karkat raises his hand and so do you. Along with Rose, Kanaya, Dirk, Aradia, Nepeta, Tavros, and Roxy. You look over at John, who’s wringing his hands and looking at Meenah.

“We’re not untying her!”

“Terezi, shut the fuck up!” Karkat yells. He’s actually pretty intimidating. “You’ve have like four shots of tequila so you have no right to make decisions right now and you know it!”

She stares him down for one last moment before she scoffs and exits the room.

Dirk is the first to move after she’s gone. He kneels down next to the girl and unwraps her hair from her mouth. She spits the extra pieces out and actually growls.

“Fucking bitch.”

Once she’s up, she looks straight at Vriska, who is holding onto Kanaya’s arm like she’s a shield of some sort.  
  
“I buy you little shits booze and this is what I get in return?!”  
  
“Tell us why you’re sending pictures of us!” Karkat buts in. He’s seething underneath that thick sweater, you can tell.

She turns towards him with a smirk, “Or what? You’ll tie me up again?”

Karkat chews on his lip in thought, but Dirk speaks up for him.

“Go ahead...we’re not going to do aything to you,” he shrugs.

You now notice that your brother...looks hella smug. Like he knows something everyone doesn’t...  
You think Meenah notices too because her smirk is gone and replaced by a glare. You recognize a stare down when you see one. No one’s talking and it makes it...incredibly eerie.

Meenah lowers her voice. It’s not quite a whisper, but its close. She looks reluctant to say these next words.

“There’s something going on and Rec thinks it’s his job to take care of it. He’s very protective of his family. Just...don’t worry about getting hurt unless you’re guilty,” with that, she glances at each and every one of you, grabs her coat from the back of the couch, and slams the door on her way out.

You’re all left in silence, wondering just what the fuck to do next. You faintly hear Terezi throwing stuff around in the kitchen and you definitely hear the Jeep’s engine turn over. You glance a look at everyone's faces; some of them are frustrated, some relieved, and some downright angry.

You step towards the hallway, where you plan to escape the chaotic group you call your friends. ‘ _First I have that fucked up nightmare, then Karkat’s house gets broken into, more exhaustion from not sleeping enough, almost kissing Karkat...and now this? What. The. Actual. FUCK?_ ’

“I’m too goddamn drunk for this.”  
  
“I believe the proper term is ‘wasted’,” a smooth voice comes from behind you. You’re halfway up the stairs when you turn back to Kanaya. “Sit?” She asks, motioning to a random stair. You sit because...well...what else are you going to do? Mope around and drag your feet upstairs?

She lets you get comfortable before she continues. “I am truly sorry. I didn’t think that was going to get that out of hand.”

“What?”

“What just happened...” she cocks her head.

“Yeah, I get that...but why are you apoligizin’ to me?” You’re confused, and you’re pretty sure your face shows this. “Why’re you sorry? You didn’t ‘cause it...”

“Yes. But I could’ve stopped it.”

“That’s not on you though. That’s on whoever tied her up and voted to interrogate her like she was a drug dealer.”  
  
“True. Very true. Yet I still feel responsible for not easing the confrontation as best I could.”

‘ _What’s the point of this conversation?_ ’

“...although, I guess I was too preoccupied with shielding Rose from...crazy stalker...bitch.” She looks towards the bottom of the stairs like she’s trying to remember exactly what went down a few minutes ago.

“Hm.”

“I’m sorry,” she laughs and fully turns towards you. “I got a little side-tracked. I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Uh...me? I’m fine. Why?”

“You...seem to have lost your...facade. You just admitted that you’d kiss Karkat out of everyone in the living room, and honestly...you look like a kicked puppy right now. Just wanted to make sure you’re having a good time.”

“I dunno, all this shit is kinda freakin’ me out.”

“Is there anything I could do to ease your mind?”

“Nah, I jus’ want it all over with.”

She settles her back against the stair behind her and hums. “Me too,” she takes a sip from her blue cup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shit compared to the edited stuff lmao. But whatevs. Y'all needed a chapter so here ya go. :)
> 
> Yo yo yo yo. Check out my other fanfic. Its gunna be reeeeeal gay.


	64. Back At It Again Wit Dat gUd Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally did it. I did it just for you. Hey don't worry if my writing style has changed...it's just gotten better. And so don't mind the drastic change. It's gunna be great. Trust me.

Your name in Dave Strider. You are reminding yourself of this as you stand. You’ve been sitting on the stairs for quite a long time. Q U I T E a long time. If you were a character in a story, this would be the point where the author takes a long ass break and doesn’t write a goddamn word for seven months.

But enough of that shit, right? Your cup is empty and the music is back on downstairs. It seems that all of the shit that went down has rolled over and everyone is back to having fun. Or as much fun as their nerves will let them.

You reach the bottom of the stairs and catalog the actions of people you give a shit about. Dirk is on his computer, which is hooked up to the speakers. He’s probably choosing the next song like the good DJ he is. Roxy is pulling people to the center of the living room to dance; most of them give in begrudgingly. Rose is laughing about something on Eridan’s shitty phone. What makes it shitty? He’s got a fish face on the back of his phone case. If that isn’t ironic, you don’t know what is.

Moving on from your family members, your stair-companion, Kanaya, has moved on to chowing down on something in a bowl and throws a piece at Roxy when she tries to pull her up off the armchair. John is playing beer pong with some dudes and Aradia. And your favorite bro is trying to reach the bowl cupboard without falling out of his wheelchair.

On the off chance that you come across something to fill your cup up with, you head to the kitchen to help out Tavros.

“Sup my dude,” you greet. It seems the little guy is glaring at the cabinet like it’s dog poo he ran over with one of his wheels so now he has to be careful where he grabs but, naturally, his palm lands on the slimy substance anyways.

You easily reach up and grab a bowl for him. His pouty face is replaced by a big smile, like you just washed his hand and his wheel and they are both now free of shit.

Enough of this analogy, Jesus.

“Thanks Dave, can you reach the Chex mix too?”

“Yea, no problem dude.”

“Thanks.”

You lean against the counter as he pours himself a snack. The song changes to something by Kesha and you instinctively bob your head to it. You glance around the kitchen, eyes landing on the tile near the garage door.

‘Oh shit. Wait...man...did that really happen? Shit. SHIT.’

Your face starts burning. You wonder if Karkat will be wasted enough to like...not remember that in the morning or something. Your shoulders drop a little. That’s probably not the case.

“Thtrider! Tavroth!” Sollux bounds up to you. Obviously, he’s drunk off his ass. You can’t help but smile at how stupid he looks. “We need two more playerth to join our game or we can’t play!”

He looks wired: eyes wide, hands shaking, grin cut across his face. You momentarily wonder if Gamzee maybe offered him something.

“What game bro?”

He motions to the table, where a fresh game of pong has already been set up. Surprisingly, Tavros accepts the invitation to join and, unsurprisingly, he’s at a disadvantage.

You spend the next half hour getting beaten by Sollux and Equius. You’re pretty good, but no match for them. Sollux, even wasted, makes more shots than you. By the end, you’re thoroughly drunk and laughy. And, against any better judgement you might still have, you pour yourself some more hard liquor and join everyone in the living room where a talent show has begun. The judges are, of course, the sober trio, Rose, Kanaya, and Jade. It seems John invited her after all.

You take a seat next to Rose and automatically become some sort of judge associate. And in all of your hazy glory, you actually participate. Only the drunkest of them all get on stage, which makes each and every performance a shit show...but an entertaining shit show, nonetheless.

The pinnacle of the party is when the low lighting of the living room illuminates a dozen and a half bodies swaying this way and that to a low, bass song. Your feet are vibrating and there’s a smile on your face. You’re currently dancing with Feferi and Nepeta and everything is nice. Nice and light-hearted. Just the way you like it.

You fall asleep in the armchair, picking Chex mix out of the cushions so they don’t poke you. Your socked foot ends up on the side table and you dream of something you won’t remember when you wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHH. I really need to remember this is the first draft and it's OKAY to write like shit. so hopefully I can get back into getting this shit finished. I have an ending in mind. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed this short, short chapter. bOI this party has been goin on for a LONG time. my apologies.
> 
> keep doin what chur doin my dudes.

**Author's Note:**

> I am currently working with DragonCakie to edit this. Prepare to see this piece of shit transform into a beautiful butterfly. :)


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